Tag: organizations
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Slaying the Beast
Beowulf slays the dragon: 1908 illustration by J. R. Skelton Emil shook his head. “Everything I’ve done and worked so hard for, it’s now being looked at as inadequate, even wrong.” He paused, then said, “I’ve been building this volunteer program for over five years now. I’ve increased our volunteer base by 125%. I’ve introduced new ways for volunteers to be involved. I’ve gotten media mentions of our volunteers and just last year I wrote an award nomination for a volunteer that won a local award. So, why, now, do I feel as though I am a failure?”
Emil stopped, then quietly added. “It all started when a brand new upper level manager, Chloe, took over for my manager, Stefan, who quit. Actually I heard that Stefan was pretty much drummed out of here. Why, I don’t know, but I know he fell into disfavor with our CEO. Chloe was hired, as I hear it, to ‘clean up’ Stefan’s departments. It seems as though Chloe has targeted volunteer services before she even met me or took a look at all the successful programs that we have in place. Can we improve? Sure, we can always improve, but surely not everything I’ve accomplished is inadequate. I feel like I was targeted by Chloe from the beginning.”
Ahhhhhh, yes, this scenario is the kind of nightmare that can wake you up in a sweat faster than Count Dracula puncturing your jugular.
The “Slayer,” that incoming manager who was hired or given permission to “clean up” needs to find a beast to slay. Sometimes a beast does exist. For instance, if employees are stealing, or a department is not producing or there is a mutiny afoot, then cleanup is definitely necessary. But if there is not a real beast to slay and the slayer has been given vague directions, then the slayer needs to manufacture one in order to justify his or her position. And sometimes the slayer is a fellow manager or employee who, for whatever reason, has decided to further their standing by skewering you and your department
As the target of the slayer, it is natural to become completely discouraged. It is easy to become angry, to look at the hard work you have done and think that it has been for naught. It is easy to retaliate or to withdraw but that is an emotionally charged reaction.
Instead, because volunteer managers have the skills to work well with anyone, then, even though this becomes personal, those skills can still help. Trust me, this sticky situation is one of the tougher ones and can be some of the hardest work you’ll ever do, especially if upper management is looking for a beast to slay out of their own emotional reasoning.
Here’s one way to begin dealing with a slayer in a non-emotional, solutions oriented manner: Deflect to a workable goal for all. You can say, “so very glad to meet you. I’ve heard some encouraging things about you and look forward to making volunteer services even better.” (Ok, you might dry heave a little, but hold that professional stance). Then, show this person all the great things about your volunteer program and point to the things that you feel can be improved-it doesn’t hurt if you can offer some stats, like, “we can certainly use help with media coverage, we’d love to get to a 15% increase in volunteers this year. Can you help us with that?” or, “You know, I am having the hardest time educating our staff on all the areas our volunteers can be involved in. I sure could use someone with your expertise to create a sustainable educational program.”
Trying to work with the slayer instead of against the slayer will at least take back some of the control. But here’s the secondary point:
Complacency in showcasing volunteer achievements can invite a slayer in. We may think that everyone, including administration, is aware of all the great things volunteers are accomplishing, but in reality, upper management may be hearing cherry picked instances of volunteer absences, or mistakes. They may not know all the good things going on. Proactively making sure that positive volunteer reports reach the highest level of your organization can be a shield against a slayer.
Then, when that sword gleams over your department, the slayer may look for a minute, shrug and say, “Huh, no beast here to slay,” and move on.
-Meridian
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Retreating Forward
“Electricity is really just organized lightning”
― George Carlin
Overlooking a meandering river, the retreat lodge sat, looking like a peaceful bed and breakfast, a place to rest and read a book, or to watch the sun set over the ravine. But inside the rustic walls, I could almost hear the animated voices of the many educational and informative sessions that came before. This was a place of learning and sharing and as I unpacked, I felt my anticipation grow.
For three days, hospice volunteer managers from Texas and New Mexico gathered to learn and share. I was fortunate and humbled to be invited. I came a stranger and left a peer because of their warm welcome. (I’m not mentioning names to protect their privacy)
So many things stand out from my time with these incredible volunteer leaders. From the thoughtful way they looked at workshop scenarios to the humor and encouragement they shared with each other, there was a spark of electricity in this serene place. One evening, a storm rolled over the countryside and we sat on the porch, watching the spider fingers of lightening illuminate the clouds. It was a fitting scene for it mirrored the ebb of creativity that crackled across the room each day.
Every one of their discussions pointed to excellence, and were about providing the best possible volunteer experiences for not only the volunteers, but for the patients and their families as well. It was so encouraging to hear a message of support from their passionate senior manager and it was invigorating to hear them wish to help non-volunteer department staff understand the importance of working with volunteers.
And here’s the thing from within these walls of wisdom: We, volunteer managers and leaders have so much in common. A few questions or comments took me way way back to my first days as a volunteer manager. But I got their meaning right away because I had the same questions and feelings too. So much has changed over the past twenty years in the field of volunteer management, but so much is still the same.
We may recruit differently now. We may use social media more now. We may work with newer generations now. We may rely on risk management more now. We may have many more reports and stats to compile now. But we all still feel incredibly privileged to work with such selfless, talented and inspiring human beings. We still worry that we aren’t doing enough to keep our volunteers. We still struggle with keeping chaos at bay. We still have a way to go to help people understand the complexities of our jobs.
But we are not alone. There are so many of us out there, working to elevate our profession and to ensure that volunteers and volunteer programs receive the recognition and support they deserve.
It doesn’t matter if you are new to volunteer management or if you’ve done this for many years. There are insights to glean and practices to learn everywhere and from what I’ve found, we are a group of folks who are willing to share our successes and challenges.
What value does peer to peer relationships have? Why do we feel energized after peer group meetings? Well, since childhood, unless we grew up alone, peers have had an influence on us. Most of the influencing throughout our lives comes from family, friends, acquaintances and fellow workers. And for volunteer managers, those influences may not really understand our challenges.
Our fellow volunteer managers, who do not know us other than a common profession, can influence us in an energizing way by sharing best practices, offering helpful solutions and encouraging us through similar challenges. These are electrifying thoughts: “I’m not alone. I’m not crazy, because others have these problems. I’m on the right track, because I helped someone with their problems.”
Peer to peer is like taking a vitamin. We need it. Our professional bodies thrive on it. And as more online volunteer manager groups grow and more peer group meetings happen, we will see a stronger, more robust community of volunteer management leaders.
I have this image in which we are all gathered on a shared porch, looking up into the sky where we can send out flashes of bright light to one another through the clouds.
And, as peers, together, we can retreat forward, to excellence.
-Meridian
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when a question is not a question
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com “So, are we supposed to come back tomorrow for more in-depth training?” Doris asked Mikki, the volunteer coordinator.
“Um, no,” Mikki returned, puzzled at the question. “I’m sorry if I gave that impression. Today is the only day of training, at least in the beginning. We will be interviewing each one of you for your assignment next week. Is that ok?”
“Hmmm,” Doris said and paused. “I suppose so.”
Down the road, volunteer manager Don stopped in the hallway to chat with Jeremy, a volunteer. “I have five of our best volunteers lined up for the event next week,” he said, proudly, “including you. I am just awaiting instructions as to start time and assignments. Jeremy shifted and asked Don, “is your volunteer Chad one of the ones who will be there?”
“Yes, actually he is,” Don answered. “Is that a problem?”
“Just wondering,” Jeremy said after a moment and then he shrugged his shoulders.
Occasionally we are faced with statements concealed within questions and often these statements are thinly veiled criticisms. And since it is difficult to respond to a question with anything but an answer, you end up defending something you didn’t know you needed to defend in the first place.
I remember a volunteer Gladys, who threw these “critiquestions” like a pitcher striking out a string of batters. “Are you planning on giving that assignment to Hershel?” she’d ask, one eyebrow arching skywards in lofty judgment. “Is that the wording in the letter you are sending to all the volunteers?”
Being on the defensive is not the best position for volunteer managers. It is not ideal, defending every decision made, whether it is yours or your organizations’. Volunteers do have a right to know why decisions are made, but a barrage of constant critiques is counter productive. We want to keep our volunteers from becoming embroiled in organizational politics so we don’t share any political reasons for our actions. We also want them to experience the mission in its purest form, so explaining the nuances of policy is an art form in itself.
Dismissive phrases such as “I don’t make the rules, it’s just the way it is,” or “I agree, that policy is stupid but we are stuck with it,” doesn’t help the volunteer and actually encourages them to ramp up their criticisms. We can certainly hear their concerns while encouraging them to work within the system . “I understand your criticism, but here is the reasoning behind this policy or decision.”
Not every volunteer will agree with your style of managing volunteers, or your system for reporting hours or your training methods or your assignments. Heck, there will be volunteers who dislike you personally from the start. This hurts, I know.
But we’re not here to be liked by every volunteer who crosses paths with us. It would be nice, but it is unrealistic. Instead, we are creating an atmosphere in which volunteers feel connected to the work. So, for those volunteers who are overly nit picky and critical, the question becomes: How are they connected to their work? Are they deriving meaning out of helping, or are they deriving meaning out of the feeling they get when criticizing?
And, if hyper critical volunteers, like Gladys are hard-working, efficient, reliable folks, you may find yourself overlooking their prickly questions. You may just turn a blind eye to their not so subtle barbs and tell yourself, “oh, it’s ok, I’ll put up with it because frankly, I need the help.”
There’s a few ways to deflect these critiquestions so that it does not become the permanent way a volunteer interacts with you. Here are three I’ve used:
Sincere honesty: “I’m noticing a tone of disapproval in your question. Can you tell me what you mean by that?”
Reverse the power: “Hmm, why would you ask me that?”
Humor: “C’mon, you know that everything we do makes no sense. That’s why I love working here!” Granted, this is flippant and doesn’t address the underlying behavior, but sometimes, I just needed to laugh.
The point is, negative patterns often become established. Volunteer managers, being savvy leaders, can discourage a nit-picking pattern from forming by managing negativity head-on, having those difficult conversations and redirecting volunteers to the joy in mission work.
And, the next time you get a question that isn’t really a question, acknowledge the criticism buried just below the surface. Dig it out and keep it from growing too big.
-Meridian
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Above and Beyond or Off the Rails?
While attending a recent staff meeting, Beth, the volunteer coordinator for a mid-sized hospital, took note of the meeting tone. “It was really interesting to watch,” she said, “because there was this staff member who was singled out for going above and beyond. He’s a social worker who bought food for a patient’s family and delivered it to their home. The CEO spoke glowingly of the social worker’s commitment to helping our patients. And while I applaud him for his creative way to do his job, I mentally compared his actions to our code of conduct. According to the code, he broke the rules. It made me wonder what or who the rules are for and for those of us who follow the rules, are we just mediocre employees? And how do I set rules for our volunteers when we applaud behavior that oversteps boundaries?”
Hmm, that is a paradox and begs the question: How do we encourage volunteers to be creative, innovative, flexible, imaginative, out of the box thinkers without simultaneously giving them the go ahead to break all rules?
“I had that experience,” said Craig, a volunteer manager at a museum. “We had this volunteer, Bethany, who put in a lot of hours behind the scenes. She was a dynamo with lots of ideas who was encouraged to create new programs by the staff that worked with her. So one day, we all were shocked to learn that she had her own social media account that she presented as an official arm of our museum. Bethany was dispensing all types of misinformation and asking for donations on her own. It was a horrible mess and I was blamed for not over seeing her more closely. She was dismissed and I became kind of “gun-shy” with the rest of our volunteers.” Craig paused. “While I still want to see our volunteers take initiative, I don’t want another Bethany. I don’t want them to think that the sky’s the limit. I mean, none of us has that kind of carte blanche.”
There’s a teeny tiny thin line between volunteers taking initiative and being called up before the executive director because a volunteer started their own slush fund. Ultimately, we are often blamed for any volunteer who goes off our rails. So what are the ways that volunteers might bend the rules? I’m betting you’ve experienced these scenarios:
A volunteer argues with you because he finds a rule inhibiting and wants you to look the other way. He argues that the rule is stupid and gives you examples as to how it was never meant to be followed.
A volunteer creates programs or initiatives on her own, utilizing your organization’s name. She is convinced that your organization is just being stubborn by refusing to incorporate her “Walk Across America” fundraiser.
A long term volunteer seldom checks in, and is very cagey about his duties. Staff doesn’t really know what he is doing in client’s homes either. He waves off any inquiries by asking, “Don’t you trust me?”
On the other hand though, you’ve probably experienced these scenarios as well:
A volunteer brings in a fabulous idea and would like to implement it. This volunteer is one of your best, on time, committed, transparent and reasonable.
A new volunteer has an unusual skill that triggers creative thoughts in your head.
A volunteer has experience in an area that you know would enhance your mission and you’ve read about other similar organizations successfully utilizing these types of volunteers.
This conundrum has been referred to in the Human Resources world as the “Initiative Paradox”. We too, often are faced with the paradox of encouraging inventiveness while trying to remain rule bound. So, how can we reasonably advance creativity? It all boils down to communication and due diligence on our part. In other words, a big heap of extra work for us.
Volunteers who are not willing to properly report on their creative endeavors should send up a huge red flag. Any volunteer who dismisses your need to know or tries to make you feel like a busy body is not a volunteer who plays by the rules. You are after all, the volunteer’s supervisor and you must keep abreast of their actions, provide direction and feedback while doing all your other tasks.
Communication goes two ways. When we honestly communicate with our volunteers and tell them why they can’t move a client into their home, we are not only considerate of their feelings, we reinforce their importance as a team member. We can then guide them to remaining a meaningful help to their client while keeping boundaries and everyone’s sanity intact.
Our volunteers bring a wealth of talent, skills and ingenuity to our organizations. With two-way communication, due diligence, and a heap load of old fashioned extra work, our volunteers’ creative initiatives will flourish.
-Meridian
Francesca Gino, coauthor with Dan Ariely of Duke University, describes part of the study in Psychology Today: Inducing a “casual” mindset, with cues that encouraged flexibitlity—with words like original, novel, and imaginative—increased the odds of cheating at a game.
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Happy Volunteer Appreciation Week!
Well, it’s hump day for volunteer appreciation week and as everyone who manages volunteers knows, it is a wonderful, hopeful, stressful, physically and mentally exhausting, go without much sleep week.
Behind the scenes, volunteer leaders everywhere are working long hours so that every volunteer receives the recognition they deserve. If you wear a wristwatch, take a good look at it. This is you: On the outside, the good old watch reliably tells you whether it’s exactly the time to phone Virginia, the volunteer who left you a voicemail to call her this morning at preciously 10am, because after that, she is unavailable. (And she means it, you’ve discovered from having called her five minutes after her specified time on another occasion).
But back to the clock. On the inside, all these gears and wheels are spinning their little metal hearts out, interlocking with one another in a never sleep mode that makes the reliable watch look so simple on the outside. That is you, the volunteer manager.
So, this week, think about these outward results created by your inner spinning gears:
When your volunteers are pleased with all the glittery stars hung everywhere, it’s due to you enlisting your family in a “family craft day” of cutting and glueing glitter on one hundred stars. (Note to self, glitter will never come out of tweed furniture and the statement “I’ll make it up to you” will cost you dearly one day).
When the volunteers are swooning over the delicious home-made cupcakes, it’s due to you staying up until 2am to learn through YouTube how to make each cupcake look like a trophy. (Note to self, pick a round object next year).
When the volunteers see the huge cardboard card signed by all the staff, it’s due to you chasing everyone down for weeks in advance. You even went so far as to show up at staff member Fred’s door because he was home recuperating from a bout of H1N1 flu. (Note to self, keep masks in the car, just in case).
When the volunteers are snapping pictures by the “Tree of Thank Yous” in the common room, complete with a variety of leaves sprouting sayings of gratitude, it’s due to you gathering leaves of all types from local forests and parks on your weekends when you should have been helping your daughter do her homework or your significant other clean the gutters. (Note to self, poison oak is itchy as heck and the offending oils need to be scrubbed out from under the skin).
When the volunteers are all abuzz about that mention on the local radio program, it’s due to you stalking the morning drive radio host all over town trying to get just a moment of his time. When you finally accosted him outside the gym he attends, you mumbled something about “volunteer power”, but somehow he agreed to give a shout out to your volunteers, and even though he mispronounced your organization’s name, it was a win-win. (Note to self, inform marketing of any publicity requests you make because they are not happy that the morning drive guy said “The Sleeze Organization” instead of “The Seize Organization.”).
When volunteer Joyce feels special because she got a hand delivered invitation that somehow the post office lost (wink wink), it’s due to you finding the unfinished address labels in the desk drawer. You called everyone on that list just to be sure and made up some lame story about the invites being lost but you couldn’t get through to Joyce’s voicemail so you drove 30 miles out there because just last week, Joyce was gently reprimanded by a staff member and Joyce is very sensitive and somehow you just knew that if she didn’t get this invite, she would feel completely unwanted and so you went after work when you had this great dinner date set up and instead you ate a cold burger on the way and dropped mustard on your brand new cream colored shirt. (Note to self, uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, nope I have nothing).
There you have it-you are the watches of the world of volunteering, the reliable, always working, always the main spring of motion that makes a volunteer feel connected and appreciated.
Happy Volunteer Appreciation Week to all the wonderful volunteers!
And to all the volunteer managers out there who work their gears off to make sure the volunteers are appreciated?
It’s 5 o’clock somewhere. A nice Chardonnay or a good pint of Lager or cup of tea is waiting for you on Friday!
-Meridian
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Half a Cup of Meaningful Sugar Please
Measuring the Impact of Volunteers
Roger nervously waited his turn. “This time I hope I can get their attention,” he told himself. As the CEO called him forward for his ten minute report slot, Roger knew from experience that he had exactly one minute to engage his audience. Staff wasn’t interested in seven new volunteers. They smiled politely at his “Sally filled in an extra hour at her job” stories. After about one minute, he observed, they would begin to check their phones while he reported hours volunteered, money and salaries equated and clients served.
So this day, Roger stepped to the podium and began to report on a new project the volunteers had initiated. He spoke passionately of the impetus for the idea, the endless committee meetings and the hard work of the involved volunteers. As his enthusiasm grew, he looked around. Some of the staff had pulled out their phones. Some were starting to chat with others around them. The CEO’s executive assistant smiled encouragingly at him but the CEO was checking his watch. Deflated, Roger quickly gave his report on hours and statistics. He sat down as the meeting came to an end. “What is it going to take?” he mumbled.Statistics regarding volunteer involvement is an area that is challenging for most volunteer departments. What are we asked to report? Do those statistics tell the whole story? Are the statistics meaningful and support the mission? Do they show that volunteers are an integral part of services provided?
We can pepper volunteer stories and examples into our reports, but if these examples exist only as a sugary “awwwww” moment, then they, too can be meaningless.
A new book from Energize entitled, “Measuring the Impact of Volunteers” tackles this important subject. The innovative Volunteer Resources Balanced Scorecard introduced in this well researched book is a tool in which to not only create meaningful reporting, but to also create and evaluate volunteer involvement.
If only we, volunteer managers know the excellent and mission supporting work volunteers do every day, then just as we tell our volunteers when emphasizing the importance of turning in their reports, “if it’s not reported correctly, it didn’t happen.”
I highly recommend this book as an introduction to professionally reporting volunteer involvement as more than just volunteer hours and money supposedly saved. Let’s elevate the way our volunteers are viewed from sugary cute add ons to mission supporting crucial members of our organization’s teams.
For us, it’s mission critical.
-Meridian -
Awards: The Bridge to Inspire
Peace Bridge from e-architect.co.uk “Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching.” …C.S.Lewis
When John approached Emma about nominating her for a volunteer award, she adamantly shook her head. “No way, no. I don’t want the recognition. I don’t do this for any praise, I do it because it’s the right thing to do.”
“I know, Emma,” John replied. “But you are perfect for the award. I know you can win.”
Nominating a volunteer for a local, regional or national award is a big deal. We all know volunteers who deserve recognition and ironically, the ones who embody the spirit of the awards are the ones who don’t want the “fuss.”
So, how do we convince deserving volunteers to let us nominate them and should we bother with it anyway? Is winning an award something we should boycott on principal or does it have a place?
You know the volunteer who immediately comes to mind when thinking about nominations. You happen to peek in on them and they are quietly doing the most amazing work. As you watch them, you envision the entire room as a bridge, constructed by an unassuming volunteer who is changing the life of the person they are helping, one plank, one suspension wire at a time. You wish you could capture that perfect scene in a bottle or at least on film, so that you could show it worldwide. “Here!” you would shout, holding up the moment. “Here is the perfect piece of volunteering. This is what it is all about!”
Perhaps awards are not exactly what we are aiming for, but if they are an avenue to tell a volunteer’s story, to shed light on our volunteers’ accomplishments, and to galvanize others, then awards can serve a purpose. And explaining that to a reluctant volunteer just might convince them to allow you to tell their story.
“Emma,” John continued, “I know that you are not an attention seeker. Your work speaks for itself. “But if telling your story can inspire others to step forward and volunteer, wouldn’t that be a worthwhile thing?”
“I just don’t want to do this for the wrong reason,” Emma returned skeptically.
“I agree wholeheartedly,” John agreed. “We’re not going to make a big fuss. We just want to show others that volunteering impacts our clients in the most profound way. I know that telling your story will do just that.”
And so, with the assurance that a nomination was for reasons that would never include self-promotion, Emma agreed to allow her exceptional story to be told. She not only won, she caused others to get involved.
A very wise person once told me that the secret to nominating volunteers for awards is to find the “angle.” What sets the volunteer apart? What obstacles has the volunteer overcome by volunteering? What has the volunteer done to initiate change, improve a program, or solve a problem? What about this volunteer’s story must be shared with others?
But nominations can also be written to influence people. By hearing amazing volunteer stories, potential volunteers can seek an opportunity to be part of that incredible bridge building. And many folks just might want to join a group of “award-winning volunteers.”
Nominating volunteers can:
- Elevate volunteers within the organization
- Demonstrate the importance of volunteer involvement
- Show the volunteers that they are valued
- Inspire potential volunteers to join
- Gather stories highlighting the impact of volunteers
Although most volunteers shy away from the spotlight, their compelling work can often motivate others to step forward.
And if awards can work for us, then let the nominations begin!
-Meridian
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Ten Email Subject Lines for Volunteer Managers
Do you sometimes feel like your emailed requests or questions swirl down the computer garbage disposal sink drain before anyone actually reads them?
Yes, it happens. I think busy senior managers are forced to choose an immediate crisis (think, Subject: One of your staff just over-reported her mileage reimbursement ) versus a well thought out and professional big picture question regarding the future of volunteering. Unfortunately, you’ve now just entered into the email game of “Let the Priorities Begin!”
So, let’s first look at the subject lines that get deleted faster than you can ask, “are the volunteers going to be recognized at the Gala this year?”
- Subject: I have this new, awesome volunteer that I think could help you. (so this should be the one everyone can’t wait to open but sadly we live in a paradox. This email doesn’t always get deleted but can sit on the “to do” list until eternity. Why?) (Actual recipient’s response before deletion: “Because new volunteers are MORE work for me, not less.”)
- Subject: A volunteer has a suggestion. (Ok, guaranteed this one gets deleted.) (Actual response before deletion: “Hmm, so a once-a-week person is going to tell us how to run our organization?”)
- Subject: A volunteer needs supplies to start a new project. (Actual response before deletion: “Hahahahahahahaaaa, you think we have a budget for anything but salaries and maybe fancy napkins for our Gala?”)
- Subject: I have a proposal for your consideration. (Actual response before deletion: “Seriously, honey, we have projects we saw at the last national conference and now must see implemented, so you just have to wait your turn.”)
- Subject: I have a challenging situation. (Actual response before deletion: “But I’m working on how to squeeze two jobs into one and if I just ignore things, they may go away cause I’m stretched soooooo thinnnnnnnnnnnnn.”)
- Subject: I am so livid right now. (Uh oh, sending emails when angry or upset is never a good thing and will forever hang a “snippy, snarky” title around your neck.) (Actual response before deletion: “Me too!”)
So, how do we get our emails read before the rest of the stampeding herd of communication? Here are ten subject lines to make sure that your email is opened immediately:
- Subject: Fwd: Evidence that our organization is a cover for the CIA!
- Subject: FWD: Rumor alert! Downsizing-Guess who the CEO is firing next?
- Subject: The CEO created a new award and I’m nominating you!
- Subject: FWD: This reporter is asking our volunteer for a statement on organizations mishandling money. Can you help?
- Subject: Fwd: Shocking photos of staff napping during the last staff meeting. (this one is good for attachments)
- Subject: This volunteer works for a company that gives non-profit grants of up to $50,000!
- Subject: A volunteer BROKE the new expensive projector and I’m charging a new one on the corporate credit card (you’ll probably get a phone call)
- Subject: Warning! Scandalous photos of board members attached! You won’t believe No. 7! (again, good for attachments)
- Subject: Fwd: You won’t believe what this volunteer overheard while working in Finance! Hint” Buy gold!
- Subject: Fwd: This volunteer is thinking about donating $100,00!
I’ll admit, you can only use these once on each person and you’ll most likely be forced into a good one on one with a counselor, so maybe save them for an absolutely crucial email or the day you announce your retirement, whichever comes first.
But, maybe a little creative email can move us forward in the shuffle. At the very least, it might just be a way to have a little fun.
-Meridian
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Humbled
Managing volunteers is very much like attending a life university in which there are classes on leadership, psychology, history, arts, health, philosophy, science and sometimes when you get lucky enough, quantum physics. We not only learn from our volunteers, but also each other, our clients, and our staff. No wonder we brush off the day-to-day hard stuff. We’re here to learn and grow.Sometimes, that learning is tiny, almost imperceptible like a diamond lying in the dust under our feet until a shaft of sunlight illuminates the sparkle and only then, we stop to pick it up and turn it over in our hand, enthralled by the worth of such a tiny object.
Dot was a snip of a woman, outliving her husband by years, childless, left alone with her money and an emptying change purse of friends. She came to the hospice care center, her mind and demands intact and she could speak about the service aboard cruise lines as I could tell you where to find the best deal on hot dogs. She came with a short list of foods she would eat and an even longer list of those she would not. It was challenging for the volunteers who cooked in the kitchen and I tried to help them as much as possible to not become discouraged by difficult demands and critiques.
One morning after hearing the food stories of the previous day, I noticed that potato pancakes were on Dot’s “will eat” list and I thought of my deceased grandmother who had made them from scratch. Surely, I reasoned, scratch potato pancakes would calm Dot’s critical tongue, so I tied on a ruffled apron and got to work. I fancied myself on an episode of Iron Chef and put my heart and soul into 3 perfectly cooked pancakes. Feeling flush with satisfaction, I covered them with the tenderness of a new mother and brought them down to her room. She was looking out the window as I knocked.
“Good morning,” I chirped as she fixed me with eyes of steel. “I have something special for you, Dot.”
“What is it?” she growled, a big cat cornered in our prettily decorated trap.
I gently removed the cover, exposing my precious gift as I approached her tray table. “Potato pancakes, I made them just for you,” I said, breathless, waiting for that appreciative look I’d come to crave.
Dot looked at me then down at the plate. She inspected the pancakes as though they were secretly holding explosives and then she looked back at me. “Take them away,” she said with a wave of her hand.”Everybody with any sense knows you put black pepper in potato pancakes.” With that her gaze turned to the window again. I was dismissed.
Crushed like a flower beneath the stampeding herd, I headed back to the kitchen and scraped the three chef worthy pancakes into the garbage. I continued my day, the sting of rejection clouding my happiness.
I packaged that experience and unwrapped it later at home, letting my thoughts go anywhere they wanted. Why was she so ornery? Why couldn’t she just acknowledge my gift for what it was? Why did this hurt? Why do I bother?
Then, a prick of sunlight set itself on the dusty diamond. I began to ask myself these questions: Why did I assume she wanted those pancakes without my asking? Why did I cook them for her in the first place? Why, if I wanted to be of service, was this about me and my feelings?
From that day on, I tried to be better at focusing on the client and by extension, any volunteer or friend or family member or staff member instead of myself. I began to ask more questions and listen less to my voice. I began to free myself from personalizing everything.
When I would help out in the kitchen and take an order from a patient, I would ask them, “how do you want that prepared?” It’s amazing how many ways you can prepare toast, for instance-white, wheat, rye, pumpernickel, lightly toasted, toasted dark, dry or with butter or olive oil, whole or cut into two or four, rectangular or triangle-shaped, with or without jelly or peanut butter or honey or chocolate or maybe hummus. But the point was to give the person what they wanted without making them feel like a burden or without a self congratulating experience.
I have been fortunate over the years to be humbled again and again, especially at times when I started to think that I just knew more than everybody else.
Humility is one vastly underrated quality. It instills a sense of peace and curiosity and just might make someone like Dot feel a heck of a lot less captured.
And oh, I now make potato pancakes with black pepper in them, because everybody knows that’s the way you do it.
-Meridian
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