volunteerplaintalk

Category: staff and volunteer relationship

  • Volunteers and the Game of Complaints

    Photo by Keira Burton on Pexels.com

    I’m revisiting an old post from 2013 because Volunteer Appreciation Weeks are upon us and one way we can appreciate volunteers is to give them the gift of loving the mission. And by that, I mean, shielding them from nonsense.

    Volunteers: A head-pat will do

    I remember this incident vividly, because organizations often view volunteers as “our little helpers” and not as members of a professional team. It’s easy to pat volunteers on the head, and toss the “Boundaries and Good Practices for Dummies” book aside when dealing with volunteers because, hey, they are so cuddly (codeword-ignorant and therefore, harmless), they don’t need to be treated with anything resembling….intelligence and professionalism.

    A few years back, I sat in a meeting with long-term, respected volunteers Darla and Jo, and the supervisor of their department, Cindy. I was shocked when Darla and Jo brought out a list of complaints against Kay, their immediate supervisor. They hadn’t brought any issues to me before this meeting, so I was a bit skeptical, especially when they produced a list of Kay’s shortcomings, including how she treated staff unfairly. (Hmmmmmmmmmm)

    Volunteers: Professional team or pawns?

    During the conversation. Darla and Jo mentioned they often went out for drinks with a couple of staff members under Kay’s supervision. (Really?) And those staff members shared their difficulties with Kay. (Well, how convenient) So, what that means is, when out socially, away from work, these staff members let loose and talked about the organization and other employees in front of volunteers, drawing volunteers into the politics of their department. (What a great way to make volunteers feel part of the team, right?)

    In private, I said to Cindy, “It’s a terrible idea for staff to socialize with select volunteers and air grievances. If staff is going to invite the volunteers to a function, then they’d better invite all of them and they’d better not make the volunteers pawns in some personal battle with their supervisor.”

    So, Cindy, who is the supervisor of all in question, shrugged and said, “they’re on their own time, what can I do?” (Really? How would you like it if the CEO invited a couple of staff members out for drinks and they trashed you?) (oh, and then enlisted volunteers to file a complaint?)

    Go on record…really go on record

    I then said. “I’m going on record as saying that allowing staff members to fraternize with select volunteers on off time and discuss work issues makes for a harmful work environment and should be stopped immediately.” (And, I will be noting this conversation for the time this all goes south, which we know it will.)

    Taking care of the volunteers is everyone’s business, not just the volunteer department’s. Write a policy that says your employees will treat volunteers with respect and will not suck volunteers into conflicts. They don’t deserve that. (And this chess game is what you get. It won’t resolve itself on its own.)

    I had a volunteer who helped me in my office. From day one, I said to her that “it’s not that I don’t want you to be privy to things, it’s that I don’t want you to be burdened with junk. You’re here to do good work and you deserve to be shielded from the nonsense.”  She took that to heart and ever after, when I had a conversation with someone in front of her and it got a bit deep, she excused herself before I had a chance to, and she laughingly said, “I don’t need to be a part of this.” (Bravo to her!) But, you know what? She knew staff had political conflicts, personality clashes, and sometimes back-stabbing incidents, but she chose not to become embroiled in them, which lead to more love for the work.

    Let volunteers love the mission

    The question becomes, “for whom does our volunteer volunteer for? Um, the organization, right? But often, volunteers’ loyalties can be steered away from the mission and to select staff or other volunteers. This is why boundaries exist; to ensure volunteers are connected to mission impact and not to any cult of personality borne from feeling sorry for or loyal to one or more individuals.

    So, when staff thinks they’re being nice or cute or they just want some pawns in their game of complaints, they need to realize that fraternizing might be great for them, but it’s always a bad idea for the volunteers. Let the volunteers see the greatness of the organization, not the back room where stuff is all chaos and disjointed and frankly sometimes back-stabbing. And if staff want to grouse about their jobs, then make sure that volunteers are left out of it.

    -Meridian

    and here’s the old post

  • Resting on Nonprofit Laurels

    Resting on Non-Profit Laurels
    courtesy of gratisography.com

    I don’t remember the date, but I remember the conversation. It was the first time I’d heard the word “competition” in relation to volunteer organizations. I was in a community meeting and nonprofit experts were discussing the impact of a newly formed non-profit in the area.

    “They’ll be looking for the same resources,” one expert said.

    “Yes, we now have competition,” another added.

    Huh, competition. That’s one way to look at it. But here’s the kicker statement from the CEO of one of the established titan organizations. It’s a statement that stuck with me. “I wouldn’t worry too much, because we’ve been in this community for years and the public knows us and knows we care.”

    I might add that the start-up organization did very well.

    Do established nonprofits have a monopoly on compassion? Or on knowledge on how to solve societal challenges? I have always suspected that the underlying reason volunteers are not fully integrated is because they are seen as outsiders. By that I mean there is this nonprofit clutching to caring and knowledge as if volunteers or donors are cat burglars and they are sneaking in to try and steal it away.

    I have always suspected that this is the reason volunteers are not requested by senior management nor included in planning. You know what I’m talking about, right? You introduce a highly accomplished volunteer to senior management and you get that look. That subtle grind of the jaw that says, “who is this interloper and what will they discover, or take from me or change?”

    I remember being so excited about a volunteer, Serena. She was taking a year off work and staying in town with her mom. She came from a prestigious marketing firm in New York and I couldn’t wait to get her started helping our marketing team as a volunteer consultant.

    But they didn’t engage her. They didn’t even grab a cup of coffee and sit down with her to explore the treasure trove of experience she was willing to share. They simply sniffed and said there wasn’t that much for her to do. They clung to their area of expertise like it was a chest of gold and marauding pirates were landing.

    I’ve heard nonprofit staff disparage corporate volunteers, dismissing them as “not understanding what we do.” But, you know what? Some of these corporate volunteers exhibited more compassion on their one day of volunteering than some staff members showed all month.

    Society is rapidly evolving. What used to be exclusively in the realm of the nonprofit and even faith-based sectors is now front and center. Corporations are practicing “conscious capitalism.” Individuals are creating foundations (Bill Gates is a prime example) to tackle societal challenges. Citizen helpers are bypassing volunteer organizations.

    This is a quote from an eye opening article posted by Cureo on a philanthropic Millionare’s rant.

    They never ask me to help in ways that don’t involve a check? I know, I’m not going to volunteer at their race, but I’m sure there are other opportunities for me to help!

    And believe me, I have offered a number of times. I’ve asked for more frequent, and more relevant data. Maybe I can make new connections. Maybe I can assemble a volunteer team of some of my super talented staff to riff on a problem or deliver a solution of some kind — in areas of marketing, HR, capital projects, operational expansion — whatever!

    What are we so afraid of? That we’ll lose control? That we might not be as smart as our corporate counterparts? That we’ll admit we need help in planning and executing, not just in stuffing envelopes? That we’ll actually put our mission ahead of our own personal need to be the most compassionate person in the room?

    Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve had these feelings too. I remember sitting in a peer group meeting and listening to another volunteer manager talk about a successful volunteer initiative and I felt jealous. Not inspired, not happy that people were being served. How selfishly insecure of me. I remember mentoring a new volunteer coordinator and feeling that twinge. “What if volunteers like him better than me and then, gasp, I won’t be the most loved volunteer coordinator ever to roam the earth!” (I still have that fantasy picture in my head-yeah, I know, seek help)

    You’ve heard the term, “founder’s syndrome.” It generally means a non-profit founder keeps their non-profit from growing by clinging to power. We don’t have to be founders to suffer from treating our work like it’s our baby and we are the only one who can sing it to sleep.

    Maybe we proudly wear the shiny sweat on our foreheads from having labored for so long at being selfless that we can’t imagine some giggly newcomer bouncing in and outperforming us. Maybe we cling to a martyr notion that caring people work for non-profits while the rest of the selfish world drowns baby animals for money. Maybe we suffer from “Non-Profit Insulation Syndrome.”

    But these insulating emotions keep us from learning something new, from moving forward, from expanding and from finding better ways to help the people we profess to help. And sadly, we become the kid in the sandbox who won’t let the other kids try the best toy truck. A very wise volunteer scolded me one day, arguing that my self-esteem had nothing to do with anyone else but me. (I fired him on the spot-just kidding)

    That’s when I began to detach myself from other people’s talents and discovered what my job really was about. Was a volunteer more compassionate than me? Heck yeah. Did another volunteer coordinator create a much better program than me? Good grief, yes. Was there any place for clinging to a warped sense of my own need to be perfect? No. (I’m still roaming the earth, though)

    We should actually be excited that more people want to get involved. We should be opening doors for them, eager to share the joy we clutch. But what I fear is, the nonprofits who rest on their laurels and continue to close their doors to all this amazing outside help will be left behind.

    I fear that cornering the market on compassion or empathy or knowledge will cause generous donors like the one quoted above, skilled volunteers and philanthropic businesses to give up or find another way. I fear they will leave us behind, raising our fists to the skies and bemoaning the unfairness of it all.

    And then, again, maybe that’s what needs to happen.

    -Meridian

  • Is Making Volunteers Likable Our Objective?

    black haired man in white crew neck t shirt
    Photo by YesManPro on Pexels.com

    I remember my first days as a volunteer coordinator. There was this one volunteer, Addie. She was a tiny, fit ball of northeastern, direct confrontation, piercing eyed judgmental “I’ve been here since the forefront” terror. Staff couldn’t stand her. But she roamed the halls wielding her trusty sword “Gotcha,” slicing apart our ineptness. She was your crusty grandmother, your 87-year-old history teacher and your noisy neighbor all rolled into one, and oh, with a grip of steel. I know because she would grab my arm to make a point. Yep, I still have phantom bruises there.

    I danced lightly around her. Although staff didn’t like her, she was, I thought, untouchable. They didn’t ask that I do anything about her, so I figured their eye-rolling was the way we dealt with disliked volunteers. After all, she’d earned her right to be a disruption, to be tolerated, to interpret our policies as anything that suited her purpose. She was, (da da daaaaahhhh) emeritus!

    So, what crippling reasons cause us to hide under our desks instead of addressing volunteer behaviors?

    • Lack of specific policy indicators? (for example, policy states theft or inappropriate language is an offense. Policy doesn’t include arrogance or chatty-ness as an official offense)
    • Fear that delivering feedback to a volunteer will be misinterpreted as criticism and the volunteer will quit?
    • Our general fear of confrontation?
    • Volunteer status, such as emeritus? Or staff seems to “put up” with volunteers?
    • Our belief that volunteers are giving of their time, so we should be more accepting of their behavior?
    • The perception that a volunteer is older, wiser, more accomplished, more educated or skilled than we are?
    • Our belief that our jobs are no more than coordination?

    The above reasons hold power over us, power that cripples us and prevents us from truly leading volunteers. How can we then make adjustments so we don’t simply going to continue to sidestep situations that can be remedied?

    The first step is to prioritize the why. Why is this volunteer here? We know there are multiple underlying and nuanced reasons, all of which we take into consideration when matching volunteers to assignments.

    But what is the primary, down to basics reason a volunteer shows up? To complete a task, or fill a role that furthers the mission they believe in. How is this being accomplished?

    Taking the focus off of staff’s and volunteer’s personalities allows us to examine the work being done and by doing so we can analyze how behaviors are affecting work quality.

    Communicating mission focus to everyone, staff and volunteers alike, lays the groundwork for intervention. How do we do that?

    In volunteer orientation or onboarding, emphasize the expectation of excellence. While creating a welcoming atmosphere, stress the importance of volunteers being able to fit within a busy organization. Illustrate the enormous workloads put upon staff. Make clear that while staff appreciates volunteers, the work is most important. Ask your most productive volunteers to speak to and hopefully mentor new volunteers.

    Create policy that gives you an opportunity to mediate. Although we obviously can’t write policy for every little behavior, especially if behavior is opinion based. (one staff member believes a volunteer chats too much) We can, however include six month probationary periods, infractions for inappropriate behavior and the specific understanding that it is in the power of the volunteer manager to determine fit. Fit means that a volunteer’s performance will be evaluated on fit within a specific department and the volunteer can be moved to another position. (This is a two-way street; it also protects the volunteer from being stuck with very demanding or uncooperative staff)

    Communicate your commitment to supporting staff. Before placing a volunteer, speak with staff about your readiness to intervene if a volunteer is behaving in ways that hinder production. Get the idea out in the open that your focus is on helping staff be more productive and you are leading volunteers, not simply placing them.

    Ditch the idea that volunteers will stay because we are nice to them. Instead, remind yourself that volunteers will stay because they are doing work that is meaningful and in order to engage in meaningful work, behavior must align with mission centric goals.

    Bravely follow-up and be willing to intervene. Feedback is not always criticisms that will drive a volunteer away. Mediation means taking into consideration the needs of both sides and finding solutions that best benefit the organization. Being on top of situations ensures that volunteers are valued, not tolerated. Ask both sides questions that direct them towards accomplishments, such as “what path do you envision us adapting to increase our survey input results,” or “what small thing right now will help us improve our client satisfaction?”

    Be willing to be a leader who can do the hard stuff. Just because a volunteer is emeritus, or wiser, or more accomplished does not mean that you are their subordinate. Your volunteer program is a reflection on you. In your organization, are volunteers valued or are they simply considered a necessary nuisance? Are volunteers given juicy tasks or are they relegated to boring minutia? With courageous leadership comes respect for the program.

    Educate staff on working with volunteers. Humanize the volunteers. Stress their character and commitment to the mission. Emphasize their desire to help staff, not hinder them. Highlight volunteer accomplishments with a caveat to staff who embraced them. The more we make staff feel as though they “have to accept volunteers,” the less they will actually accept them. Instead, as leaders, we need staff buy-in and it takes some staff ego massaging to get that buy-in.

    Listen to other volunteers. If volunteers are complaining about a volunteer’s behavior, or worse, quitting because of behavior, there’s a clear problem. How many good volunteers are we willing to lose because we would rather not engage in mediating destructive behavior?

    And most importantly, act quickly. Intercepting a problem before it becomes messy and unmanageable will keep those sleepless nights at bay. Regularly surveying staff and volunteers can unearth budding challenges. Following up on those challenges early gives a higher rate of successful mediation versus allowing patterns of behavior to cement. And, by showing your commitment to creating an excellent program, your leadership value will exponentially rise.

    By focusing on mission goals, we can more clearly see the big picture. Mediating and creating volunteer fit has the following tremendous potentials for a huge return on that investment.

    • More satisfied and engaged volunteers
    • Staff who will champion volunteer engagement
    • Openings to more volunteer roles
    • More recognition for volunteers
    • Respect for the volunteer manager voice
    • More leverage for negotiating new programs, ways to integrate volunteers or eliminating outdated volunteer roles

    While confronting behavioral disputes is down right hard and uncomfortable, we will reap enormous results by bravely tackling this challenge. Each successful attempt at mediation will move the needle closer to a professional and more respected volunteer program.

    Leading is doing the challenging stuff well. It gets easier once you burst that tension bubble and see how satisfying it is to get results.

    After all, we’re not volunteer coordinators who shrug because staff doesn’t seem to like volunteer Addie. We are leaders of vibrant, contributing volunteer programs.

    -Meridian

     

     

     

     

     

     

  • When Staff Doesn’t Like a Volunteer Part 2: A Success Story

    adult art conceptual dark
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    What happens when staff doesn’t like a volunteer? Does the volunteer quietly quit because they never get called or do staff begrudgingly put up with a volunteer they dislike and work suffers? What can we, the volunteer program leader do in these situations?

    A leader of volunteers, who is a good friend and colleague recently shared this experience with me:

    I remember one of our volunteers, Steven. Staff would run the other way when Steven came in because Steven always had an idea or a plan to improve our organization and the way we operated. It would frustrate already overworked staff to listen to all these critical ideas.

    But what they didn’t know about Steven was he would take the assignments other volunteers wouldn’t take. He actually volunteered for a lot of shifts, ones that needed filling. He was both annoying and indispensable at the same time.

    It was exhausting, knowing how dependable Steven was and yet being frustrated at his frequent sharing of plans to improve our organization. But then one day, a solution came in a most unexpected way.

    A staff member, Allie who was in charge of a large project involving the creation of a detailed cataloging system needed volunteer help. The assignment meant working in a basement on a very cranky machine. Most volunteers wouldn’t want to tackle such a cumbersome project in a dingy basement so I thought of Steven. I asked my boss if I could approach him with the proposal and fortunately, she agreed.

    The staff member in charge of the project was willing to give Steven a try so I approached him, saying, “look, Steven, saying no is ok. I’m asking you to work on a temperamental machine in a basement here, but it is crucial work that needs to be done.”

    To my surprise, Steven replied, “I would love to do that.” And the interesting thing that happened, was Steven got to see behind the scenes at our organization and by working directly with staff, began to realize how little time they had for all these ideas and projects he had been pushing on them.

    I knew that pairing Steven with this assignment was a success when all on his own, he recruited another one of our volunteers to help with the project. I even overheard him one day pipe up when hearing a group of volunteers grouse about how slow it was taking to get an answer to a question and say, “you don’t realize how busy the staff is here.”

    With Steven I knew that I could either sit back and just let him drive me crazy or I could understand how much he cared about the mission. I realized his complaints and ideas came from his desire to support our mission, not from some need to complain.

    I remembered something I heard from a very wise peer that stuck with me: “That one unhappy worker might be the lone voice in the wilderness telling us something we need to hear. We need to ask: Why are they miserable? Maybe, they have a point.”

    When dealing with complaining volunteers, we have to examine whether or not it is the message or the way it is presented that irks us. And staff must realize that a volunteer’s role is not to make staff happy.

    Just as every staff member needs direction from their supervisors, volunteers need direction from the person supervising them. We can’t expect volunteers to read our minds, so as leaders of volunteer programs, we need to train staff and show them that volunteering is a two-way street. That’s where the successes lie.

    So, from this experience, we know we can salvage a staff/volunteer relationship that has soured. Let’s look at the volunteer manager toolbox and pick out some tools that work in these types of situations:

    Mediation: One of the most important tools a volunteer manager possesses. Stepping back and thinking about three basic things helps us to mediate.

    1. What is the best outcome for our mission?
    2. How will volunteer A satisfactorily arrive at the outcome?
    3. How will staff member B satisfactorily arrive at the outcome?

    By focusing on outcome, (a capable volunteer and a reasonable staff member will find a way to work together to further mission goals) we can then create a mediation plan.

    Look for the interests of each party. For a volunteer, it may be they believe they have good ideas and need to be heard. For a staff member, it may simply be they need quiet time to get their work done. How then, can these two interests be addressed to the satisfaction of each party?

    Picture a continuum: On one end the staff member would give the volunteer complete attention at all times. On the other end the volunteer would work in silence at all times. Begin to move the ends toward the middle-what would that look like? Maybe staff could spend 5 minutes with the volunteer when they arrive and update the volunteer while listening to any new thoughts. Maybe the volunteer could be instructed to bring all new ideas to the volunteer manager who would present the ideas in official ways.

    The point is to craft the movement of the two sides towards one another, keeping the mission as the goal.

    Story crafting: A skill that serves volunteer managers well. In the above Steven story, our volunteer manager deftly created a story. By thinking of volunteers and staff members as stars of a story, we can more clearly ‘write’ the ending in our heads. We can envision ‘reading’ that volunteer Steven was paired with staff member Allie which resulted in a mutually beneficial relationship. It helps us to step back from the situation and look at it logically with a positive outcome or ending in mind.

    Another use of story crafting is to present each side in mediation with the story of the other side’s point of view. Telling Steven how much work needed to be done was a story meant to educate him on the enormous work load on staff. Telling Allie how volunteer Steven would take assignments no one else would take was a story meant to inform Allie that Steven was committed to getting the job done.

    Positive identification: The tool volunteer managers use daily. Let’s look at Steven’s success story. How did staff view Steven? They saw him as a hypercritical, over-simplifying volunteer who continually offered up unwanted ‘solutions’ to problems that either did not exist or were being addressed in other ways. What did they not see? They did not see Steven’s passion for the mission, his willingness to help in any manner, nor his desire to more fully understand organizational workings.

    Tapping into volunteer’s motivations will yield clues to their behavior. Maybe the needy volunteer just went through something tragic and is hurting. Maybe the talkative volunteer is isolated. As volunteer managers, we can humanize our volunteers so that staff sees them as more than just temporary help. We can highlight the volunteer’s character by sharing the positives we witness. Sometimes our humanization needs to use the word ‘but.’ For example:

    Volunteer Millie lost her husband of 45 years a few months ago and is a little raw but she is so grateful for her husband’s care that she is committed to learning our system so she can further our work. She wants to be a help to us, not a burden.

    Volunteer Asher lost his job due to cutbacks but he is passionate about helping end hunger and actually considers this an opportunity to make a difference in the world. He says he feels privileged to learn from our staff.

    Matching: The volunteer manager tool that is always sharp. By pairing Steven with staff insiders, he was able to see first hand how overburdened staff were. He was able to integrate into the bigger picture and thus became a champion for not only the mission, but for the very staff that had rebuffed him before. And by choosing a staff member who was willing to work with Steven and most likely had a personality that would benefit Steven, our volunteer manager made a successful match.

    Now here is the really interesting part in all of this. Experts say that behavior is the outward expression of attitudes, but that if behaviors are modified, attitudes can change. Look at the Steven example. His attitude changed. And as his behavior changes, staff’s attitude towards him and possibly other volunteers will slowly change as well. So, if we can mediate behavior changes in staff and volunteers, we may just end up with attitude changes.

    Next time: Part 3. Laying the groundwork for volunteer engagement that takes into consideration personalities, character, attitudes and behavior.

    -Meridian

  • When Staff Doesn’t ‘Like’ a Volunteer

    adult art conceptual dark
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    Mimi talks. A lot. About herself, about her trips, and about her grandchildren. She talks about the cashier at the grocery store who had surgery last month and now is having some pain in her side. It’s all harmless chatter, but staff roll their eyes and avoid Mimi when she volunteers. They don’t want to be around her. They don’t really like her.

    But Mimi does her work well. She inputs survey results accurately and efficiently. She’s dependable. She’s smart, and because she’s smart, she sees staff embracing other volunteers, and she wonders why staff seems to avoid her. After all, it’s about doing good work, isn’t it?

    All volunteer managers face the challenge of a capable volunteer who is not liked by staff. Staff scatters when this volunteer arrives. Staff tries not to interact with this volunteer but warmly welcomes other volunteers they like.

    Often the situation is no more than staff reluctantly putting up with the disliked volunteer. Staff may knowingly smile and say, “well, that’s just the nature of working with volunteers,” or may grumble to you in private. Or they may request that you not call  “volunteer Harvey, the one who complains a lot.” And sometimes, staff can push back and isolate the volunteer, lobby to get rid of the volunteer or find faults where none exist.

    It begs these questions: What effect does a volunteer’s behavior and attitude have on their role? Is it different from employees’ roles? And, how far does this behavior scope reach?

    We’ve all had to work with a fellow employee we dislike. But because that employee was on the payroll, we were forced to figure out how to work with him/her. We couldn’t just say, “hey, I don’t like Chenelle, so I’m not dealing with her.” Nope, Chenelle was going to be there, day in and day out so we were left to find a way to work with one another. Figuring out a way to work alongside fellow employees is expected behavior.

    It’s different with volunteers. Volunteers are free to come and go and they’re not volunteering 40 hours a week. (if they are, that’s a whole separate bucket of trouble) They can quit, or take a leave of absence at any time. We, volunteer managers make this fact clear so we can advocate for good volunteer treatment as a retention strategy.

    So, then it isn’t a stretch to take this idea (volunteers are transient and unfettered) a step further. If we expect staff to understand that volunteers will come and go as they please, why shouldn’t staff feel as though they can pick and choose whom they wish to work with because, “hey, you said volunteers come and go as they please?”

    The plea that staff must accept volunteers, work with them and make their experience pleasant makes little sense to them when paired with the idea that volunteers are temporary or fleeting or unfettered by paid positions. The reality is, a staff member is stuck having to get along with a fellow annoying staff member. They’re not so stuck getting along with an annoying volunteer.

    What does your organizational policy say about working with volunteers? Does it mirror policy on working with fellow staff? Most likely it does not. Maybe it says something broad like staff will respect volunteer help. It probably doesn’t make clear that staff will be held responsible for retaining volunteers. And so, disliked volunteers can and will be treated as a temporary nuisance because figuring out a way to work alonside volunteers is not expected behavior. Expected behavior is on the volunteer manager, who is expected to provide volunteers that don’t require any extra work from staff. 

    Where does that leave us then? Back to recruiting volunteers over and over because personalities are intertwined with volunteer success and we must find “non-annoying” volunteers?

    We can rant all we want about the unfairness of treating volunteers differently from staff, but we have to remember that we highlight volunteer uniqueness by reminding staff that volunteers are with us by choice. It’s a conundrum, one worth exploring later, but we need to deal with individual scenarios now. So what to do?

    This is an area in which volunteer managers will utilize every mediation skill they possess. It can be as draining and nuanced as trying to make the haughty family cat “like” your grabby 4 year old niece.

    The first step is to identify the behaviors making staff cringe. What is it about the volunteer that annoys the staff? For many, if not most cases, you, the volunteer manager will already know, because the offending behavior probably annoys you too. Some common offenses are:

    • talking too much
    • sharing or foisting political, religious or other world views on everyone
    • arrogance or criticisms in a patronizing way
    • inappropriate remarks
    • joking constantly
    • pushing to socialize outside the workplace or sharing personal problems
    • arriving late

    Maybe you cringe too, when this volunteer arrives. Maybe you find yourself checking your watch when this volunteer is talking to you. Maybe you find it difficult to “sell” or defend this volunteer to staff.

    But what if this volunteer does a really good job? What if they have mad skills or knowledge and potential? How do we mediate behavior so staff will respectfully work with this volunteer?

    Our first step is to pinpoint the annoying behavior with concrete examples. We can and should include behavioral identification questions when gathering feedback from staff. In addition to questions crafted around the volunteer’s work, we also need to ferret out any potential problems due to behavior. Some behavior questions can include:

    • When volunteer Amy is working in your department, do you see any behaviors that inhibit her ability to get the job done? (she’s often late to the job)
    • When volunteer Juwan is here, does he exhibit any behaviors that impede your ability to get your job done? (He asks too many questions and I can’t concentrate on my work)
    • Does volunteer Stuart fit in with our culture? What behaviors does he exhibit that support your opinion? (He often talks about his religious beliefs) or.. (He always asks how he can help)

    Behaviors are concrete actions and therefore much easier to identify, pinpoint and address than attitudes.

    A volunteer’s attitude is inferred by his/her behavior. A volunteer who talks too much or jokes or complains may appear to think that staff time is not valuable or the work is not important. A volunteer who makes patronizing comments can be seen as someone who is arrogant and condescending. A volunteer who shares personal issues will appear to be “needy” and self-involved.

    These perceived attitudes make the volunteer unlikable.  And that’s where we come in with all of our nuanced mediation skills.

    How do you deal with a disliked volunteer?

    Next time: Part 2, a success story and the volunteer manager toolbox.

    -Meridian