I met Jake one cold winter day when he came to our volunteer orientation. He continuously looked at his hands and shifted in his seat. He didn’t speak up when the other new volunteers answered questions. Instead he watched quietly from his space.
When orientation was over, I looked forward to interviewing the new volunteers one on one. It helped to know them away from the group setting. I didn’t know what to expect with Jake.
He came into my office and sat down. The air was charged with his story and I pretended that his hesitation was common among new volunteers. Then he began to talk.
There’s a great deal of research and evidence that volunteering increases well-being. It staves off loneliness, offers a life of purpose, aids in skill building, wards off dementia and boosts self-confidence. But there is another aspect to volunteering beyond well-being. It’s a form of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of golden joinery. It recognizes the beauty in broken things. Kintsugi is the art of rejoining broken pieces and dusting them with gold powder. The broken when fixed, becomes more beautiful.
Jake was broken. And through his volunteering, he pieced himself together with dazzling golden powder. He was a phenomenal volunteer who found a way to believe in himself by believing in others.
He worked his way into taking tougher assignments. He built himself up again, one volunteer day after another until he had a supportive group of volunteer friends and had clients who depended upon him because he was dependable again. His broken pieces became a different, but new whole.
We are privileged to witness a human Kintsugi in a few of of our volunteers. Their broken parts take on a luster from the golden dust we offer them. And the interesting thing about Kintsugi is the golden repair’s meaning stays with those who gaze upon the new work. Jake’s journey to repair resides within me, a golden nugget that I can roll between my fingers when I need it.
I know you’ve had broken volunteers and I know you’ve seen them heal. Their fractures are a part of their makeup and history and what makes them beautifully empathetic and able to connect.
So, the next time you gaze wistfully at one of your once broken volunteers, see the shimmer of gold that fills the spaces in between and know you’ve had a hand in the repair.
It’s that time of year: Hectic. Chaotic. Long hours. It’s not a time for us to step back, it’s a time when our efforts step up.
It’s also the best time to take back some moments for yourself. As volunteer managers, we pour every ounce of energy into making holidays special for the people we serve. We ensure our holiday volunteers soak up the warm moments as we stand in the shadows, sopping up the feels from afar. But this means missing out on the fuel we need to keep going.
I’m involved in a toy drive and the other day a man quietly rolled a girl’s 20″ bicycle up to the door. “Do you think she’ll like it?” He asked. His eyes radiated the joy of giving a girl he never met the gift of childhood.
I stopped what I was doing. He showed me the teal and pink helmet and explained how he realized she needed one or she wouldn’t be able to ride the bike when she got it because of well, you know, laws and safety and all. He recounted how he searched for one that matched the bike’s mad swirl of colors. He told me how he carefully selected this bike and how he envisioned her riding it through her neighborhood.
He ran his fingers over the handlebar and told me he had purchased a three-wheeled bike for another organization so that an elderly person would have something to ride. And oh, he chuckled at his own sentimentality, he made sure the helmet matched.
I needed that. I needed to stop and hear his story. I needed to fill up with one tale that encapsulated all the good in this world. It was like sitting down and opening a sparkling box that contained a map to the why.
Take time to connect, to fill your own hearts with joy. You work so hard all year and even more so at this time. You deserve at least one humble person to tell you their story and for a few chaotic -stilled moments, let you know it’s all right with your world.
I remember my first days as a volunteer coordinator. There was this one volunteer, Addie. She was a tiny, fit ball of northeastern, direct confrontation, piercing eyed judgmental “I’ve been here since the forefront” terror. Staff couldn’t stand her. But she roamed the halls wielding her trusty sword “Gotcha,” slicing apart our ineptness. She was your crusty grandmother, your 87-year-old history teacher and your noisy neighbor all rolled into one, and oh, with a grip of steel. I know because she would grab my arm to make a point. Yep, I still have phantom bruises there.
I danced lightly around her. Although staff didn’t like her, she was, I thought, untouchable. They didn’t ask that I do anything about her, so I figured their eye-rolling was the way we dealt with disliked volunteers. After all, she’d earned her right to be a disruption, to be tolerated, to interpret our policies as anything that suited her purpose. She was, (da da daaaaahhhh) emeritus!
So, what crippling reasons cause us to hide under our desks instead of addressing volunteer behaviors?
Lack of specific policy indicators? (for example, policy states theft or inappropriate language is an offense. Policy doesn’t include arrogance or chatty-ness as an official offense)
Fear that delivering feedback to a volunteer will be misinterpreted as criticism and the volunteer will quit?
Our general fear of confrontation?
Volunteer status, such as emeritus? Or staff seems to “put up” with volunteers?
Our belief that volunteers are giving of their time, so we should be more accepting of their behavior?
The perception that a volunteer is older, wiser, more accomplished, more educated or skilled than we are?
Our belief that our jobs are no more than coordination?
The above reasons hold power over us, power that cripples us and prevents us from truly leading volunteers. How can we then make adjustments so we don’t simply going to continue to sidestep situations that can be remedied?
The first step is to prioritize the why. Why is this volunteer here? We know there are multiple underlying and nuanced reasons, all of which we take into consideration when matching volunteers to assignments.
But what is the primary, down to basics reason a volunteer shows up? To complete a task, or fill a role that furthers the mission they believe in. How is this being accomplished?
Taking the focus off of staff’s and volunteer’s personalities allows us to examine the work being done and by doing so we can analyze how behaviors are affecting work quality.
Communicating mission focus to everyone, staff and volunteers alike, lays the groundwork for intervention. How do we do that?
In volunteer orientation or onboarding, emphasize the expectation of excellence. While creating a welcoming atmosphere, stress the importance of volunteers being able to fit within a busy organization. Illustrate the enormous workloads put upon staff. Make clear that while staff appreciates volunteers, the work is most important. Ask your most productive volunteers to speak to and hopefully mentor new volunteers.
Create policy that gives you an opportunity to mediate. Although we obviously can’t write policy for every little behavior, especially if behavior is opinion based. (one staff member believes a volunteer chats too much) We can, however include six month probationary periods, infractions for inappropriate behavior and the specific understanding that it is in the power of the volunteer manager to determine fit. Fit means that a volunteer’s performance will be evaluated on fit within a specific department and the volunteer can be moved to another position. (This is a two-way street; it also protects the volunteer from being stuck with very demanding or uncooperative staff)
Communicate your commitment to supporting staff. Before placing a volunteer, speak with staff about your readiness to intervene if a volunteer is behaving in ways that hinder production. Get the idea out in the open that your focus is on helping staff be more productive and you are leading volunteers, not simply placing them.
Ditch the idea that volunteers will stay because we are nice to them. Instead, remind yourself that volunteers will stay because they are doing work that is meaningful and in order to engage in meaningful work, behavior must align with mission centric goals.
Bravely follow-up and be willing to intervene. Feedback is not always criticisms that will drive a volunteer away. Mediation means taking into consideration the needs of both sides and finding solutions that best benefit the organization. Being on top of situations ensures that volunteers are valued, not tolerated. Ask both sides questions that direct them towards accomplishments, such as “what path do you envision us adapting to increase our survey input results,” or “what small thing right now will help us improve our client satisfaction?”
Be willing to be a leader who can do the hard stuff. Just because a volunteer is emeritus, or wiser, or more accomplished does not mean that you are their subordinate. Your volunteer program is a reflection on you. In your organization, are volunteers valued or are they simply considered a necessary nuisance? Are volunteers given juicy tasks or are they relegated to boring minutia? With courageous leadership comes respect for the program.
Educate staff on working with volunteers. Humanize the volunteers. Stress their character and commitment to the mission. Emphasize their desire to help staff, not hinder them. Highlight volunteer accomplishments with a caveat to staff who embraced them. The more we make staff feel as though they “have to accept volunteers,” the less they will actually accept them. Instead, as leaders, we need staff buy-in and it takes some staff ego massaging to get that buy-in.
Listen to other volunteers. If volunteers are complaining about a volunteer’s behavior, or worse, quitting because of behavior, there’s a clear problem. How many good volunteers are we willing to lose because we would rather not engage in mediating destructive behavior?
And most importantly, act quickly. Intercepting a problem before it becomes messy and unmanageable will keep those sleepless nights at bay. Regularly surveying staff and volunteers can unearth budding challenges. Following up on those challenges early gives a higher rate of successful mediation versus allowing patterns of behavior to cement. And, by showing your commitment to creating an excellent program, your leadership value will exponentially rise.
By focusing on mission goals, we can more clearly see the big picture. Mediating and creating volunteer fit has the following tremendous potentials for a huge return on that investment.
More satisfied and engaged volunteers
Staff who will champion volunteer engagement
Openings to more volunteer roles
More recognition for volunteers
Respect for the volunteer manager voice
More leverage for negotiating new programs, ways to integrate volunteers or eliminating outdated volunteer roles
While confronting behavioral disputes is down right hard and uncomfortable, we will reap enormous results by bravely tackling this challenge. Each successful attempt at mediation will move the needle closer to a professional and more respected volunteer program.
Leading is doing the challenging stuff well. It gets easier once you burst that tension bubble and see how satisfying it is to get results.
After all, we’re not volunteer coordinators who shrug because staff doesn’t seem to like volunteer Addie. We are leaders of vibrant, contributing volunteer programs.
I’m convinced. We, Leaders of Volunteers (#LOVols) hold in our hands more power to affect positive change than we can even imagine.
We have the opportunity to impact the world beyond filling tasks and adding to our volunteer base. The intuitive feelings within each of us are spot on: There’s so much more going on than our excel spreadsheets show.
I remember long ago struggling to find volunteers who could be with clients while loved ones attended church or synagogue or temple or mosque. I would look for volunteers of that same faith and hoped that they would be willing to give up their own attendance to help someone in need. It was the way it had always been done and it was frankly, exhausting.
Then one day, a volunteer stepped forward. Hannah offered to sit with Christian clients on a Sunday morning. (I’d love to take credit for thinking this solution up, but, no, it came from this wonderful, selfless volunteer.) Bam! The light went on.
I feared that mixing faiths (or cultures, or beliefs) would be a challenge in itself, but you know what? (Of course you know what comes next) It ended up uniting people in mutual respect and a desire to understand one another. The mere act of reaching across a cultural or spiritual divide created its own sense of wonder.
And here’s the thing. For the volunteers, it was never about, “oh, I’m so enlightened that I want to transcend these differences.” No, it was, “you know what? I’m free on a Sunday morning and you need someone, so what could be a better fit?”
The deep meaningful by-products of volunteering are seldom the initial goals. They just naturally evolve because the volunteer ripple brings out the best in everyone: Clients, families, volunteers, volunteer managers, staff, neighbors, community, everyone.
Think about that. Volunteer programs impact society in rippling positive ways beyond the delivering of meals, or escorting a tour group or passing out information. Our programs share love. Our programs open the doors for unity, connection and understanding to naturally take hold, and not just during holidays.
We often witness a profound change in people. We glimpse moments of powerful interconnection through the simplest of assignments. We stand, watching that small pebble create ripples of inspiring stories.
As you are running around this holiday season, scrambling to fill tasks, stop for a moment and think about the societal change you are helping to bring about. Because you value the innate worth of each human being and believe in their ability to transcend, you are spreading that change like a ripple in a vast sea.
Volunteerism is a rippling movement.
And leaders of volunteers are tossing the pebble into the water.
Do volunteer managers possess the skills required to succeed in the corporate world?
I recently had the pleasure of interviewing Sally Garrett, a recent leader of volunteers who has taken a managerial position in the world of retail. Sally was the manager of a St. Vincent de Paul depot, an Australian branded “Vinnies” retail thrift store, the highest grossing and net profit store in Western Australia while under her leadership.
VPT (volunteerplaintalk): Can you briefly describe your current job?
S (Sally): My Current job is as a Retail Manager of a lifestyle super store with 26 paid staff.
VPT: How long have you been in this position?
S: I have been here 1 month.
VPT: Before this position, what was your job as a volunteer manager?
S: I ran a large not for profit processing and pick up depot and retail outlet.
VPT: How long were you in that position?
S: Two and a half years.
VPT: What skills do you feel you developed as a volunteer manager and how did they translate to the position you now have?
S: The biggest skills I developed are empathy, patience, organizing people, time management and being able to teach others that they are more than they believe they are.
VPT: What skills helped you the most in moving into your new position?
S: I guess because I had been rostering and managing large volumes of people all doing small roles, the biggest skill that has helped me in my new role is patience. You can’t rush volunteers and you develop a skill of being able to step back and look at the bigger picture all the time, so it became a habit to stop, look and listen. This has helped so much in my present job, because as I have a lot to learn, I am not at all overwhelmed. I am much more rounded in my approach to my team and I listen a lot more and act less, but it’s action with conviction. This means when I do act, it is for the long-term and not the short-term.
I have already found that many people can sort out problems for themselves and become self autonomous rather than needy. I can quickly detect when people are good at what they do or need better training because I’m watching them and listening. I’m not trying to learn their job so much anymore, but placing acknowledgment in what they can do. This has made my new team feel more confident and then their skills began to shine.
The second skill is having learned to not take credit for what others do, but rather celebrate their gifts and achievements. I don’t feel the need to own others’ successes. I have developed the ability to lead, not manage.
The third, most important skill is that I don’t take anything personal. I am impartial to people because I know it is about them not me, and every action someone takes says things about them, not me. So, if someone is frustrated they may call me names or tell me I am not doing my job but this translates into the fact that they are telling me they need more training and are feeling overwhelmed or vulnerable. This took a long time to learn. I always thought I was doing things wrong in this situation until a volunteer pointed out to me that the other 120 people loved what I did and felt supported, so once this skill kicked in it just meant going back to basics and taking time for a cuppa and a chat and getting to the real problem which was 100% of the time the person left feeling vulnerable for some other reason.
VPT: When you accepted this new position, did you find that your volunteer management experience helped you get the job? Any actual feedback from your new supervisor on your volunteer management experience?
S: When interviewing for the position I applied for, I was calm and confident as I knew I had become a leader and not a manager so the interview process was easy and effortless. I had nothing to prove; they either wanted my skill set or they didn’t. If I wasn’t a good fit, I didn’t want to be there.
I was asked to take on a much larger role than I applied for in the interview; the position was in another shop as they felt I would be of value in that role with a larger team and a busier store. As it turns out I came across as soft and compassionate but with a deep knowledge of people. This is what progressive organizations want. They don’t want bosses anymore, they want team leaders and that’s what you are as a volunteer manager.
VPT: Are there skills that volunteer managers lack, or do not realize are important if they are seeking jobs other than in the world of volunteerism?
S: Acknowledge your value!
I believe a volunteer manager is much more qualified at team leadership than anyone gives them credit for, including themselves. It is a huge task being a volunteer manager and when in the role it doesn’t feel it is that important, but you touch the very core of people when they are a volunteer. Because they aren’t there for money, you find out more of what makes people tick so translating that to paid staff roles, you are able to make your staff really feel cared for when they come to work.
You have developed an ability to shut the work-space out and make eye contact and listen to them and answer their questions. whether it be personal or work related. You have developed the ability to validate people, and that’s what our world needs more of. You are also able to adapt quickly because volunteer management deals with absences regularly. You know how to get work done with few, if any help. Acknowledging the confidence that you know it will get done when the team is there, gives you a calmness and that drives people to help more and work harder. People love that you are in control and that you appreciate their efforts rather than stressing and then making them feel less when they are giving more. All volunteer managers develop this skill.
VPT: How can volunteer managers prepare themselves to enter the world of corporate management?
S: Be the very best version of yourself, it’s really that simple; being authentic and not promising things you can’t deliver, the rest falls into place. When you develop the calmness of self-confidence, you can learn anything; the skill of managing people is the highest of all skills you need in life and work and you have that in the bag once you are a successful volunteer manager.
VPT: Is there any advice you would like to give your fellow volunteer managers?
S: Give them (volunteers) 15 minutes undivided attention and induct, induct, induct!
Make sure when your volunteers start, you have given them your time whether it is 15 minutes at the start or the whole induction if you can, that time is what the volunteer remembers, because volunteers revere you; they know how hard your job is and they see you as their guiding light. If you only knew how powerful you are you wouldn’t worry about a thing. But that’s where volunteer managers are the most successful. We don’t settle for second best because it always has to be the best. Aiming for the stars on every task is what we do. Landing on the moon is not good enough for us, but it’s great to everyone else.
Know you are saving lives! There is a high number of volunteers that are volunteering due to mental illness preventing them from holding down a paying job. Know that you are potentially providing the healthy, stable and compassionate environment that these people need to gain new skills and give their life purpose. It surprised me to be told on three occasions that it was because of me, personally that three people got up and tried again another day rather than ending their lives. It both shocked me and made me seek help myself to understand my role more fully. The knowledge of each person over my time in Volunteer Management truly made me see how I changed lives and how powerful and responsible my role was and how important it was to be transparent in all I did. I had to understand that it wasn’t my responsibility to take this knowledge on board personally and that it was only a part of the role. But the knowledge was confronting and it changed my dealings with people. Compassion isn’t being weak, it is the exact opposite.
Relax more and stress less, develop the ability to tell people they can do it on their own. Softly, gently encouraging and convincing people they are wonderful and able, is the greatest skill ever. It is the most productive management tool in the workplace.
What incredibly inspiring words for leaders of volunteers. Thank you Sally for sharing your wisdom and experience with us. All the best to you in your new position. They are very fortunate to have you on board.
So, the next time all of you volunteer managers feel under appreciated, remember these words from Sally: I was asked to take on a much larger role than I applied for in the interview; the position was in another shop as they felt I would be of value in that role with a larger team and a busier store.
“It’s one of those universal truths,” Desmond sighed. “I can tell my children how brilliant and wonderful they are, but it never really sinks in until one of their teachers or coaches say it.”
It’s kinda true. When a relative says you’re great, well, they’re a relative, right? They have to say it, sorta like they have to show up at your graduation and yawn through the speeches while you endure all the cheek pinching.
But when a non-related member of society says you’re great, like a teacher or coach or crabby neighbor, then those praises really mean something. That one person who looks you in the eye at a particular moment and tells you that you have worth can change an entire lifetime of self doubt. That person might be the violin teacher, or physical therapist or volunteer or……. volunteer manager.
Every day, volunteer managers are changing the perspective of people who volunteer. Every day, we look at the value of the human being in front of us and encourage the qualities and talents we observe. It’s our jobs, but it’s so much more because oftentimes you have no idea that you have changed someone’s perspective. Oh, you might have an inkling now and then. You may be honestly praising someone when you see a spark, and as your words of encouragement travel deep into that volunteer’s soul, you see the clouds of self-doubt part for an instant. Yeah, it’s that moment that you cherish.
What we say and how we treat our volunteers, no matter how brief our encounter, has a lasting effect on them and ultimately on us. (We get to fill up our knapsack of positive energy by the cultivation of others)
Every day, a volunteer manager tells or shows:
A struggling student that they are smart and capable.
A shy introvert that we hear them and their opinions are valid.
A stressed out parent that they’ve done a good job because their child is a pleasure to work with.
A person feeling worthless that clients adore them.
A hesitant comic that their joy is infectious.
A disheartened creative type that their ideas are inspired.
A mother who wonders whether she’s more than a bottle washer that she is brilliant.
A broken-heart that love is all around.
A grieving soul that they are surrounded by gentleness.
A beaten down worker that their contributions are valuable.
A lonely person that they are not alone.
A rejected artist that their creations are appreciated.
A dispirited job seeker that their skills are needed.
A lost person that they don’t have to walk alone.
Volunteer managers are individuals who can and will literally change another person’s perspective. How amazing is that?
So, just remember, especially when you look at your hectic day and wonder what it all means and what you have accomplished…
“I took over from a really nice older lady,” volunteer manager Meghan says, “but one thing I couldn’t understand is why she kept all these reports and sign-in sheets from meetings that were two and three years old. I shredded those in an attempt to keep a cleaner office. Then one day we needed to find a volunteer log from a couple of years ago. I had to admit that I got rid of it.” Meghan’s eyes got bigger, “I mean, what were the chances that we would need it?”
Oh, the stacks and stacks of paper we create. Information on prospective volunteers, sign-in sheets from meetings, policies reviewed, applications, surveys, new volunteer interviews and volunteer logs are just some of the records kept in volunteer management. But are they necessary?
For years I was teased about my “pack rat” behavior and folks laughed at my bookcase full of binders that held all the signatures and information I gathered. The binders were in addition to the personal files on past, present and future volunteers that were kept under double lock and key in several file cabinets. These files included background check results, addresses and phone numbers.
Did I need it all? Most of the time, no, but once in a while, it proved pretty handy,
So here are just a few of the occasions when my “pack rat” binders helped out.
Lawyers for a family needed access to care center front desk sign-in sheets to see if a prohibited family came to visit a client.
A volunteer was reprimanded for breaking new policy. She claimed she and other volunteers were never informed until the policy she signed at a volunteer meeting was produced.
The executive director wanted to know if his neighbor actually came to a volunteer informational session.
A new volunteer insisted that she came to an advanced training but remembered that it was a meeting when shown the sign-in sheets for that training.
Auditors arrived unexpectedly and requested proof of volunteer trainings. (the actual signatures of volunteers)
Odd stats concerning volunteers were needed to apply for a grant application.
A representative from a group of workers that volunteered wanted to know who actually signed in so that they could recognize those employees at the annual company picnic.
Newer volunteer reporting systems have replaced many of the old binder systems. But the point is, the proof that signatures provide may just come in handy one day. Keeping records of meetings and asking volunteers to sign new policies help keep track of those who are and those who are not yet informed of important regulations. And if a volunteer does not attend an important informational meeting, then a copy of the meeting minutes and policies can be mailed or emailed to the absent volunteer with a request of acknowledgement. (and a friendly encouragement to ask questions or give feedback so that you can explain those regulations).
While reports and sign-ins may not be flashy volunteer management, they do serve a useful purpose. Signatures are legal proof that you have done your due diligence when it comes to the proper training, conducting educational meetings for and providing necessary information to your volunteers.
It’s no easy day when you have to prove something and you cannot. Binders and folders on hard drives do not take up that much room.
Besides, when the CEO wants to know if her second cousin once removed was informed of the new dress code, those boring but carefully maintained wall of signatures will give you the answer in a pretty impressive short amount of time.
“Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” …C.S.Lewis
When John approached Emma about nominating her for a volunteer award, she adamantly shook her head. “No way, no. I don’t want the recognition. I don’t do this for any praise, I do it because it’s the right thing to do.”
“I know, Emma,” John replied. “But you are perfect for the award. I know you can win.”
Nominating a volunteer for a local, regional or national award is a big deal. We all know volunteers who deserve recognition and ironically, the ones who embody the spirit of the awards are the ones who don’t want the “fuss.”
So, how do we convince deserving volunteers to let us nominate them and should we bother with it anyway? Is winning an award something we should boycott on principal or does it have a place?
You know the volunteer who immediately comes to mind when thinking about nominations. You happen to peek in on them and they are quietly doing the most amazing work. As you watch them, you envision the entire room as a bridge, constructed by an unassuming volunteer who is changing the life of the person they are helping, one plank, one suspension wire at a time. You wish you could capture that perfect scene in a bottle or at least on film, so that you could show it worldwide. “Here!” you would shout, holding up the moment. “Here is the perfect piece of volunteering. This is what it is all about!”
Perhaps awards are not exactly what we are aiming for, but if they are an avenue to tell a volunteer’s story, to shed light on our volunteers’ accomplishments, and to galvanize others, then awards can serve a purpose. And explaining that to a reluctant volunteer just might convince them to allow you to tell their story.
“Emma,” John continued, “I know that you are not an attention seeker. Your work speaks for itself. “But if telling your story can inspire others to step forward and volunteer, wouldn’t that be a worthwhile thing?”
“I just don’t want to do this for the wrong reason,” Emma returned skeptically.
“I agree wholeheartedly,” John agreed. “We’re not going to make a big fuss. We just want to show others that volunteering impacts our clients in the most profound way. I know that telling your story will do just that.”
And so, with the assurance that a nomination was for reasons that would never include self-promotion, Emma agreed to allow her exceptional story to be told. She not only won, she caused others to get involved.
A very wise person once told me that the secret to nominating volunteers for awards is to find the “angle.” What sets the volunteer apart? What obstacles has the volunteer overcome by volunteering? What has the volunteer done to initiate change, improve a program, or solve a problem? What about this volunteer’s story must be shared with others?
But nominations can also be written to influence people. By hearing amazing volunteer stories, potential volunteers can seek an opportunity to be part of that incredible bridge building. And many folks just might want to join a group of “award-winning volunteers.”
Nominating volunteers can:
Elevate volunteers within the organization
Demonstrate the importance of volunteer involvement
Show the volunteers that they are valued
Inspire potential volunteers to join
Gather stories highlighting the impact of volunteers
Although most volunteers shy away from the spotlight, their compelling work can often motivate others to step forward.
And if awards can work for us, then let the nominations begin!
With his permission granted, I want to share a song written several years ago by Michael Becker, a talented singer and songwriter who strove to capture the connections volunteers make with folks suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Mike spent many years not only volunteering with people at end of life but also inspiring new volunteers to follow their hearts. I’ve been humbled witnessing Mike playing his song for patients, caregivers, family members and volunteers who quietly relate to that difficult journey through memory loss. As Mike says, “I’m just grateful to be able to share my experiences through my music.”
“What do you get from your job?” A friend asked me recently as we sat swapping family hijinks over coffee. I thought maybe she was asking if I got vacation pay or bonuses or perks like a giant curly slide in the hallway. (yeah, like that would make us all more compassionate). No, I admitted, there are no rumpus rooms, no gourmet foods or fancy water stations and video games for us who work in charities.
Perks for us are not measured by sporting event tickets or flexible hours. (for us it’s more like flexible hours mean our families have to be flexible). So, what to tell my friend? Well, how can I explain the personal heroes that I get to know and work with? Not to downplay wonderful staff, but the volunteers we get to work with can be heroes not only to our organizations and clients we serve, but to us as well. They are our flesh and blood perks.
I think of volunteers like Gretchen, who has always treated my children like a surrogate Grandmother. See, both of my children’s Grandmothers died when they were young, as well as one Grandfather, so Gretchen was sometimes the only Grand parenting they enjoyed. Gretchen would remember conversations with each one and would inquire about the smallest of details while giving sage advice and encouragement. I also think of my friend Tammy who has a volunteer Quinn who has helped her move several times in the past few years. Quinn comes out no matter if it’s raining or late or if she needs an extra truck or if there’s a sleeper sofa to be moved. (Did you ever lift a sleeper sofa? It’s the worst-I managed a resale store for a bit and sleeper sofas scared me like the approach of a zombie horde)
But then I also think of volunteers who are personal heroes because I’ve been privileged to witness their character.
Kris suffers from deep debilitating depression, but pushes herself to help others, because as she says, “I won’t let this illness keep me from making someone else’s burden lighter.”
Marvin wears a cad pump which dispenses pain medication. He was almost killed in a devastating car accident but survived and endured excruciating surgeries. He tends to shrug off his misfortune by focusing on others. “I have to live life,” he says, “and I have to mean something to someone.”
Years ago, Bella’s eight year old daughter went missing. She was found three days later, the victim of an accidental drowning in a retention pond near her home. Bella quietly told me that the three days not knowing where her daughter might be was ultimately worse than her death. I can’t even begin to imagine either horror. Bella works with victims of trauma, and has turned her experience learning to survive in the cruelest of realities into helping others with similar pain. “I’m not going to just hurt all the time. I’m going to make a difference,” she says fiercely.
Rod was born with two deformed hands. His childhood was spent alternately trying to fit in with the neighborhood kids or trying to recover from the ugly jeers. He has forged a great life and always feels more fortunate when helping someone else. “You can’t concentrate on the things you don’t have,” he says simply, “you have to concentrate on the things you do have, and you’ll see. You have much to be grateful for.”
I’ve met so many volunteers who are inspirational, in the way they view life, in the way they overcome, and in the way they strive to quietly serve and make the world around them better.
Jan, whose body is now failing her due to age, just shrugs off the aches, pains and limitations thrown at her daily. “That’s why they made canes and walkers!” she declares with a laugh. “I’m not done yet!”
Manuel, whose wife died so young carries her picture in his pocket. “I’m doing this for her,” he says. “For how much I loved her.”
Ramon, who was a CEO and on surface could have been aloof. “I never instituted a rule I would not follow myself.” He said. “I need to focus on others, their pain, their journey and be for them what they need me to be or else, who am I?”
While cool places to work have ping-pong tables and on site gyms (does our running around all day count?), we have a different perk. We get to make daily trips to our own local Bodh Gaya where we are enlightened by the wisdom of profoundly experienced people. Even though I sometimes fantasize about having a juice bar or maybe just not having to pack my lunch again, I wouldn’t trade for that in a million years. I can get my own flavored water. I can visit a park with my grandchild and lumber down the slide. I can buy my own sports tickets and join a gym.
Wisdom and purpose don’t come in free lattes for everyone. They come from years of seeking and humbly being a student of others’ life lessons. So I will tell my friend, “My perks come in sitting at the feet of knowledge and inspiration.”
Hopefully, some of that knowledge will find it’s way into my soul.
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