The Quit-O-Meter

The Quit o’ Meter-I think I might quit being a volunteer manager because…

A. Management asked me to recruit 12 volunteers who will wash the cars of our board members as a thank you for THEIR service.
B. A volunteer just quit because she couldn’t bring her llama in as a therapy pet.
C. The fifth fellow staff member today just asked me what it is I do, exactly?
D. A prospective volunteer tells me he has to do court ordered community service because he was charged with assault. (of his last volunteer manager)
E. An acquaintance asked me what I did and after I told him that I managed volunteers, he said, “what idiot would work for nothing?”
F. Once again, on International Volunteer Manager Appreciation Day there was a call to thank the volunteers, not the volunteer managers.
G. Someone pointed out that I manage 100+ people but am not considered a “manager”. I’m a “coordinator”. Basically, volunteers manage themselves, I suppose.
H. Volunteers have become my main source of “friends” because I spend so much personal time with them in a lopsided relationship in which I cannot be myself.
I. I am home in bed with a case of “VolunGuilt.” I didn’t send a card, go to the hospital or call the volunteers who “need me.”
J. I’ve started watching reality shows about difficult jobs and I find myself wondering if I could actually fish for crabs in the Bering Sea.
K. I don’t play the Lottery for “fun” anymore.
L. I have “practice conversations” in which I yell at senior management because they just don’t get it.
M. I have just watched another volunteer manager “move ahead” by getting a job at Starbucks.
N. I have just found out that almost every position in my organization has a higher starting salary than a volunteer coordinator. I am thinking of applying for a part-time job to make ends meet.
O. Last night I dreamed that I was a carcass on the side of the road and all these vultures were picking at my bones while laughing and saying, “she’s pretty tasty after all.”
P. I just finished a presentation to staff and someone commented, “the volunteers are such cute little old ladies, but I sure wouldn’t want to manage them, ha, ha!”
Q. Once again, I was denied attendance at an organizational planning meeting. I’m just a coordinator, I guess.
R. A senior manager remarked, “but you don’t manage any employees!”
S. Once again, the CEO said, “we love our volunteers,” but won’t let any work in administration.
T. A new volunteer just remarked, “you look so tired. Are you sick or something?”
U. A senior manager just asked, “why can’t you get a volunteer to drive 20 miles, at night, to pick up the supplies that staff forgot to order for an event tomorrow.”                               V. My supervisor said, “be glad you don’t have to worry about the really important stuff.”  W. When I tried to explain that a volunteer quit because the department who requested the volunteer wasn’t using him, my senior manager just shrugged and said, “well, get another.”                                                                                                                                                   X. One of the staff grumbled, “and all of the volunteers have the cushy jobs.”                         Y. Rules and regulations are so cumbersome, the volunteers are not trusted to do much anymore. I’m not a volunteer manager, I’m a risk manager.