The Quit-O-Meter


The Quit o’ Meter-I think I might quit being a volunteer manager because…

  • A. Management asked me to recruit 12 volunteers who will wash the cars of our board members as a thank you for THEIR service.
  • B. A volunteer just quit because she couldn’t bring her llama in as a therapy pet.
  • C. The fifth fellow staff member today just asked me what it is I do, exactly?
  • D. A prospective volunteer tells me he has to do court ordered community service because he was charged with assault. (of his last volunteer manager)
  • E. An acquaintance asked me what I did and after I told him that I managed volunteers, he said, “what idiot would work for nothing?”
  • F. Once again, on International Volunteer Manager Appreciation Day there was a call to thank the volunteers, not the volunteer managers.
  • G. Someone pointed out that I manage 100+ people but am not considered a “manager”. I’m a “coordinator”. Basically, volunteers manage themselves, I suppose.
  • H. Volunteers have become my main source of “friends” because I spend so much personal time with them in a lopsided relationship in which I cannot be myself.
  • I. I am home in bed with a case of “VolunGuilt.” I didn’t send a card, go to the hospital or call the volunteers who “need me.”
  • J. I’ve started watching reality shows about difficult jobs and I find myself wondering if I could actually fish for crabs in the Bering Sea.
  • K. I don’t play the Lottery for “fun” anymore.
    L. I have “practice conversations” in which I yell at senior management because they just don’t get it.
  • M. I have just watched another volunteer manager “move ahead” by getting a job at Starbucks.
  • N. I have just found out that almost every position in my organization has a higher starting salary than a volunteer coordinator. I am thinking of applying for a part-time job to make ends meet.
  • O. Last night I dreamed that I was a carcass on the side of the road and all these vultures were picking at my bones while laughing and saying, “she’s pretty tasty after all.”
  • P. I just finished a presentation to staff and someone commented, “the volunteers are such cute little old ladies, but I sure wouldn’t want to manage them, ha, ha!”
  • Q. Once again, I was denied attendance at an organizational planning meeting. I’m just a coordinator, I guess.
  • R. A senior manager remarked, “but you don’t manage any employees!”
  • S. Once again, the CEO said, “we love our volunteers,” but won’t let any work in administration.
  • T. A new volunteer just remarked, “you look so tired. Are you sick or something?”
  • U. A senior manager just asked, “why can’t you get a volunteer to drive 20 miles, at night, to pick up the supplies that staff forgot to order for an event tomorrow?”
  • V. My supervisor said, “be glad you don’t have to worry about the really important stuff.
  • W. When I tried to explain that a volunteer quit because the department who requested the volunteer wasn’t using him, my senior manager just shrugged and said, “well, get another.”
  • X. One of the staff grumbled, “and all of the volunteers have the cushy jobs.”
  • Y. Rules and regulations are so cumbersome, the volunteers are not trusted to do much anymore. I’m not a volunteer manager, I’m a risk manager.
  • Z. A staff person said, “just get that volunteer to do it, what’s her name again, the one that’s been here forever?”
  • AA. Once again, the Holiday gift was a mug that said, “Greatest Office Worker Ever.”