Pssssst. Guess what? We, leaders of volunteers (through no fault of our own, or wait, let’s be real here. We never even asked for this..) possess an enviable set of life skills.
Hmmmm. So I’m thinking, maybe to offset our low wages, we should
develop an immersion self-help class by charging people to come manage
volunteers with us for a week. Like a “boot camp.” I can see the ad now:
“Volunteer Manager Life Lessons Boot Camp-Volunteer Now For a Boot in Your
Psyche.”
What life lessons should we advertise on the pamphlet? You know,
the life skills that people want and we developed (mainly out of survival mode but we won’t mention that) through
managing volunteers. Just how exactly does volunteer management prepare us for
a productive life?
Volunteer management (VM) forces you to
confront the status-quo: You will learn to rely on your own
expertise and your creativity to navigate a job that is more complex than you
could ever have imagined and were never told when you applied (mainly because the person interviewing you
probably didn’t know either).
VM shows you how to live without envy and look
at the world in terms of concepts bigger than your ego: You
will learn to experience personal gratification from others’ successes and take
pride in seeing others soar. You will honestly begin to experience a profound
shift (almost zen-like) in the way
you view the world.
VM teaches patience and persistence: You
will learn that amazing projects take a long, long, long time and an
unbelievable amount of hard work, even though people may want results immediately.
You will learn to see the interconnections that make projects work and develop
an intuitive eye for creating lasting results.
VM teaches you that not everything is as it
appears: You will learn that every circumstance is unique and can
surprise, delight and sometimes disappoint you, but won’t deter you from being
optimistic. You will learn to probe deeply into people’s motivations for the
keys to being prepared.
VM teaches you that people are complex,
amazing creatures: You will learn to love getting to know people, to hear
their stories and to immerse yourself in their life’s ambitions,
disappointments and triumphs, because you realize this is what makes you human.
VM teaches you that being a martyr is a waste
of time: You will learn that as you become more proficient, people
will expect more and more of you. But you will also learn that being a yes
person prevents you from doing your best work.
VM teaches you the necessity of remaining
neutral: You will learn mad mediation skills and be able to resolve
issues in a respectful, productive manner that honors your mission. These skills
will solidify your confidence in becoming a leader who can keep personal
emotions in check for the greater good.
VM teaches you that real passion is
infectious: You will learn how to use your inner enthusiasm to bring
out the best in others. No phony “rah-rah” types here.
VM teaches you efficient critical thinking: You
will learn to analyze situations and resolve problems quickly. Your busy
schedule will force you to become hyper-efficient.
VM
teaches you that you are more: You will quickly
dig deep within and find that you are stronger, better and more capable than
you could ever have imagined. You are more.
And this is just the “Volunteer Manager Life Lessons Boot Camp”
beginner’s class.
We, volunteer managers (Leaders of Volunteers) are misunderstood. Sigh, tell me something I haven’t heard over and over, right? I’ve bemoaned it for years like an alarm clock set for eternity.
So, in the fault derby of life, who can we pin this misunderstanding on? CEO’s? Non-profit staff? The volunteers themselves for being so darned accommodating? Media? Our parents, for not making us more lovable? The eternal great red fireball that is the mystery of life? (that’s where I pretty much assign blame to everything anywayso take that red fireball).
I’m only going to explore MY experience here. I cannot begin to imagine your experiences nor can I pretend to know your circumstances. And I’m sharing my experience in hopes that it may in some small way give you a perspective on yours.
I can look back now and say with confidence, that it was my fault. Much as I hate to admit it, it was. Why? Because I did not explain volunteers and volunteer management well enough. Not really. Oh yeah, I shook my fist at the sky and preached to everyone I happened upon (funny,they never liked it much when I followed them into the bathroom, still rambling on about volunteer needs, but that’s another story). I did formal educational pieces, pop-up vignettes, wrote emails, and trotted volunteers of every shape and size out (“see, this is volunteer Rhoda, she does so much for us but did you know that Rhoda is also studying biophysics?”) all aimed at “educating” staff on engaging volunteers. It felt like describing the ocean and its ecosystem by bringing in a kiddie pool as an example. Wait, I think I did a post on that….yep, it’s Volunteer Management: A Kiddie Pool or an Ocean. It felt overwhelming. How do you explain something so all encompassing?
But, there was one critical element that I missed and I’m hoping you don’t miss it too. I thought the magic of volunteer wonderfulness was obvious and that my job was to cattle prod others into acknowledging it. By prod I don’t mean physically shaking someone, although my fingers would twitch a lot when explaining for the tenth time that volunteers have lives outside our organization.
Here’s the thing I’ve learned. People don’t like being harped at (shocking, I know). They don’t like being hounded about their shortcomings. Non-profit people are overworked and incredibly busy. Being reminded that you “don’t get it” is an additional wearisome burden. And who responds well to an additional burden? ….(ok, I KNEW you were going to say “we always do!“)
What could I have done differently ? So much. That’s why I’ve spent the past couple of years sorting it out. What I discovered is the basis for my book, “The Disruptive Volunteer Manager.” (I know, it’s a shameless promotion, I suppose).
Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our emotions that we can’t see the logic. We, volunteer managers work in complex human emotions like Reese’s works in peanut butter, so it’s no surprise our own emotions are at a continual heightened state. It’s hard to be empathetic all day long and turn off all those emotions in order to look at things logically. But we have to. For our own sanity. For our ability to get things done. For the good of our programs.
I finally began to turn off my own personal emotions and deal with things in a constructive manner. I functioned so much more efficiently and felt so much clearer for it. It really wasn’t all about me and my tender feelings. It was about advancing the program by separating my feelings from the work.
We have to take the people skills we employ when engaging volunteers and use them to engage our organizations. We have to treat fellow staff in the same engaging manner we use to interact with volunteers. How? By asking the same type of questions we ask when working with volunteers:
What drives staff motivations? (and how can we use that to get our message across?)
How does staff and management best receive a message? (and how can we frame our messages in the way they will welcome them?)
How can we best show the benefits of volunteering? (and show how clients, staff and our organizations benefit from a strong volunteer presence.)
How can we eliminate the us vs. them mindset and forge an alliance? (and establish a workable partnership within our organizations?)
When we look at where our frustrations come from, we then see where we need to enact different approaches. What is your reaction to these challenges?
A volunteer showed up late for an assignment.
The head of fund-raising and events never mentioned the volunteers who worked at the gala, but praised everyone else.
A civic club is dragging their heels on a promise to volunteer.
A staff member suggests that “volunteers are not qualified to work with clients.”
You’ve arrived at a remote location to give a presentation to a large group of potential volunteers and find that the audio-visual equipment they provided does not work.
In a meeting, you present stats on volunteer involvement and the CEO cuts you off because the meeting is running too long.
Ok, for me, scenarios 1, 3, and 5 are annoying. I’d laugh about them later and move on. But 2, 4 and 6……frustrating to the point where I’d let it fester and build up. I’d sneak into the restroom, hunched over and muttering, then come out of the stall and snap, “what are you lookin at,” at the person who just walked in. Which of the above challenges do you think would fester with you and why?
What happens when we emotionally cling to the idea that we are misunderstood? We can suffer from a confirmation bias which means we look at everything for evidence that supports our theory. Any time someone doesn’t praise volunteers becomes an “aha, it’s true, they don’t get it” moment. And this can push us further into feeling underappreciated. Then, our goal morphs into “force them to understand,” versus “help them understand.”
Which of these two strategies would a LoVols (leader of volunteers) employ with a volunteer who was struggling to fit into the program?
Get frustrated and mad. Think about that volunteer at night right before going to sleep and wonder if that volunteer is purposefully trying to make life harder. Fantasize about leaving that volunteer to figure things out on their own while murmuring, “oh yeah, I tried to tell you that you only sign in for the hours you’re here, but noooooo, you don’t think I have anything worthwhile to say!”
Think about how to best reach the volunteer. Ask, what does this volunteer need from me to succeed? How can I best show this volunteer what they need to know so that they contribute meaningful work and reap personal benefits?
Well, if you chose the first one, I’m not sure you are in the right profession.
Leaders of volunteers are passionate people. We are passionate about volunteerism, the volunteers themselves, the possibilities for good to great work and the idea that we can and do make a difference. We want everyone to be passionate about volunteers.
Honestly, it’s head-throbbing trying to figure all this out, isn’t it? Why do we feel we are so misunderstood? Why does every volunteerism conference use a catchy title such as, “It’s Time for a Change” and then we lament that nothing ever changes?
I think we may very well suffer from our own form of the “tortured artist syndrome.” You know, like Vincent Van Gogh. Because I’m no clinician and have no business analyzing anybody, (I was once told by a friend’s therapist to stop practicing without a license, so yeah, I knowI have a problem) I’m going to call it, “the tortured volunteer manager syndrome.”
In actuality, we are artists. We paint in volunteerism. We write in helping others. We sculpt in engaging volunteers to find themselves. We strum the strings of magically pairing human beings to meaning. We design programs from human potential. We perform in possibilities. What we do is an art. It’s not coordination, it’s not traditional management and it’s not easily discernible or explained. It’s the art of volunteer engagement.
Next time: Must we cut off an ear and pump our fists at the sky?
You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along’ …Eleanor Roosevelt
Ok, maybe we, volunteer managers don’t live through horror. (unless you consider that time when that group who asked for volunteer orientation had no AV equipment except an ancient TV so there was no way to show the super duper PowerPoint and then for four grueling hours you had to wing it…) But seriously, do you ever want to go back in time? Are there things you wish you had done differently? Me too.
If I could turn back the volunteer manager clock I would:
Call that volunteer who had to quit because she got sick instead of telling myself that I would get around to calling her.
Be more patient with that volunteer who had so many questions and even burst in on my annual job review.
Not drive that volunteer home that one night. (cause it got real creepy……….. real fast).
Stop that volunteer from talking to the press at that event (or at least tell the reporter our organization had no official position on the mayor’s race)
Not tell that story in front of the CEO about running over a donor’s mailbox when I picked up a donation. (I ran it over with a truck-but I did pick up the letters from the street)
Not get so frustrated with staff who were also overworked.
Keep that volunteer from bringing in their special yummy, homemade tuna casserole, the one that made everyone sick. (I think it was tuna, but then again, it kinda had this weird smell)
Explain volunteer management in better, more impactful ways.
Listen to my inner voice and not let that teen volunteer bring her boyfriend in with her because….(well, I just turned my back for a minute, I swear!)
Carve out more time for me to prioritize and progress.
Not tell everyone in a meeting that I was going back to my home planet. (You had to be there and frankly, any planet except this one seemed better at the time)
Not take a new volunteer to that house where they were engaging in a side business (hey, who knew?)
Not accept that mysterious heavily taped up box at the thrift store…. (I don’t think the stains ever really came out of the carpet)
Sure, we’d all love to go back and make everything perfect, because I believe that we, volunteer managers tend to be perfectionists. (gasp, no, ya think?) We inwardly seek to create:
the perfect volunteer experience for every volunteer.
the perfect client experience so every client is satisfied.
the perfect appreciation so every volunteer feels engaged.
the perfect understanding so our work is valued.
and for the above to be perfect, then we have to be perfect.
But if we were perfect, we wouldn’t learn, or grow or move forward. A cherished friend (yep, one of the volunteers-yeah, yeah, my perfect boundaries are not so perfect) told me that I should be thankful for the experiences that taught me something instead of bemoaning them. How else would I get better?
Volunteer management means every day, we have millions (ok, maybe hundreds) of interactions and experiences. Each and every one teaches us something we can use for the next. That is why our “jobs” are in reality, a continuous journey.
We all wish we could change some things, from having more patience with volunteers to standing up for ourselves in meetings. Past experiences can haunt us. Dwelling on them can prevent us from moving forward. There’s no shame in admitting, “hey, what I did there was far from perfect, but you know what? I’m learning and dang it, I’m getting better.”
Courageous leaders are not perfect. We’re not perfect. I think Mrs. Roosevelt nailed it all those years ago:
With the new day comes new strength and new thoughts…Eleanor Roosevelt
Anyone in volunteer management will tell you: I’m not the same person I was a year ago. No, I’m better. I’m smarter and stronger. And with each passing day full of experiences, I’m learning.”
So, when you wish you could go back and “fix” things, do this instead. Say to your past self, “thanks for teaching me. I’m a better volunteer manager today because of you.”
Do you ever dream you’re playing a game of chess and your volunteers are (wait, you were going to say the pawns, weren’t you-I see where you’re going with this) the pieces? You murmur, “still think our volunteers are sweet,” as you dream you’re capturing the king with your mighty diverse volunteers.
Maybe some volunteers are the knights and others are the bishops and the office volunteers are the rooks. Do you ever lie awake at night and plot your next move? I’m guessing probably not, but let’s ask this question. Should strategy play a part in managing a volunteer initiative?
Well, only if you have a vision for your volunteers. And I’ll bet you do.
We all say things like, “I wish people understood how important volunteers are,” or “I want staff to recognize volunteers on a par with donors,” or “I wish volunteers were treated with more respect and given more meaningful roles.” Aha, you know what? There’s a vision lurking in each of those statements.
Strategy is comprised of the calculated moves that bring you closer to your vision. When we, volunteer managers have unfulfilled visions, we can end up running around in chaos wondering why things are the way they are. Visions are what we strive to accomplish. Strategies focus on how we get there.
Imagine your vision coming true. The first step in seeing your vision materialize is to formulate a strategy. Picture yourself as this genius chess player who skillfully moves each piece with an end game in mind. Each move brings you closer to capturing that elusive goal.
Let’s say your vision is for your organization to utilize volunteer skills in better ways. A tech firm has contacted you and offered pro-bono services. Your organization is hesitant to let these folks into the inner sanctum (they are outsiders) (see Resting on Nonprofit Laurels) so your immediate supervisor says, “Let them do some data entry in finance.”
“No,” your thoughts race in your mind. “Here’s an opportunity to engage some volunteers who bring expert help. Have you actually looked at our website lately?”
Now you could simply offer the tech firm the data entry, knowing that they are capable of doing so much more or you can see them as important pieces in your strategy. What concrete and measurable tactics can I employ with this tech firm to show my organization that engaging volunteer skills is beneficial?
So, you move your pawn and ask them to do minimal data entry to get them in. But then, you move the knight by devising a way to show the benefits this tech firm brings. You ask the firm to do a social media analysis for you. They work up a sample social media campaign that would benefit your organization.
You move your bishop by testing the social media campaign on your volunteers and their friends who overwhelmingly give it positive feedback. You move your rook by reporting to senior management that data entry is going well and the firm is helping reduce the amount of late data by 30%.
And then it’s time to move the queen. You tell senior management that the tech firm is honored to be working with your organization and would love to help further. That’s when you present the compelling statistics on the sample campaign and explain the small to large steps the tech firm is willing to do.
Pawns are the simpler things we sacrifice (like agreeing to ask corporate volunteers to do data entry in the above example) in order to move your vision forward. Your real power lies in strategizing your other, more powerful pieces such as impact reports, feedback, influences and outcomes.
When you create a vision and focus on a strategy, your tactics will fall into place. How do I get to where I want to be? It’s important that we have visions for our volunteer initiatives because it makes us work hard towards elevating our volunteers instead of just working hard.
Strategy has an important place in our profession. The next time you wish something would change, envision it changing. Then focus on creating a strategy to capture it with carefully calculated moves.
It’s that time of year: Hectic. Chaotic. Long hours. It’s not a time for us to step back, it’s a time when our efforts step up.
It’s also the best time to take back some moments for yourself. As volunteer managers, we pour every ounce of energy into making holidays special for the people we serve. We ensure our holiday volunteers soak up the warm moments as we stand in the shadows, sopping up the feels from afar. But this means missing out on the fuel we need to keep going.
I’m involved in a toy drive and the other day a man quietly rolled a girl’s 20″ bicycle up to the door. “Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked. His eyes radiated the joy of giving a girl he never met the gift of childhood.
I stopped what I was doing. He showed me the teal and pink helmet and explained how he realized she needed one or she wouldn’t be able to ride the bike when she got it because of well, you know, laws and safety and all. He recounted how he searched for one that matched the bike’s mad swirl of colors. He told me how he carefully selected this bike and how he envisioned her riding it through her neighborhood.
He ran his fingers over the handlebar and told me he had purchased a three-wheeled bike for another organization so that an elderly person would have something to ride. And oh, he chuckled at his own sentimentality, he made sure the helmet matched.
I needed that. I needed to stop and hear his story. I needed to fill up with one tale that encapsulated all the good in this world. It was like sitting down and opening a sparkling box that contained a map to the why.
Take time to connect, to fill your own hearts with joy. You work so hard all year and even more so at this time. You deserve at least one humble person to tell you their story and for a few chaotic -stilled moments, let you know it’s all right with your world.
We all hate lying. It’s dishonest and harmful. It sucks. But it seems like we are ok with telling ourselves lies because well, we can take it or maybe because we think the truth is too scary to face or maybe we just like messing with our own heads or heck, I’m no psychologist, I honestly don’t know why we do it.
A lot of volunteer managers, myself included have been lying to ourselves for years. And how do these lies manifest themselves? With stress, frustration, passive-aggressive behavior, shutting off, self-doubt. Lying to ourselves is destructive.
So let’s just examine some of the top volunteer manager self-lies and put them to the volunteer manager Truth o’ Meter test. The volunteer manager Truth o’ Meter is foolproof. I know this because I paid no attention when I asked it if I should announce at the volunteer luncheon that “you volunteers should go on strike and hold out until all staff tattoo ‘we couldn’t do this without our volunteers’ on their arms.” Yeah, the Truth o’ Meter was right on that one.
The top 6 lies we tell ourselves are:
“Volunteers need my undivided attention or they will leave.”
“When I can’t provide a volunteer, I’ve failed.”
“If I just give it some time, problems will work themselves out.”
“I have no business asking for resources or a raise or a promotion.”
“I can’t make others see how important volunteering is.”
“No one wants to hear my version of leadership.”
So let’s go over these lies and see why that little voice that whispers in our ear is destructive and wrong.
To #1,”Volunteers need my undivided attention or they will leave,” I’m thinking no. (Well, wait, when volunteer Dottie comes in and recounts her serious accident for the fifteenth time, the one that happened 10 years ago, it’s because she needs to voice her feelings and…woah, there’s that voice again..) No. Stop the voice. Volunteers are with us because they want a volunteer experience that enhances their lives. Enabling long non-productive volunteer interactions (or gabby staff for that matter, am I right?) accumulates and robs other volunteers and clients of your time. We don’t have to hear and invest in every personal story over and over. We can listen for a few moments and redirect the volunteer to their volunteering. The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 89% false.
To #2, “When I can’t provide a volunteer, I’ve failed.” Ok, so sometimes we’re busy doing something else and sometimes we are in a funk or can’t remember the name of that volunteer who told us during that long conversation like the ones in #1 that he played the bongos and now staff wants to get a bongo playing volunteer. Sure, once in a while it’s actually our fault and we can own that, but it’s time to realize that not every task will be filled and that doesn’t detract from the tremendous impact made by our volunteers. The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 98% false.
To #3, “If I just give it some time, problems will work themselves out.” Do we need to talk about avoidance? We can hope all we want that Clarence in accounting will stop calling volunteers “little nuisances” and will see the light or volunteer Ed will stop interrupting staff to tell multiple old elephant jokes, but we’d be wrong. Meeting challenges head-on saves us from bigger headaches down the road. Tactful mediation ensures solving challenges so that all sides can satisfactorily work towards meeting mission goals. The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 99.5% false.
To #4, “I have no business asking for a resources or a raise or a promotion.” Hmm, have you told the CEO she doesn’t know what she’s doing lately? I thought not. Why can’t we ask for a promotion or resources or a raise? We manage a huge amount of human capital that positively impacts people, have mad engagement skills and know our organizations inside and out and have ideas that will work. Yeah, we need to keep our heads down and keep telling ourselves we’re not good enough. The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 99.8% false.
To #5, “I can’t make others see how important volunteering is.” Ok, sure, it’s hard, no, actually it is really hard. There’s so much to engaging volunteers and how do we put that into an elevator speech or a sound bite? But our passion to see volunteers respected will lead to better ways of showing impact and as we all work towards professionalized and elevated volunteer management, it will become more clear. Hang in there for The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 99.9% false.
To #6, “No one wants to hear my version of leadership,” Uh huh. Yeah, why would they? We don’t inspire anyone. We don’t lead volunteers to do amazing things. Nah, who would want to hear that anyway? If your comfort zone (you know the one where fluffy pillows embroidered with “I’m just the volunteer coordinator” lay atop bean bag chairs filled with ‘keep a low profile’ nuggets and ‘no risk zone’ signs adorn the zen green walls) is holding you back, then venture out of it, one toe at a time. Speak up at a meeting, enter into discussions, offer to present some findings and showcase your style of organic leadership. You have so much to offer. The Truth o’ Meter proclaims this 100% false.
There you have it. The top 6 lies volunteer managers tell ourselves has been debunked.
And remember, the Volunteer Manager Truth o’ Meter never lies.
Difficult conversations. We, volunteer managers don’t want to have them, but from time to time, we must. A complaint is lodged against a volunteer and we go numb. This shouldn’t be happening, because well, volunteers are selfless, caring souls who just want to help, right? Won’t we drive them away by reprimanding them?
To make matters worse, what about when a volunteer has an issue with staff and hopes that you will intervene? Our hearts skip a beat. We’ve just spent hours recruiting and cultivating this volunteer, and now we imagine all that time evaporating.
It’s a part of our jobs we wish to avoid because initiating these conversations is uncomfortable. We exist in a world where we inspire and motivate, so correcting is somewhat foreign to us, a skill that needs to be dusted off once in a while.
But, in order to effectively lead a volunteer program, we have to embrace the difficult duties and look upon them as opportunities.
Let’s examine difficult conversations with volunteers and difficult conversations with staff. Are these two scenarios really much different from one another?
So, how do we start a difficult conversation with a volunteer (or staff) after a complaint has been made? And how do we prepare ourselves to have the confidence to do the right thing without melting down into mush? For what it’s worth, here are a few suggestions that I hope help you. Conversations with volunteers appear in non-italicized font and conversations with staff appear in italicized font.
Remember that you are the best person for this challenge:
You have spent countless hours recruiting and cultivating this volunteer. You care about them and will do what is necessary to see them succeed. And leaving them to fail is ultimately more cruel than helping them remain on track. No one will be as sensitive, understanding or able to guide this volunteer as you.
With staff, remember that you are the best person to speak and mediate for your volunteers. You don’t wish to see them quit because you are unable to act, but want to see them succeed and by mediating, you are furthering that goal.
Tip: Keep reminding yourself that by meeting challenges head-on, you are building excellence. You will get through this and be a stronger, more accomplished leader on the other side.
Practice your opening line:
“I wanted to sit down with you today and chat about how things are going,” is fine, but volunteers really need us to get to the point. The more you dance around the topic, the more uncomfortable it becomes for you and the volunteer. It’s better if you state the complaint up front. “Emma, I wanted to meet with you today, because one of the visitors to our museum called us to say that last Friday you were too busy to show their disabled son where the bathroom was located. You are one of our finest docents and have been for over five years now and I want to hear your side of the story. Do you recall this particular incident?”
It’s no different with staff. Add the longer you tiptoe around the subject, the more time is wasted and the more frustrated the staff member will feel. Get right to the point: “Alex, thank you for taking the time to talk with me today about our volunteer Gavin.” (Now, don’t stop here and list Gavin’s great qualities, but keep going and get it out.) “Gavin came to me and voiced a frustration.” (make frustration non-personal, it helps steer the discussion away from emotions and towards solutions ) “He said that he often misunderstands the instructions he’s given and doesn’t feel he can do the job as well as he’d like.” (emphasis is on getting the job done) “I’m here to help fix this so you get the help you need.” (focus on the work)
Tip: With a volunteer, tell yourself to use the exact words of the complaint-unless there are personal insults involved-don’t water the nature of the complaint down because the volunteer deserves the opportunity to respond to the exact charges that were brought.
With staff, you have to frame the complaint into mission specific goals such as “volunteer Deena needs more guidance in order to excel at her job, something she is really committed to doing,” versus “volunteer Deena says you never spend any time with her.”
Don’t apologize for the conversation:
Starting out with “I’m so sorry to call you in for this,” or “I hate that we have to talk about this” creates the impression that your organization’s ethical standards are meaningless.
Same thing with staff. Beginning with “I’m so sorry to take up your time, you know how it is with volunteers,” creates the impression that volunteers’ help is not valuable. Instead reiterate the volunteer’s sincere desire to lend support. “I’m here because volunteer Janus is concerned he is not being the help he wants to be.”
Tip: Remind yourself that being neutral, not apologetic helps the volunteer think and respond more clearly.
With staff, this is an incredible opportunity to stress that volunteers are there to support and further the mission.
Assure the volunteer or staff that you are open-minded and fair but don’t put words in their mouth:
“Emma, we want to hear your side of the story,” or, “Emma, let’s talk about what happened,” is better than saying, “I’m sure the complaint is unfounded,” or “this must be a misunderstanding.”
Same with staff. “I know that volunteers can be tricky,” or “I realize you don’t have time for this, but..” sends the message that engaging volunteers is not worth anyone’s time or effort. Instead, thank the staff member for making an effort to engage volunteers.
Tip: Tell yourself that if the complaint is indeed a misunderstanding, then it will surely become obvious and not to worry. If the complaint is well founded, then you have an amazing opportunity to help this volunteer regain their footing or help the staff member become better at cultivating volunteers.
Don’t diminish the person(s) who made the complaint:
Saying, “don’t worry, this person complains about everyone,” or “they probably just had a bad day,” negates the actual complaint.
It’s the same with staff, don’t diminish the volunteer role.
Tip: Tell yourself that bridging relationships is one of your strong skill sets and seeing both sides validated is a chance to bring both sides together. Ditto with staff.
Allow ample time for discussion:
Here is the area in which you will excel at nice-guy volunteer management. These conversations ebb and flow-but the savvy volunteer manager rides the spoken waves with the recurring message that the volunteer’s time and effort is invaluable and their concerns are worth hearing and discussing, even if their actions are in the wrong.
Same idea with staff-if they need to, let them express their frustrations with time management, heavy workloads etc. Then, seize the opportunity to sell volunteer help. Assure them that your job includes their satisfaction, that you will address and help with any issues concerning volunteer training, performance etc. This is a time to reassure them that you are on their side and are not dumping volunteers on them, but rather, working diligently to get them skilled, committed volunteers who will help and support them.
Tip: Trust your instincts to tell you when you know the volunteer or staff member is satisfied their feelings, opinions and aspirations are validated. That is when you can move forward with a resolution.
Follow up with diligence:
This step takes you from a manager to a leader. Speak with both parties after your initial conversation to ensure that the resolution works for both and that there are no lingering issues. Following up with volunteers and staff shows your commitment to a successful volunteer program, one in which you don’t take sides, but one dedicated to mission centric goals.
Tip: Use your best mediation skills to assure both parties that your goal is to provide the finest volunteer involvement possible and that you believe in each person. Reach beyond emotions and center on the good work being done by your organization. Refer to excellence often, while assuring each person that you believe in their abilities to work with one another. Keep following up periodically until you see the resolution has been met.
We can view difficult conversations in the same way we view traveling to a new place. We can tell ourselves that we will hate the new place by thinking things like “It’s going to be too hot,” “I will hate the food,” “the people are too strange,” etc. That usually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Or, like the person who welcomes traveling somewhere out of the comfort zone, we can entertain the idea that this new experience will help us grow, both as a manager and leader.
Choosing to grow and embrace challenging conversations will strengthen not only your program, but yourself as well. So, while it is perfectly normal to dread a difficult conversation, don’t let the opportunity to excel go to waste.
You’re not the bad guy, or the uncomfortable girl, you’re the leader of volunteering excellence.
Are most volunteer managers introverts or extroverts? Does it matter? Is an extrovert a better leader and better able to influence people? Is an introvert more empathetic and better able to get the best out of volunteers? Should we care?
Sometimes, we need to take an honest look at our personality tendencies in order to understand why we do what we do and how we can become better at our jobs. And by being better at our jobs, I mean not just better for volunteers and our organizations, but also better for our own emotional health so we don’t get stuck in an emotional rut. Understanding our own motivations or personalities can help us analyze our strengths while reviewing the areas that keep us from attaining our goals.
We are the hub of a complicated volunteer system, one swirling around us. How do we manage all the moving parts? Is it better to be an introvert? Or do we need to have an extrovert’s personality?
See if this sounds like you:
You spend a lot of time carefully planning meaningful volunteer roles and carefully interviewing volunteers so you can skillfully place them where they will do the most good
You can easily stand back and let the volunteers shine. You feel proud when viewing their accomplishments
You spend a lot of time cheer-leading your volunteers so that they reap the enormous benefits from volunteering because you see the greatness in them
You don’t manipulate a volunteer meeting with directives; instead you prefer to encourage volunteers to share, to feel part of something awesome and you take to heart their suggestions and concerns
You don’t toot your own horn in front of others and usually try to deflect praise onto the volunteers
You make sure all the volunteers are acknowledged. You run from table to table at volunteer functions, chatting with every volunteer present
You can be lighthearted around the volunteers and enjoy joking with them and seeing them have a good time
Does this sound like you? Then you’re basically an introvert. But wait. You also exhibit extrovert behavior. So are you an extrovert? Well, more likely, you fall under the category, ambivert or outgoing introvert.
The outgoing introvert (OI) is basically an introvert who is social when circumstances call for being social. They enjoy people, especially on a deeper level. For volunteer managers, this means being a terrific host at functions, feeling comfortable with the volunteers, letting small talk beget deeper conversations, wanting to get to know volunteers on a personal level and feeling exhausted from all the emotional attention you spend on others.
Sounds like a pretty great way to be, right?
Especially when you consider how the outgoing introvert (OI) takes the time to position volunteers and volunteer programs for the future. The OIs carefully analyzes situations in order to make the best decisions not only for the organization, but for clients and volunteers.
But since the OI is primarily an introvert, here is where the frustrations can mount up.
They get overlooked…. a lot…. and they can be perceived as not moving fast enough, when in reality they are spending the necessary time to craft solid programs, ones that don’t need retooling later.
Extroverts dominate meetings, dialogue and policies. Introverts struggle to be heard, thinking that their dedication, track record and accomplishments speak as loudly as the extrovert’s voice. Sadly, it doesn’t usually work this way. And since an OI is extroverted when comfortable with the surrounding people (such as volunteers), they may not be comfortable in a staff meeting and therefore, will be less inclined to speak up.
As an introvert with outgoing tendencies, the volunteer manager is more thoughtful and plans for volunteer staying power. The OI volunteer manager pays close attention to each volunteer’s story, questions and concerns. The OI volunteer manager quietly works to enact meaningful volunteer engagement. The OI volunteer manager listens carefully, in order to formulate intersecting paths benefiting clients, volunteers and the organization. The OI volunteer manager sometimes appears awkward and shy and sometimes bold and full of fun, depending upon the circumstance.
The frustrations come in when the introverted volunteer manager side thinks no one else sees what they see. After all, isn’t it obvious to everyone how amazing every volunteer is? Can’t everyone see the beauty in volunteering? How can they not see that time and effort must be taken to assure each volunteer is properly engaged?
Explaining volunteer management is an area where tapping into the outgoing side can help. Since complaining or directing attention to one’s self is not something the introvert is comfortable with, then how can an OI volunteer manager get their points across?
By shifting focus. Think of the passion you convey when approaching new volunteers. You believe in volunteerism, and the mission, right? You convey the power of volunteering without ever feeling like the focus is on you personally, right?
Use that same mindset when speaking in front of your peers. Focus on presenting your volunteer program in the exact same way you present volunteering to prospective volunteers. View yourself as the mouthpiece for a program you know is incredible, just as you know volunteering is incredible.
The introverted volunteer manager side has to feel comfortable in a situation for the outgoing side to emerge. You view volunteers as receptive to your message and perhaps you view staff and upper management as skeptical of your message. Your comfort level can diminish when speaking at staff meetings or with senior executives.
Imagine that your peers and senior management are actually receptive, just like new volunteers and they are looking for inspiring messages, positive steps and motivating presentations from you. Staff and upper management are people too, and just like volunteers, will respond to a persuasive argument, especially when those arguments showcase how it will benefit them and the mission. With emphasis on benefit, your message will be heard.
We, volunteer managers tend to hone our communication skills with volunteers in mind. Applying these same skills to interactions with staff and upper management is really not any different. It’s our comfort level that holds us back. We view staff and upper management in a separate category, one we may not feel empowered to engage.
Speaking confidently about volunteer issues can be a big step for the OI volunteer manager. It’s about removing the personal reluctance hindering our voices and tapping into the outgoing side we use so effectively on volunteers. It’s about focusing on the points we believe deeply in and communicating those points, just as we do with volunteers.
Confidence is infectious and it grows with each usage. The OI volunteer manager skills are already there, having been sharpened by interactions with volunteers. These skills are waiting to be fully unleashed.
We are who we are, personality, tendencies, foibles and all. But, when you start to analyze how each personality trait can aid in attaining your goals, then those traits will work for you, instead of holding you back.
Whether or not you’re an extrovert, introvert or an OI, your people skills bring out the best in your volunteers. These same skills can bring out the best in you, too.
Carlos took a deep breath and regarded Marty, a long term volunteer who stood before him. “Mr. Jansen really wants to visit his son in Philadelphia.” Marty said. “It’s only a four hour trip from here and I don’t mind taking him. We can do it in a day.”
Carlos thought about the organizational policies, trying to recall one that forbid volunteers from driving clients on long trips. “I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, Marty,” he said. “I really don’t know if we should do this.”
Leadership is about doing the right thing, even if it is the hardest thing to do personally and even if it puts you on the spot. As leaders of volunteers, we are faced with doing the right thing every day. We must weigh the right thing for our organizations, for our volunteers, for our vulnerable clients, for our communities and for us.
Being able to say no is sometimes the right thing to do. While our jobs pretty much paint us as the folks who always say “yes,” we must take into consideration the times we are obligated to say “no.” Some obvious examples are:
when a volunteer wants to break policy and jeopardize the safety of himself or a client
when a request for a volunteer puts the volunteer at risk
when a community service volunteer wants you to sign off on hours not spent volunteering
when anyone asks you to embellish volunteer hours
It’s easier to say no when strict policies back you up, or risk factors are obvious. But sometimes we have to say no, when policy is not a factor and the area is gray. Examples might include:
When someone requests a volunteer for a task that volunteers have strongly objected to
When a volunteer wants to initiate a project that will take precious time from mission related work
When you are asked to fill in for a volunteer on your day off and you already have plans
How do we artfully say ‘no?’ If we feel pressured to say ‘yes,’ or are backed into a corner, we might stutter and say something like, “I’m not sure.” A weak ‘no’ is really just a soft ‘yes.’ When saying no, you have to actually say no and not want to immediately take it back.
If you need to, ask for time to think on it. Say, “Let me get back with you on that,” so that you can formulate your response. Getting caught off guard seldom gives you the advantage of putting together a well thought out answer. Remember though, if you don’t get back to the person in a timely matter, they will assume your answer is yes.
Think of all the reasons you have to say no. It’s not because you just feel like being oppositional, it’s because you know there is a better alternative, or you have information the person asking the question does not have. Listen to your intuition and find all the whys that force you to say no, then explain the whys in decisive terms.
Present a suitable alternative. Explain why you are saying no, and offer an alternative. If say, a volunteer wants to bring a friend with them on assignment into a client’s home, you can say, “I’m sorry, but that is against our policy. The reason it is against our policy is because no one who has not been background checked and officially entered into our organization can enter the home of our client. (the why you’re saying no) This applies to staff and volunteers alike. I can offer your friend a path to becoming a volunteer so that he can accompany you on assignments. (the alternative) Let’s talk about how to make that happen.”
Steer the person towards the alternative. If a staff member wants you to find a volunteer for a task the volunteers have repeatedly said no to, you can say, “I will try, but our volunteers have said no in the past so I’m not likely to be able to fill this request. But, we do have volunteers willing to help you in other ways. Let’s discuss the ways they want to be of service and how they can support you.”
Be clear that a no is not personal. Leadership is about the mission and the team. Point out the mission centric reasons you must say no. “I understand that things change rapidly and that now you are asking for five additional volunteers for tomorrow. I will ask one of our experienced volunteers to make last minute calls and I know that every one of our volunteers who can commit, will commit, so you are in good hands. I however, must continue to work on the annual gala which is next week because volunteers are heavily involved and the gala is extremely important to our organization’s outreach.”
There’s a reason these responses sound an awful lot like “professional speak.” It’s because they are. Using professional speak is the way to stop others from viewing you as a lightweight, a yes person, a go-fer. Using professional speak forces others to communicate with you on a mission-related level and not on emotional or personal terms.
Feeling like you can never say no resides on emotional levels. Being able to say no in a professional way resides on logical, thoughtful levels. In order to take control of the conversation, use professional speak that centers on mission centric goals and steer the person away from trying to emotionally manipulate you.
You can put off a conversation until later when you have the time and energy to discuss it with focus. Take the volunteer who wants to initiate a program that takes time from mission related goals. You can say to that volunteer, “that sounds like an interesting proposal and one that you’ve given considerable thought to. I really want to give you my full attention, so can we set aside a time to discuss it when we can really focus on what you are offering?” Then set aside a time when you are not being bombarded from all directions and can thoughtfully discuss any ideas.
Saying no is not a failure on our part. It is actually an opportunity to control the direction of our programs and a chance to steer people towards a better way of engaging volunteers by offering more viable alternatives. When done with tact and professionalism, saying “no” can open doors to a better “yes.”
A strong leader is able to say no in a way that assures everyone that the no means listening carefully, then a negotiation, or a revamping or an alternative. Above all, it indicates a striving for excellence. And that already describes every volunteer manager.
When I attended my first peer group meeting for volunteer managers, there was a moment that stopped me in my tracks. During the break, a few volunteer managers were sharing volunteer stories and I overheard one of them remark, “yes, that happens to me too. One of my volunteers told me that I was so amazing and actually said that my orientation changed her life.”
“Whaaaaaat??????” Poof, my brain exploded.
Their volunteers were saying the exact same wonderful things about them that my volunteers were saying about me. How was this possible? I wasn’t special? I wasn’t the greatest volunteer manager ever? There were, (gasp) others?
What a wake-up call. My little piñata of secret self-importance burst open with one whack of the reality stick. But as I dejectedly swept up all those sweet volunteer comments that were like piñata candy from the floor, I started thinking about what all that meant.
It meant I wasn’t the best volunteer manager to ever walk the earth. It meant my volunteer programs weren’t the greatest thing to happen in the history of volunteerism.
It meant that I was taking my job way too personally. I was personalizing volunteer enthusiasm.
That day, I realized that I was the representative of my organization which meant that I was the face, the voice, the go-to symbol of all the good my organization stood for. The volunteers were praising me because they loved the work.
Because here’s the thing about taking comments too personally. One day we’re buoyed by a volunteer’s glowing comments and the next day we’re dragged down by a careless remark from a staff member who didn’t get enough volunteers for a task. It can become this gigantic disconnect in our heads: How come the volunteers think I’m so great and yet, staff just treats me like I’m on a lower rung?
Becoming emotionally self-absorbed in our work is exhausting and it corrupts the way we view our job performance. Taking everything personally clouds the ability to see the bigger picture. When the work becomes personal, we become guarded and unable to view challenges with logic. We defend more, complain more, and close ourselves off more. We begin to see each positive comment as personal affirmation and each negative comment as hurtful. We lose the ability to see things clearly.
But you know what? Letting go of the personal and instead, representing the mission and the impactful volunteer work is actually so much more satisfying than slogging through all that heavy personal junk anyway. And you get to go home at night.
So, what to do when volunteers tell you that you’re the best thing since sliced bread? Firstly, thank them of course. But their comments can actually present an opportunity to learn more about the things you are doing that are working and going well.
A few follow-up questions can uncover the specific reasons that volunteers gush over you and their work:
“What part of the training did you find so helpful? How did that speak to you?”
“Can you tell me more about why you find this work so fulfilling? What elements of the work are directly impacting you?
“How did the conversations you and I had in private help you become a better volunteer? What exactly did I say that made you feel like you can do this?”
“What words did I use during the interview that made you want to volunteer?”
“What is it about the atmosphere here that makes you feel so productive?”
A comment such as, “I’m so glad I volunteered here, this is the best day ever,” sums up a pinnacle moment that consists of a lot of moving parts. That smile of triumph on a volunteer’s face or their respectful hush when something profound occurs is the culmination of factors working together to make a perfect volunteer moment.
While it feels really good to hear the wonderful compliments from our volunteers, it can also be highly instructive. We already know that asking an unhappy volunteer the specifics of what went wrong helps us to learn and adjust for next time. In that same vein, asking for the specifics of what is going right can also be helpful and give us solid blocks to build upon.
Not being the greatest volunteer manager in the world isn’t so awful. It’s actually kind of nice to know there are lots of them out there.
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