volunteerplaintalk

Tag: nursing home

  • Can We Reject a Volunteer?

    Rejecting a Volunteer
    courtesy of https://gratisography.com/

    We need volunteers. We say as much, in ads, to staff, to other volunteers and to the woman behind us in line as the barista makes our coffee. So, how can we justify rejecting anyone who steps forward and raises their hand? Because, as much as we want every person who even mutters the word “volunteering” to succeed, we need volunteers who will make a positive impact on our missions.

    What do you do when someone applies to volunteer and you realize they will not work out? Do you practice avoidance because you’re a nice person and nice people don’t reject other people, especially to their faces? Do you accidentally lose their paperwork? Do you string them along by saying “every job is closed right now due to an internal audit and I’m not sure when the jobs will open back up so hang in there,” in hopes they will get tired of asking?

    Or do you accept them and just hope the problems won’t be too big? Do you keep them so close that they’re practically an extension of you and then you fall behind on deadlines? Do you place them with great volunteers, hoping constructive influence will remake them?

    Ok, I’m not proud of it, but at one time or another, I’ve actually used every one of the above “strategies.” And, yes, you guessed it, every one failed. These strategies failed because they were not sound to begin with.

    We, volunteer managers are often faced with difficult choices, ones made more difficult because we are working with volunteers. Unlike an HR department that hires staff, our situation is much different in these ways:

    • Unlike staff, we do not have a limit on number of volunteers we can accept, so it becomes much harder to turn away a volunteer.
    • Qualifications for volunteering are viewed as much simpler and broader than for staff.
    • There is this perception surrounding volunteering that anyone who offers their time is already fit for the job, which is a complete opposite of the perceptions of staff hiring.
    • Unpaid work is viewed as simple, easy and can be done by anyone.

    Perceptions of volunteers and their contributions hinder our ability to be choosy, but we must. We are responsible for providing volunteers who positively impact our missions. But there’s another reason to be choosy. As we advance our volunteer engagement programs, we have to tighten up our methods for maximum impact and move away from being overwhelmed by unproductive ends.

    The first step in finding solutions is to examine our own objections to having a difficult conversation with a potential volunteer. The difficult “rejection” conversation is different from having a talk with an existing volunteer (see Difficult Conversations with Staff or Volunteers) in these ways:

    • We don’t know the potential volunteer as well as we know an existing volunteer.
    • We haven’t given the potential volunteer a chance.
    • We’ve work hard to recruit the volunteer and now we’re rescinding that invitation.
    • We don’t know the approach that works with a volunteer we barely know.
    • We feel like we’ve failed because our recruitment strategy didn’t capture the perfect person.

    We can’t keep using avoidance or risky strategies. Those counter intuitive strategies waste everyone’s time and create ill feelings when our goal is to create positive relationships. And we can actually create a relationship with a rejected volunteer.

    The first thing we need to do, is to stop using the word “reject.” Reject is a harsh word, meaning deny, eliminate and dismiss. Instead, let’s look at reshaping the potential volunteer. Let’s view every person who comes to volunteer as our chance to create organizational advocates. Not everyone has to volunteer to become an advocate. Heck, one-time volunteers or people who tour your office can be advocates.

    Volunteer managers excel at building relationships and rejection just doesn’t fit our style. Once you rethink rejection as potentially building a relationship, then prepare yourself to “reshape” the prospective volunteer by:

    • Reminding yourself that not all people will fit the volunteer role, but all people can be advocates.
    • Reassuring yourself that your goal is to create an advocate, not a person who feels mistreated because of avoidance strategies.
    • Giving yourself permission to feel disappointed, but assure yourself that you are a proactive leader who is finding the best solution for all.
    • Reminding yourself that it is more cruel to set a volunteer up for failure than it is to find an alternative solution from the start.
    • Viewing the opportunity to mold your engagement program.

    We, volunteer managers are not comfortable rejecting volunteers so let’s stop looking at it in this way. We want everyone to excel. But not everyone has to excel in the task boxes our organizations have created, so it is up to us to invent new boxes.

    If we develop a volunteer engagement system that allows for avenues, reshaping becomes much more palatable for us and for the new advocate.

    A very dear colleague used to use the phrase, “let’s part as friends,” when turning down a job applicant. We can take that one step further and say to any potential volunteer who may not be right for a particular task, “let’s advocate for a cause we believe in.”

    Next time: Systems in place to turn a rejection into a reshaping.

    -Meridian

     

     

  • Gobble, Gobble, Good God I’m Frazzled!

    pumpkin2
    Willow, a new volunteer manager for a small organization providing aid to the homeless population in her town, answered her phone the day before Thanksgiving. She had spent long hours that week, organizing and recruiting volunteers to help prepare the annual meal held at a local high school auditorium. Exhausted, her brain overloaded, she tried to muster up enough energy to sound human on the incoming call.

    The caller identified himself as Harry, the coach of a soccer team consisting of 15-year-old boys. “I’d like to get these boys involved in helping others,” he told Willow. “We’d like to come out and feed the homeless tomorrow.”

    Willow felt a throbbing in her forehead. “How many players are we talking about?”

    “Not the whole team, mind you, about 7 or 8.”

    Tears filled her eyes like the bubbles in a natural spring. The volunteer slots were set in stone. It had taken every fiber of her new volunteer manager being to accomplish that. She was bone weary and wondered, why did this man wait until now to call? How could he think that there was no coordination in putting together something so incredibly complicated? Why does no one understand?

    It’s happened to all of us. Often, people call at the last moment to help, especially at holiday times. After it happens, you begin to expect it and it is incredibly frustrating to have to tell a group of willing helpers that they are not needed because they procrastinated or called on a whim. They are, after all, potential volunteers. Granted, most might never volunteer again, but there’s always that little voice in our heads that sneers, “there goes a group that might just have been the greatest group of volunteers known to man. And you denied them. Tsk, tsk.”

    So, what to do if you are not able to just dust off those last-minute potential holiday volunteers? If you feel that a part of your job is to give people the chance to experience the deep, satisfying joy in volunteering, then you will feel a twinge of guilt or sadness when having to refuse someone, even if they called too late. We all know that holidays bring out the desire to help and that each “drop in” volunteer might become an advocate for our organizations.  Can we accommodate those late comers without making the holidays a nightmare for ourselves?

    Yes, there is a way. It’s not perfect mind you, but it’s better than feeling overwhelmed and guilty at the same time. And it takes implementing now.

    So that the future you is not caught in a holiday trap, prepare for the season right now. Before the holidays creep up on you, create some projects that last-minute folks can do. Don’t save the work that must be done but be ready with some extra projects that are off premises and not in direct contact with clients. (No background checks needed). You can invite these one time volunteers to become official volunteers at a later time.

    Start now by asking everyone in your organization for fantasy projects. Ask, “If you had 3 or 5 or 10 volunteers over the holidays, what could they do?” Does marketing fantasize about hundreds of distributed holiday flyers? Does the thrift store secretly salivate over a huge deep cleaning and resorting for the season? Does finance have a tired office that cries for a fresh coat of paint? Is there a corner where an extra decorated tree would look lovely? Do you partner with other agencies and can you ask them if they have projects? I’ve always been able to find a nursing home that was extremely grateful for some extra help during the season.

    You can also create your own meaningful projects. Go to social workers and ask if they have a family that needs Christmas presents because of financial need and then create a “gift tree” with the ages and sizes of family members on paper ornaments. Buying a gift for someone who is going through a tough time is a very satisfying introduction to volunteering. Don’t be afraid to create a project in which the participants will have to spend a bit of money. That never seems to matter.

    One time volunteers can certainly write holiday cards and wishes to older clients or children. They can have a card writing party off premise. Ask a willing volunteer to attend to explain how much these cards mean to your clients. The point is to be creative. You know the difference between meaningless work and projects that can actually enhance the holidays. Have an extra tree to decorate, or paper place mats to color (good for youth groups to do). Ask your existing volunteers if they would be willing to mentor a group when necessary. Stock up on craft supplies now.

    Then, when someone calls last-minute, instead of having to say, “sorry, but there’s nothing I can give you,” you can invite the late comers to get their feet wet by tackling a small but worthwhile project. If the latecomer says no, at least you offered something. I’ve had folks tell me that my organization was the only one  who even tried to place them. That good feeling can translate to future volunteers.

    You, by virtue of being a volunteer manager, take care of everyone around you. Take care of yourself this holiday season by preparing now for those inevitable 12th hour but sincere calls to help. Your future self will thank you.

    -Meridian

  • There Are No Shortcuts

    two pathsThere’s one thing every volunteer manager knows. There are no shortcuts to volunteer management. Nope, no easy path, no automatic pilot, no kick back and let it go. No, we actually put some effort into matching volunteers with assignments. Yep, we actually go so far as to try to get as much information on the assignment so that we can not only find the best volunteer, but also to make sure the 80-year-old volunteer who just had knee surgery doesn’t end up standing hours in the hot sun at a health fair.
    We trust our instincts, and our instincts tell us not to take shortcuts, to check, recheck, and then follow-up. It’s called retention, or self-preservation, because if you put some good up front work into volunteers, you hate to lose them because they were given bad directions and instead of arriving at a client’s house, they end up at the wrong house where a “deal” is being made and then they are never seen or heard from again, but their car is fished from the lake three days later.
    The shortcut path of just simply handing volunteer Dave an assignment is fraught with pitfalls. One or two “what am I supposed to be doing, exactly” and “who’s in charge here” and poof! Dave falls off the rope bridge into the piranha infested river of “I quit” below.
    Jolene is a volunteer coordinator for a small hospice. “Recently, we started a pet therapy program,” she said. “I recruited my first volunteer, Beth and her dog, Chick. Beth works for a local veterinarian and has a lot of contacts with the therapy dog groups in our area so I was really pleased to recruit her. When we talked, Beth told me about a few horror stories she’s had trying to take Chick, her black lab, into hospitals.”
    Jolene continued, “I could see that Beth was hesitant about bringing Chick into our program, because she was afraid that we would give her poor directions or ignore her when she needed us, the two things that happened to her on her own. So, I assured her that this would not happen with us and I set up a time to meet her at a nursing home where we see patients. At the time, we were taking care of three patients in this nursing home, I’ll call ‘Shady Rest.’ So I called Shady Rest and asked to speak to the activities director, Deena. Deena took my call and I explained that I would be meeting a pet therapy volunteer at her nursing home and that I would love it if Deena could join us. She agreed. So, a week later, I pulled up at Shady Rest a bit early so that I could talk to Deena about any pitfalls like residents that might be afraid of a dog and so forth. I walked into the nursing home and there was no one at the reception desk. I stood for a moment, and nodded to the few residents sitting in the lobby and then walked around a corner to find someone to ask where Deena’s office was. I found a woman in an office on the phone, who pointed and said, ‘down the hall’, so I headed down the hallway, looking for a sign. I found the activities room, but it was locked up and the lights were off, so I returned to the lobby. There was still no receptionist, so I returned to the lady in the office who had directed me and she agreed to page Deena. I went out to the lobby again, checked my watch and sat down and waited. A few minutes later, the lady from the office came out and said that Deena was really busy right now, but to go ahead and visit the patients.
    As I was listening, I kept thinking about Beth and how she would have perceived all this if she had come alone for the first time. This was probably the kind of experience she had already. I was so glad I was there to walk with her down this path. By the time Beth arrived with Chick, I had scoped out all the patients’ rooms, had found a place where other residents were gathered and talked to a few of the staff. I walked with Beth through the facility and we had a decent time. Deena managed to come out for a few minutes to introduce herself so that was good. Beth felt comfortable enough to decide that she could come once a week and so it was a success. But had I not been there, I can’t imagine that Beth would have stayed long enough to figure things out. Good thing I was there.”
    While volunteers are capable people, they still require specific directions and when they do not receive them, the volunteers will eventually quit. Knowing how much effort goes into recruiting volunteers, we have no time for poor directions or faulty treatment. We’ve all had to apologize to a volunteer who has had a bad experience because their assignment was not properly planned out. We’ve had the morning visits from volunteers who were inconvenienced the day before. Sometimes you just know you need to pick up every phone call and greet with, “Hello, let me begin by apologizing to you right up front.”
    When I try to explain how important clear directions are and why I spend so much time on the check and recheck, I often have staff members ask, “yes, but if the volunteers can’t adapt to a little inconvenience, then they really aren’t meant to volunteer, right?”
    To which I say, “that’s not it at all. Volunteers come to be of help, to know their volunteering has meaning, not only for our clients but to help the burden of overworked staff. Being sent on wild goose chases says to the volunteer, ‘THIS JOB IS NOT THAT IMPORTANT’.”
    Our volunteers are not prima donnas. They don’t look for special treatment. But they are looking for clarity and meaning. It’s the very least we can give them.
    -Meridian

  • Toughest Job Ever? Part Time Volunteer Manager

    Yesterday I went to a nursing home that specializes in memory impaired residents and met with the activities director/part time volunteer manager (PTVM). PTVM’s have the additional burden of the time constraints their other “more important” jobs put upon them. For them, volunteer management becomes secondary, less important and although they realize the gravity of managing volunteers, they do not have the resources or the support to effectively do that part of their job. They are stuck doing the best they can.

    Jolie, the PTVM was a bundle of energy and I kept looking around for a straw to maybe suck out some of that enthusiasm and run home with it. All around were cute games and activities and she breathlessly told me about the “one man band” and the “reading genie” and the “pet pig Porkita” that were scheduled for the week. As I helped her round up and board some of the residents in the facility van, she told me about her vacation last week. “It’s really horrible when I go away, especially for a whole week.” she confided, “the staff just doesn’t bother to follow up with the volunteers, even though I leave them detailed instructions.” Jolie went on, “I had this new volunteer scheduled to come in and start, but no one here was willing to show her what to do, so she left. She’s not returned my calls.”

    As Jolie helped Ms. Eva, a real sweetie with a big smile up into the van, she added, “and my best volunteer, Sonya the songstress, whom everyone loves, showed up and there were only 3 residents brought into the great room.” Jolie sighed, “when I’m not here to head it up, no one bothers. It’s disheartening.”

    I just listened as Ralph with the cowboy hat took my arm and let me help him up. I wanted to say that it would get better, but who would I be kidding? Not Jolie, who has been doing this for years. She knows full well that being a PTVM requires full time attention with minimal time. And she knows that staff will leave everything involving volunteers to her. When Jolie is not there, the volunteers are on their own.

    How many times does senior management wonder why volunteers need management at all? How often do they sigh and wonder what we all do each day? After all, volunteers need no management, they are really like the copier or the laptop, no? Turn them on and they produce, right?

    Folks like Jolie will never be able to have the stable of volunteers they need. Jolie, who is a great volunteer manager will never be able to give her volunteer program the attention she’d love to give because she doesn’t have the time, nor the backing. She will continue to struggle and her residents will be denied all the wonderful programs and ideas she has rattling around in her already stuffed brain.

    What does Jolie really need? First and foremost, she needs leadership that makes volunteer management everyone’s job. (See Susan Ellis’ profoundly right on target book, “From the Top Down” https://www.energizeinc.com/store/1-102-E-3 ) She needs to know that the time she spends with each volunteer is not socializing or shirking her real responsibilities; it is necessary time retaining that volunteer.  She needs to feel supported in her visions. And she needs administrative help. (Don’t we all?)

    As Jolie waved to me from her perch in that huge van, her smile radiated resolve. PTVMs are resourceful, hard working and committed. Until volunteer management is viewed as a complex profession, no one will really know what Jolie goes through to attract and keep her volunteers. No one, but us.

    -Meridian

  • Sometimes It’s Not Good

    I had a lady come in the other day wanting to volunteer. I asked her to sit down and the first thing she said was, “I have to keep busy, I just have to get out and do something.”

    Ok, let’s take a deep breath here and find out why you have to get out and keep busy. Our vulnerable patients or clients should not be the steps on which you climb to your happiness. I asked her one question and it was like opening the top of a shaken coke as she told me about her situation and why she so badly needs to join us. It turns out that her husband is in a nursing home, is declining and the staff at the nursing home told her to go volunteer, it would be good for her. (Maybe they are getting weary, I don’t know).

    She told me that she was at his side four and five days a week. Based on her experience with her husband, she thought she could do some good for someone in a similar situation. She looked exhausted, emotionally and physically. She appeared fragile, and her emotions welled up during her pitch.

    I asked her if she had tried volunteering at something completely different from her situation, trying gently to explain that spending her free time with people who  reminded her of her husband would be burdensome. I asked her about volunteering in schools or with animals.

    She said she had tried other volunteering but it wasn’t “it”, didn’t help, and made her feel depressed. Upon further questioning, she said she volunteered with an animal shelter, but her job was to take the puppies to local nursing homes. She also volunteered for meals on wheels, taking meals to elderly shut ins. That made her feel horrible.

    I took a chance and asked her if she saw a pattern in her past volunteering and her desire to help critically ill patients. She thought for a moment and said, “yes, I think I see what you mean. I’m doing the things that remind me of my husband’s condition.”

    We parted with an invitation to come back sometime in the distant future. If experience serves me correctly, she will probably never come back, or do so many years after her husband dies. I could be way off on this one, but hey, it’s a guess.

    It bothers me when people advise others who are going through some rough patches to “keep busy by volunteering” for the organization they are currently being helped by. Well intentioned people need to realize, not only does the person volunteering risk magnifying their situation, but they risk using other clients as cry towels or mood boosters. It’s not fair to anyone in these situations, not even the poor volunteer manager who has to sort it all out and keep real harm from happening.

    Yes, volunteering is good for you, but not when it’s only a salve for a wound. The wound needs to heal properly or that volunteer will bleed all over the clients.

    -Meridian