volunteerplaintalk

Category: personal development

  • Volunteerism Lip Service

    Photo courtesy of Gratisography

    Lip service. Gotta admit, I’ve been guilty of patting myself on the back by parroting all the great things I believed in to further volunteerism and volunteer management. But, was some of it lip service? Did I just spout stuff without backing it up with actions? For instance:

    I believe in the glorious future of volunteering:

    Well, give me a medal. But what about kids volunteering? Did I actively engage young people, give them leadership opportunities? Or did these words actually come out of my mouth: “I’m not a babysitter.” (the words came out of me, but, in my defense because I was babysitting a senior manager’s kid one summer, oh, and the boyfriend who tried to sneak in through the back door.) But then, I started to involve kids, and students, and it opened up a whole new world of innovation and creativity. Going to schools and engaging students. Setting up parent/child volunteer opportunities. Introducing young people to the mission and stepping back while they came up with ideas.

    I want all volunteering to be recognized/honored/respected:

    Sure, I do. But then, what did I do when hearing about volunteer successes at other organizations? Did I graciously praise them, promote them, or did I feel jealous? (did I actually huff, “well it’s easy volunteering there with all those cute animals, instead of with sick people.-Um, yeah, I did.) But once I realized other volunteer program successes helped all programs in our community, I could let go of the me vs. them mentality and do some partnering.

    I believe in engaging volunteers to the fullest:

    Well, did I send them to another organization when their skillset wasn’t being fully embraced, or did I hang onto them like that expensive outfit I can’t fit into anymore? Sadly, the amount of volunteer potential wasted by keeping skilled and willing volunteers tethered to our mission when they could have done so much good by going elsewhere is astronomical. (Oh, selfish, thy name is me.) Once numbers stopped being a goal, then quality beat out quantity every time. And by partnering/supporting other volunteer organizations in my community, a whole new world of possibilities opened up.

    I want staff to accept volunteers:

    Nice fighting words, right? Well, did I invite staff to be part of volunteer strategy upfront, or did I just grumble that staff didn’t get it? (I suppose if you consider the names I called staff in private, like “they’re just pig-headed” you could say I missed the opportunity to involve them, thus missing out on a collaborative atmosphere…sigh) If staff is part of the upfront planning, even if we don’t accept everything they propose, we still establish a cooperative environment.

    All volunteers are valuable:

    Oh, this one’s good. Well, did I have favorite volunteers, AKA, the ones I called on first because I needed to get a position filled? I knew Trevor would always say yes, so what did I do? I called Trevor. (Hey Trev, my buddy, my pal) Sure I filled the request. But in doing so by constantly calling on “reliable” volunteers, I fostered the idea that the number of volunteers I proclaimed we had was actually false, that it was far less because the same volunteers kept showing up. (We have 738 volunteers. On paper.) By taking the easy route, I gave little attention to newer, or more selective volunteers. And you know that’s not the way to engage anyone.

    Volunteers have the right to say no:

    Well, sure, I was really vocal about that one. Proud of it, too, but what did I model to them when I ignored my own boundaries? Did I take some sort of warped pleasure that I was overworked, willing to take calls at all hours, never really off, never on vacation? How could I tell them their well-being was important when mine obviously was not? (But see, I cared more than everyone else, and my commitment, er my availability at all hours, proved it.)

    I don’t take volunteers for granted:

    Well, go back to calling on that “reliable” volunteer over and over, because they always said yes. Not taking volunteers for granted means an extra effort to give all volunteers a chance to participate. It means taking care to not pigeon-hole volunteers into roles because it’s what’s needed when maybe a volunteer wants something new. It means giving needed breaks, not letting staff overwork their favorite volunteers, not sharing organizational politics or personal frustrations with volunteers who come with an unburdened heart. It means being professional, not hanging out with some volunteers while ignoring others. I’ve mistakenly done all of that. It was easy to do when I was swamped, struggling and in need of that awesome volunteer who patted me on the head and told me everything was ok.

    I want my volunteers to be treated with respect.

    Well, what about that opportunity to push back in the staff meeting, the one where I just sat there and said nothing?(They just don’t get it so I’ll sit here and brood. Yeah, I’m sending the stink-eye their way, that’ll show em!) I was tired of repeating myself, frustrated at the time I was losing by being there, ok, feeling dejected, wondering if my fellow staff were just too stubborn to change. Then I realized advocacy was not tied to my emotional state, but something strategic and planned. The notion that it was not about me and my precious feelings was very freeing and let me concentrate on a plan to show volunteer value.

    I believe in accountability

    Ok, sure, but then what about all the times I did not want to confront a volunteer on behavior and instead, just hoped things would work out? Well, those times never worked themselves out and frankly, got a lot worse. I learned the hard way to meet challenges head-on, to mitigate disasters before they occurred, to mediate before things got out of hand. And you know what,? Handling difficult situations got better/more efficient/more satisfying with practice.

    I want the world to know how great my volunteers are:

    But then, whenever a news source came around to do a story on the volunteers, did I just go along with the whole “Volunteer Betty is still going strong at 99?” I did, cause I was just so grateful to have any published recognition. Here’s the thing. Those stories never brought in throngs of volunteers. It is volunteer impact, not personality sketches that motivate others to volunteer, or donate or inquire about services. I wrote a blog post on this subject back in ancient times (well, 2018 anyway) entitled Volunteer News Stories: Does This Good Press Really Help?

    Ok, so maybe my New Year’s resolution is to recognize and correct my mistakes. (Again). Maybe I need to think about the stuff that comes out of my mouth and whether it’s just lip service or whether I believe it enough to put it into action.

    So, please learn from my shortcomings so you don’t have to think you’re guilty of volunteerism lip service.

    -Meridian

  • If You Love What You Do, It’s Not Work…Wait, Really?

    Photo courtesy of Gratisography

    There’s a quote out there I hear all the time, attributed to different sources that basically says, “if you love what you do, it’s not work.”

    Sigh. I’ve always detested that saying/quote.

    Clearly, whoever said this, never followed a leader of volunteers around for a day.

    What we do, what YOU do, is hard, hard work. It’s not easy. It’s not fun a lot of the time, like when a haughty senior manager sniffs at the notion that volunteers are capable of running a program. It’s not predictable, or easily explained or rote. It’s a constant “all hands on deck” mental and often physical challenge. It’s WORK.

    And heck, it never stops, because when you’re not “there,” you are thinking about it, planning, worrying about a volunteer, or creating new engagement strategies in your head. It occupies the spaces in our brains, nagging at us to “work harder.” Especially now, since we’re in a pivotal time of change, so more work is required to navigate the shifting landscape.

    And when well-meaning staff or friends giggle about how we get to plan parties and chat all day, we stoically smile and politely try to explain all the various skills it takes to engage volunteers, determine impact, create a sustainable volunteer team, mitigate conflict and everything else while they look off into the distance, their eyes glazing over. And frustrated again, we go on.

    Steve Jobs once said, “You’ve got to find what you love.”

    For us, Love is backwards

    Most of us didn’t seek out volunteer management because we loved it, but stumbled into volunteer management and fell in love with the work. Like a slow-burning romance, we discovered how much it filled us with joy, how much we thought about our new passion, late at night; how much we enjoyed the challenges and envisioned ourselves, holding hands with volunteer engagement as we aged.

    For us, Leadership is seldom a title

    “Leadership is not a title,” according to Vijay Eswaran. You can read his inspiring post here .

    Leading volunteers will probably not become the most coveted job in the world in my lifetime. I’m ok with that. But much progress is being made and that’s where true leadership comes in, because Volunteer Engagement is probably not going to “go viral” anytime soon. True leadership is the day-to-day hard work you do. It’s the passion you feel, the challenges you accept, the example you set, and the belief you have in yourself and your peers that what you love is essential in making our world a better place.

    Leadership is going beyond, by educating yourself, attending conferences, helping your peers, sharing best practices, crafting reports that show volunteer value, demonstrating volunteer value and impact whenever and wherever you are. It’s furthering our profession by caring about it, with all its warts and stinky body odor.

    So, do I agree with the saying, “It’s not work if you love it?” Nope, nope, never. Maybe try this: “It’s a lot of work, because you love it.”

    -Meridian

  • Never Forget, You Have a Hand in This

    Photo by Jacob Kelvin.J on Pexels.com

    Do you matter? Does the work you do matter? Are you feeling (mainly because there’s this pandemic going on) like “what difference does all this make?” Sometimes there are days like that, even weeks. That’s why I have stories that I clutch to my heart for times like these. Here’s one of mine in brief:

    There was something so familiar about her. Her eyes crinkled as she spoke. I’d seen that chin before, but it was her mannerisms that gave me deja vu. She was like reuniting with a good friend after a long absence.
    “I’m Bree,” she said, holding out her hand and we shook, a familiar warmth cursing through my arm. We walked back to my office and she sat down, her eyes taking in everything as though she had seen it before in another life.

    “My name is Bree Phillips and I want to volunteer here.” I didn’t recognize her name, but she continued. “I just moved here to be near my mother. Mom is getting older, and I need to take care of her. But I have some free time to give, and really, I’m here because of my father. He volunteered here many years ago.”
    “No kidding,” I said, still puzzled over the name Phillips, “who is your father?”
    “George Keenon,” she said.
    My mouth dropped open. “Your dad is George Keenon?”
    “Yes,” she answered, “do you remember him?”

    I knew him so well

    It suddenly dawned on me, those eyes, her chin, the mannerisms, I was looking at a clone of George. In that instant, I felt like I was sitting with him again, enjoying his stories of growing up on a farm, his love for family and helping others. George roamed the halls of the hospice care center, complementing the nurses and stopping to acknowledge a broken heart. I remember one day, when a patient asked to see Frank Sinatra, George agreed to “be Frank” and when he entered the room, she looked at him with a smirk and said, “whoa, you really let yourself go!” After that, our little inside joke was, “whoa, you let yourself go.” George was light and air and life itself all in one.


    Bree told me that before her father died, he told her to go volunteer at a hospice. “He was always talking about his experiences here,” she said. ” I swear, he had this long, great career in business, but he spoke more fondly about his connections to the patients.” Bree’s eyes brimmed with so much emotion. “I want to honor my father by following in his footsteps. I want to do something that lights me up the way it lit up my dad.”

    Do we ever really know?

    We, Leaders of Volunteers, operate in the intangible world: Goodness, Hope, Love, Charity, Personal Growth, Awareness, Connection, Discovery. Trying to measure these intangibles is like explaining why your dog loves you. He just does.

    We invest in people. But we don’t often measure our investment’s growth. We’re too overwhelmed with daily work to stop and take stock of our positive influence on volunteers and our missions. So, when these incidents like the Bree story occur, we stop spinning and realize that all of our work has far-reaching effects.

    You will never hear all the positive influence you’ve had. You’ll hear about some, but not all. That’s why I cling to my stories and quotes and even the look a volunteer gives me when they know, I mean really know that they have touched another person’s heart. I cling to the tears, the restarts, and the joyous celebrations. I fiercely hold the deep ache of volunteers’ souls when they share why they volunteer or their fears of inadequacy, or a pain from their youth.

    What we do know

    Maybe filling out a report doesn’t change the world. So, ok, making a quick phone call doesn’t alter the history of mankind. And sure, conducting a zoom meeting doesn’t solve societal ills. But look at all the good you produce. Look at your sphere and see what you radiate: Kindness, understanding, encouragement, belief in the goodness of others, acceptance, hope, inspiration, a willingness to listen and learn.

    You matter. Big time. And, do me a favor, ok? Forget for a moment the idea that you have to have earth-shattering successes to matter. Instead, feel contentment at how much you matter to so many people who may not say so. Feel satisfied that so much of your life is spent doing something meaningful. Feel fulfillment in how you engage and encourage people to be better. Embrace the satisfaction of knowing you’ve changed lives for the better. Feel privileged to have found something that fills your soul with meaning. Feel gratified that you are strong enough to go on.

    You matter to all of us

    We, volunteer managers are fighting for professional recognition, for more meaningful volunteer involvement, for seats at the planning table, and for volunteerism to be recognized as a society-changing force for good.

    Yes, we fight. But even the fighter has a moment alone, when the enormity of the fight presses down on wearied shoulders. Contentment comes, not from being complacent, but from understanding you matter.

    Let your “Bree” stories fill your heart to fight another day.

    -Meridian

  • Dealing with Regrets: Should We Let Go or Is There Another Way?

    Photo by Kamaji Ogino on Pexels.com

    Regrets. We all have them. I have some real doozies in my volunteer engagement career, and I’ve read plenty of advice about how to deal with regrets, including the advice to “let go.”

    I don’t know about you, but letting go is not that simple. I still am disappointed at some of my bone-headed mistakes, especially the ones I made, knowing that I shouldn’t have. Those are the tough ones to swallow. (cause, shhhhh, we’re not perfect)

    I’m thinking of the time I no-showed a volunteer’s funeral, the volunteer who always came in when I asked and oh, btw, gave a very thoughtful present to one of my children for graduation. I knew I would regret not going, but hey, I told myself I was too busy. Or tired. Lazy, maybe? Doesn’t matter; that one stings.

    Or when I knew sending an often unreliable volunteer to that home would result in a disaster. Sure, I had no one else. Sure, it was a tough case. Sure, I wanted to complete the assignment cause I was egotistical about filling assignments. But, I knew it was a mistake and yet, I did it anyway.

    Or when I was too busy to double-check on that assignment, cause my gut told me that times and location had changed, but I let it go, until volunteers frantically called me because they were in the wrong place. Yep.

    What was I thinking?

    Fortunately, I don’t dwell on these lapses in common sense. But I also can’t wipe them from memory like they never happened. Not entirely. So, is feeling guilty the answer? Can I do anything to make amends and wipe the deed from the universe’s memory?

    Constructive vs unproductive

    When you make a mistake you regret, look for the lesson. Two weeks ago I wrote about volunteers who teach us to be vigilant. The mistakes we personally make teach us not only are we human and fallible, but we are also adaptive and teachable. The beauty of being human is our ability to grow and learn.

    Harness mistakes as a blueprint for improving

    There are some ways to keep regrets from eating away at you. Being constructive and choosing to use the mistake as a springboard to improving puts you in control. Harnessing mistakes means:

    • first and foremost, get rid of unrealistic expectations-you know what I mean, the “I have to be perfect, because, (insert every disastrous outcome here, like volunteers will not like me) and set expectations that allow for a few mistakes to occur.
    • give yourself attainable goals and parameters-stop the “I must NEVER again do anything wrong” baloney and ease up. Try, “I’m working towards a reasonable goal in steps that are not perfect.”
    • forgive yourself, but remember the lesson and use it to motivate, not berate yourself.
    • record all the examples of you doing something amazing and compare to the one or two missteps-you’ll find that you are actually, pretty amazing.
    • dialogue the lessons: Journal the conscious steps you are taking from lessons learned.
    • remind yourself that volunteers and your organization are better served by someone who learns from mistakes and grows than someone who lives in paralyzing guilt and stays stuck in guilty-mode.
    • name regrets out loud(this is a tough one)-don’t fear admitting blunders, to volunteers, to staff, to administration. But always add, “and because I assigned a volunteer who I knew wouldn’t follow through, I have learned that it is more important to give our clients reliable volunteer help than just filling an assignment to fill it. And here are the steps I’m taking to make sure we always give our clients our best.” Besides, if you own your mistakes, guess what? You get to define them and stop any inaccuracies from becoming organizational lore, such as “oh, the volunteer department never sends reliable volunteers.” Own the narrative.

    Forgive without forgetting

    Let those tucked away regrets motivate you to be constructive so they don’t turn into full-on guilt. Regrets can either keep us paralyzed by guilt or they can motivate us to grow by making us constructive.

    And hey, think about this. Which would your volunteers prefer? A paralyzed by guilt leader or one beautifully human, who embraces constructive changes and is visibly growing in leadership skills?

    Not a tough choice.

    -Meridian

    If you are having overwhelming feelings of guilt, shame or hopelessness, please reach out to a trusted family member, friend or colleague. These days, additional stressors can exacerbate our feelings of guilt, hopelessness and anxiety. We all experience tough times and knowing when to ask for help is courageous and necessary. Be important to yourself. We need you.

  • Is Empathy Draining Us or Does Empathy Benefit Us Too?

    Photo by Polina Zimmerman on Pexels.com

    I remember each moment one of my children called to tell me something wonderful happened. I remember my best friend jumping into her car and driving to my house to show me her acceptance letter into college. I also remember the morning my childhood friend plowed through snowdrifts to fall into my arms when her Dad walked out on their family.

    I vividly remember volunteers who couldn’t wait to show me a picture of their new grandchild or share a family moment. I remember volunteers seeking me out to talk about a challenge they faced or sitting with volunteers, tears streaming as they shared their lives or volunteering experiences with me.

    Do you often hear these phrases:

    • “gosh, I could go on and on”
    • “I’m sorry, I’m taking up your time”
    • “I feel so much better”
    • “thank you for hearing me”
    • “where did the time go”
    • “I was so excited, I just had to tell you”
    • “I couldn’t wait to share this with you”

    You hear these phrases, because you are an empathetic listener. You use your emotional energy to listen well and you seek to understand the underlying emotions. It’s one of those things we do for others, right?

    But did you know that being empathetic is beneficial for us too?

    According to this article in Psychology Today, empathy helps us lower our stress levels and prevents burn-out.

    Emotion Regulation

    Empathetic listening helps us practice emotion regulation. By hearing others’ intense emotions, we are strengthening our skills to regulate the emotions that can cause us stress, such as anger and anxiety. As we listen to others, we are monitoring our own emotional response so we can focus on the speaker.

    Preventing Burn-out

    Empathetic listening helps us better understand how to handle stress, and how to communicate better. It shows us how to effectively communicate and work well with others. Our emotional intelligence gives us an advantage when advocating for volunteers’ and our needs.

    Collaboration and Managing Conflict

    Empathy increases our emotional intelligence, which guides us when managing difficult situations with volunteers or staff. As we flex our emotion regulation muscle, we can diffuse situations, handle tough conversations and forge collaboration.

    Every time we connect on a deep level with one of our volunteers, we forge a bond between us and ultimately between the volunteer and our mission. We become the emotional rubber band that stretches with the volunteer and gently pulls them into service.

    I used to assume any emotional intelligence I possessed was due to getting older and wiser. But I don’t think so anymore. I’m now convinced that emotional growth has come from being a #LoVols and using empathy daily. My profession changed me in ways I am forever grateful for.

    So the next time you close your email, silence your phone, shut the door, take a deep breath and settle in to be present with a volunteer, remember this: You are being present with your volunteer, but you are also developing mad skills that will serve you well. You are building your EQ (emotional intelligence) and emotion regulation ability.

    Or, in simpler terms, you’re becoming a more kick-ass leader.

    -Meridian

  • When All You See is Stress

    We are coping with a new normal that creates additional stress on already overburdened volunteer managers. Constant change and adaptation wears your psyche down like balding tires on a cross-country trip. You get no traction; only tires spinning and clouds of that toxic burning rubber smell. Your hard work is on hold. Volunteers are not getting the benefits of volunteering. People are not receiving the loving care from volunteers.

    A recent report from Reset 2020 (https://probonoaustralia.com.au/news/2020/08/new-report-uncovers-covid-19-mental-health-toll-on-nfp-sector/ ) indicates 28% of respondents say staff and volunteer mental health and well-being is impacted by the crisis. And when volunteers’ mental health is impacted, volunteer managers’ mental health is impacted.

    I don’t have some magic pill answer. Sometimes you just have to stop fighting and feel the feelings. (and remember, I am not a mental health counselor, just someone who’s also experienced burnout and dejection and stress).

    When struggling, I would find that fighting the burnout was more exhausting than experiencing it. I found that constantly berating myself for “having those feelings” crushed me. Instead, I began to let my understandably human emotions play out. I’d crawl into the feelings, turn them over, and verbalize how crappy everything was. I’d let the feelings run rampant.

    Then, after I rolled around in the negativity for a bit, something interesting would happen. I’d start to look at challenges without the crushing weight of burnout. Things didn’t seem so bleak. Sure, they were still hard, but they moved into a new perspective.

    I think we, volunteer managers tend to deny our negative feelings because we’re always “on.” We’re looked at as cheerful people with can-do attitudes and we don’t think we can have bad days. But we can. Because we’re human and our human-ness is what makes us so darned effective.

    Our human-ness allows us to empathize, to focus, to sincerely care. It makes us weep, and laugh, act silly and deeply serious. It leads us to connect and retain that connection as if invisible fibers radiated from our bodies to those around us.

    But it also gives us resilience. It gives us the will to get back up. It shows us that life is not always pretty or fun or good. We see the joys and the tragedies as we walk besides fellow travelers in the journey.

    We know that the human experience is filled with wonder, disaster, sadness and light. We know it is as varied as drifting snowflakes, and as vast as drops of ocean water.

    Our jobs require feeling.

    Sometimes we have to feel for ourselves

    -Meridian

  • Ruts Happen, Even in Fluctuating Volunteer Management

    Photo by Carlos Cu00e9sar on Pexels.com

    We, volunteer managers can get stuck in a rut, even though our days are varied and utterly unpredictable.

    I remember acknowledging I was stuck in a rut when I realized I watched out my open door every morning to see if the marketing director was wearing hose, because our policy attire required hose and she was never reprimanded. Yeah, sad, I know.

    Recognizing a rut

    But it made me recognize I was in a rut. I would arrive, sit down with my coffee, answer emails, make phone calls, then prepare for training, meetings, check ad responses, gather stats and set up interviews. All problems and crazy situations were just bumps in the rut road. Even the volunteer who removed taxidermy from a patient’s home because he couldn’t stand the deer looking at him became a routine challenge.

    Ruts are the dangerous, motivation killing, brain numbing enemy of creative volunteer managers. Ruts destroy our ability to move forward.

    We can be in a rut and not know it. We move slower. We take on nothing new. We look at the volunteer who, without permission, is rearranging the front office every time she comes in and think, “so what.” Every task and every question seems like another stone on our chest.

    Does a pandemic kill a rut?

    Even in a world altering pandemic that changes everything, our new routines can seem like weights because we haven’t fixed our old ruts. The rut just went in a different direction.

    New circumstances don’t automatically alter old perceptions and old inner challenges. New circumstances often add to the burden.

    How did I get here?

    So, how do you get out of a rut? For me, the first thing is dealing with my internal perceptions of the rut I created. By that I mean looking at how I perceive the things I’m doing. For example:

    • Q: why do I care that the marketing manager is not wearing hose?
    • A: because I feel there are different sets of rules for favored staff and I’m being treated unfairly.
    • Q: why do I sit and answer email instead of doing something else?
    • A: because it’s safe and I don’t have to interact personally cause I’m unmotivated.
    • Q: why don’t I care that a volunteer is rearranging the front office without permission?
    • A: I do actually care, but I don’t want to upset the volunteer by having an intervention, it’s so hard.

    Turning the wheel

    To get out of a rut, you have to consciously turn the wheel and find another road. Start small by varying your routine. Read emails at the end of the day. Ask a volunteer to make phone calls. Eat lunch at 10am. Vary your routine so it becomes obvious that it’s not about the order in which you do things, it’s the effort you put into each task.

    Take lots of mental breaks. Lots. Lots. Lots. We, volunteer managers need mental breaks in the best of times. Have your quilting or model airplane or unfinished painting nearby and stop, work for a few minutes on your hobby/project/silly fun doodle/whatever during the day. Clear that brain.

    Take stock of all your successes. Begin (if you haven’t already) to record inspiration-get a notebook and write down the things that inspire you, including quotes, stories, testimonials from volunteers, family, staff, community and your own experiences. Keep these nearby.

    Be un-perfect

    Purposefully forget to do something. Yep, not a typo. Prove to yourself that perfection is not the goal and instead, perfectionism drives you into a rut. Own your less-than-perfect self un-apologetically and don’t hold yourself to a standard you’d never place on a volunteer, other staff member or a person your organization is serving.

    So, I took my own advice and I wrote this post in one sitting, no revisions, re-thinking etc. It’s a mess, I know. Oh well.

    Perfectionism is for rut-dwellers.

    -Meridian

  • What do volunteers want? f/u.

    “Wait. you caught me off-balance.”

    What? You thought I meant… No, f/u=follow up. Like sending volunteer managers to leadership training, it’s sadly nonexistent these days.

    Lately, as a volunteer, I’ve experienced a rash of major lack of follow/up. Most of the time, follow/up applies to a new idea or project, but it can include things like getting answers on an assignment .

    Truth is, I’m guilty of it too. But when you experience it from a volunteer perspective, it is a motivation killer. No follow/up is like saying to a volunteer, “this is not important or worth my time. YOU are not important or worth my time.”

    When I was confronted by volunteers for not following up, I would feel off-balance and I’d use the excuses, “I’m working on it,” or “I haven’t gotten an answer yet,” (when I hadn’t even asked) or “I was just about to call you.” I’ve strung people along, put them on hold, shelved them, or ran the other way when I saw them coming; all because the follow/up wasn’t there. (But I was trying, so that made me a good person, right?)

    Why do we do this to our volunteers and to ourselves?

    • we have the best of intentions- but the road to the volunteer apocalypse is paved with good intentions
    • we can’t say no-which creates a loop in which we never get anything done
    • we are caught off guard-and we have no comeback prepared
    • we live in a visionary world-but we have no visionary strategy
    • we think we must prop up all volunteers-so we feed a need in some that may not align with our mission work
    • we are “nice” people-but we mistakenly equate nice with doormat

    The bottom line is this: if we can’t follow/up, we have no business engaging in the first place. What are some ways to prevent the volunteer f/u syndrome?

    • Make priorities known: It’s ok to say, “that is an interesting idea. Right now, our priority is to fill these volunteer roles. Can you help us do that first?”
    • Share the responsibility for f/u with the person: “I’m swamped with this event coming up. Will you remind me after the event?”
    • Be honest: “I might forget because we are in the middle of a recruitment campaign and I don’t want you to think I’m just giving you lip service, so can we revisit this at a later date?”
    • Weed out the serious from the non-serious: “That is an interesting concept. We have a volunteer task force that meets monthly and one of their objectives is to choose and implement a new idea. Would you come to the next meeting and make a pitch?”
    • Define the f/u: “What do you need from me? I will put it on my calendar and get back with you on the 20th of next month after I speak with the finance director.”
    • Don’t sugarcoat the no: “I’ve spoken to our CEO and at this time, she is unable to allocate the resources to your idea. It is not because the idea isn’t a good one, but because we are about to implement a new initiative and it’s all hands on deck right now. Try again after we’re successful.”
    • Don’t own the work: “I would like to help with that, but we are in the middle of volunteer appreciation planning. Can you work up a proposal with specifics and examples and get it to me? Without a fleshed-out proposal, I can’t get an audience to hear your idea.”

    I’ll not lie. I’m disappointed in my recent experiences with f/u even though I understand the why because I’ve been there and had those good intentions. But, still, lack of f/u kills motivation.

    So, let’s not make volunteer f/u an actual….F…. well, you know what I mean.

    -Meridian

  • 5 Ways to Stop The Ride Going Nowhere

    5 Ways to Stop The Ride Going Nowhere

    Photo by Min An on Pexels.com

    Oh, the feels, right? We’re swimming in them. We empathize, listen and experience the roller coaster emotions of our volunteers, our clients and our staff all the while living our own emotion-filled lives. The last thing we need is a ride full of destructive emotions.

    Have you experienced these passive-aggressive behaviors?

    • staff make snide comments about volunteers’ abilities
    • emails are copied to department heads in a tattle-tale way
    • lack of volunteers is a scapegoat for poor planning
    • staff make side comments about your management

    How do we get off this ride? I finally got tired of a few passive aggressive staff who routinely dragged me onto their cart of fun because their manipulative behavior left me tense and angry and unable to empathize with my volunteers. So, I refused to ride along by using these 5 ways to combat passive-aggressive behavior.

    Check your emotions and ask why. Why are some folks passive-aggressive? To deflect feelings of inadequacy? To make you act out their anger? To manipulate? Remember, a snarky comment is their way to make you defensive. Don’t go there. Be neutral and professional. Don’t give the passive-aggressive person satisfaction and they will seek other prey. Instead, calmly ask, “why did you say volunteer Ann is always late, and then you rolled your eyes. If this is a problem, I need to know so I can address it.”

    Don’t strike back. Emails are like theme parks for passive-aggressive people. If an obviously unreasonable email request for volunteers is copied to department heads and meant to bait you, reply with a cool, unruffled, “Thank you for your confidence in the volunteer department. It is our goal to provide the very best volunteers for each request and to treat our clients with the respect and professional service they deserve. I will keep you posted on our progress.” The passive aggressive staff member is goading you into complaining that the request is unreasonable, so get out of line for that ride.

    Prove it. When a staff member complains, “it always takes forever to get a volunteer,” reply with, “Please give me examples of requests that were not met on time. Without specifics, I really cannot make improvements and it is my job to continually improve volunteer services. So, what are those examples?” Broad statements without factual backup are g-force coasters to passive aggressive staff. Make them give you examples you can work with. Arm yourself with your Excalibur Sword-like phrase and wield it with might such as, “Our volunteer program is committed to our mission, therefore….”

    Deflect unwarranted blame in a professional way. Called out in a meeting because a staff member did not get something done and they want to blame lack of volunteers? Ugh, the roller coaster that plunges into a dark tunnel. Pick the right moment to stand up and say, “With a day’s notice, we provided 3 outstanding volunteers. I would like to take this opportunity to reiterate that volunteer services takes pride in supplying the right volunteers for all requests. The sooner we get a request, the more time we have to engage our volunteers.  Last minute requests will be treated with high importance, but often we have more than one last minute request.” Don’t get into finger-pointing but take the opportunity to educate staff on how to request volunteers.

    Counter with the positive. Negativity is the passive-aggressive track of choice so counter with positive stats, stories and mission supporting evidence. Flip the narrative; say, “did you know that last month our volunteers donated a staggering 850 hours which is more than having an extra 5 full time staff?” Or, “last week alone, our volunteers served 300 meals, impacting 80 families in our community?” Or, “because our 4 volunteers came in last minute to help with the event, our mission was able to reach 200 influential community leaders.”

    While roller coasters are meant to be fun, a passive-aggressive roller coaster is meant to derail your positive work. Don’t get on one.

    -Meridian

    this post is an update from 5 ways to get off the passive aggressive roller coaster.

  • Burning Out? Take On More Work! Wait, What?

    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    Volunteer managers: We are a sick bunch, aren’t we? We cry during the movie “Ghostbusters” because we feel bad for the ghosts. We stop and get out of our car to shooo a squirrel across the street even though he looks at us like, “hey, I’m walking here, crazy human.” We smile through pain and wonder how we can be better. Sigh. But no, I’m not suggesting using toilet paper to hastily scribble a “things to do list” with that pen tucked behind your ear while you’re..well you get the idea.

    Jeez Louise, what extra work can help then, if I don’t mean staying late and spot checking those packets the new volunteer, Kira put together, because, frankly you don’t trust that she did them perfectly and mainly because you’re so tired of hearing that little huff sound from the events planner when she speaks of volunteers?

    Burnout can occur when we feel like we’re not in control. Requests are pouring in from all departments. Volunteers need additional training. Recruitment has been spotty lately. There’s that volunteer that “needs a good talking to,” according to the director of operations. It’s overwhelming.

    Some things we can ignore or put on the back burner, but they don’t go away, not completely. No, they are still there. That stuff rattles around in our heads along with things like forgetting to give back the dollar a staff member hastily gave you the day when the snack machine ate your money and you started pounding the life out of it.

    So why take on more? The key here is to infuse yourself with an emotion other than the one that is crushing your spirit. The key is to be in control of something, something that lifts you up, that sparks your creativity, that gives you satisfaction. Something you own.

    I’m convinced that one of the main reasons I stayed in this profession so long was the freedom to create something (and honestly, nobody gave me that freedom, I just took it). For me, volunteer management sometimes felt like trudging down a long, dark alleyway that eventually opened up onto a fertile plot of ground. I could see the fruits of possibilities taking root there: The trees, the flowers, and heck, sometimes the giant fountain of playful dolphins spurting water in all colors (if I had a really ambitious project in mind).

    Creating a project that reflects your creativity, your passion, your idea of wonder injects hope into your veins. Just go to Disney World with a small child and look into their face. Magic does exist. We just need to find it in something we can call our own. We need to find it when we’re frustrated we can’t place highly skilled volunteers because there’s no pre-designed role for them. We need to find it when we see the possibilities our volunteers can offer our clients to make their lives better. We need to find it when our volunteers want to do more. We need to find it when the daily grind wears us down.

    I recall the rush of emotions at the implementation of new projects. I felt terror, anxiety and doubt. But more than anything, I was exhilarated. And that exhilaration allowed me to view all my other duties in a different light. The mundane or challenging duties lost their power to crush me. And in my new mindset, I was able to find creative solutions to challenges that previously wore me down.

    Successful projects you’ve created give you a new perspective, one in which you are a capable leader. Instead of waiting for some miracle day when everyone recognizes all your hard work, take it upon yourself to show how capable you are. How innovative you are. How committed and talented you are. Don’t wait for overwhelmed staff to give you this boost. Give it to yourself.

    Because feeling like we’re not in control leads to burnout. All those mundane duties rattling around in our heads drag us down. But you know what else drags us down? Knowing, and I mean really knowing that a project, or a new way of engaging volunteers would work wondrously and then not doing anything about it. That’s the most soul crushing of all.

    Sometimes, (not always-I’ve had a few projects fall flat but I learned from them and started another, better one) a new project, one you own with your passionate heart and creative soul can help put that wonderment back into your life.

    It’s ironic. More work = less burnout? Our best hope for encouragement = us?

    Yeah, we may be a sick bunch. Wired a little differently. We lift up everyone else. Let’s lift up ourselves. Let’s take control.

    -Meridian