volunteerplaintalk

Tag: volunteers

  • Am I Nuts, Cause I’ll Put Up With Anything

    clingingMelissa is a volunteer coordinator at a large hospital where she manages a great number of volunteers. She is responsible for filling many positions, including the receptionist volunteers who greet family members in a trauma waiting area. It is an important volunteer assignment and she is required to keep the shifts filled. She has this volunteer, Irma, who has been coming in for one shift the past 5 years. Irma is prompt, reliable, a stalwart. The day after Irma’s shift however, Irma calls Melissa to complain about the lack of brochures, the semi-clean bathrooms, the lazy security guard, the tired reception room furniture, the poor advertizing, the rude staff, the incompetent management and the uncomfortable chair. Irma chews Melissa’s ear for twenty minutes with a list of things that need to be fixed and finishes off by threatening to quit.
    Melissa listens patiently and then does her best to not only fix every little thing, but she also fawns over Irma. Is Melissa nuts?

    Joan has a hospice volunteer, Sig, who, she calls upon occasionally. Sig gives Joan a hard time when she calls him. She steels herself for the excuses, the sighs, the checking schedules four and five times, the twenty questions and the coaxing. Sometimes Sig refuses and sometimes he accepts. Joan thanks him profusely, and calls him the day after his assignment and listens again while he comes up with the reasons he shouldn’t have gone. Joan empathizes, comforts and promises him that the next time will be better. Is Joan insane?

    Mark is a volunteer coordinator for an organization that serves at risk youth. His volunteers make home visits to assess the program’s progress. He has this one volunteer, Henrietta, who is a drama sponge. She sits in Mark’s office for an hour, watching him scramble to get jobs done, peppering her latest life crisis between his phone calls and paperwork. Mark listens patiently, assuring Henrietta that she’s “not bothering” him. He listens intently, concentrating on her needs while she’s there, empathizing with her chaotic life. Later, he may have to stay an extra half hour to catch up. Is Mark crazy?

    We all have these kinds of volunteers. Are Melissa, Joan and Mark super-dedicated or are they just plain dumb? Why would they encourage these behaviors? Well, here are the reasons.
    Irma works on Sunday.
    Sig will go out in the evening.
    Henrietta goes into a neighborhood that no one else will go into.

    It’s ironic how our behavior changes, and needs to change with each and every volunteer and each and every assignment. We all have experienced the volunteer request that is nearly impossible to fill and when we do fill it, we’ll cling to that volunteer like a falling animal to a branch. Suddenly, behavior that we might not tolerate in others becomes, well, not so bad. And when that volunteer becomes ill or has to take some time off, we feel, (if we are completely honest) much more devastated for ourselves because we know how hard it will be to replace them.
    Volunteer managers are by nature very mutable. It is our job to keep positions filled, to keep volunteers happy and retained, to put the right person in the right job. Sometimes, there is only one person for a job and when that occurs, our survival instincts kick in.
    So, the next time you have this nagging little voice asking you why you put up with certain behaviors from certain volunteers, just think of your fingers starting to ache as you cling to that branch hundreds of feet above the canyon of NO VOLUNTEER REPLACEMENT. Then, ignore that voice and Hang On!
    -Meridian

  • Confessions

    pick up stixI don’t know if was a full moon, or maybe Venus somehow sneaked around and eclipsed Mars, but there was a definite vibe in my volunteer training the other evening. You know the old game Pick Up Stix where you drop sticks down and then have to pick them up one by one? New groups of volunteers remind me of the random pattern you get from that game. Each group’s dynamics is so varied, yet intertwined and the personalities clash or sync which really creates the tempo.

    One of our volunteers, Dave, has always offered to come and speak to class. I took him up on his offer. I love volunteer speakers; they are honest, inspiring, witty and extremely encouraging. You never know, though what they are going to say, but for the most part, honesty works.

    Dave sauntered in and greeted me gruffly, said hi to the newbies and got to work recounting his experiences with patients and families. He told them about patients who were funny, families who were loving, circumstances that were inspiring. He stretched his images out like canvas over a frame, painting a colorful and rich world of volunteering.

    Then, suddenly Dave shifted gears. It came after he spoke about a patient who had battled alcoholism for most of his life. Dave grew serious as he described the patient’s struggle and then launched into his own battle with alcohol abuse. He spoke about the program he enrolled in and the dedicated counselor he had.

    Oh, oh, I thought as I scanned the class. Too much information. But how do I stop Dave without giving the impression that he was speaking out of turn? But as I surveyed the faces, I could see they were mesmerized. Dave finished by emotionally thanking everyone for their attention, and as he left, his confession hovered over those pick up sticks like a hand about to drop. And before I could apologize or commend, one new volunteer, Janice started talking about her up and down battle with depression and how it had ruled her life since she was a teenager. Her classmates nodded sympathetically. Then Troy added that he had been institutionalized while in college and pretty soon each one confessed challenges they had faced in life.
    I had not only lost control, I lost my space in this jumble of sticks that were starting to move into a line. As I sat back and let them talk to one another, I realized that the next big subject we were going to tackle was active listening. I watched them listen to one another, and from habit I looked from one face to another. Every one of them was intently focused on the others. It was awesome, actually.
    They finished and looked at me like kids who were caught. “we’re sorry,” they said.
    “You know,” I mused as they allowed me back in, “this is the first time in 20 years I’ve ever done this, but I’m going to skip the first part of our active listening exercise. What you’ve done here with each other is real, authentic active listening.”
    They beamed.
    It got me to thinking. What lurks in the volunteers’ past? What stories and secrets do they keep locked away until someone gives them permission to turn the key? Does it matter if we know? What doesn’t show up on a background check? That I hate my mother, I’m obsessive compulsive, I am afraid of people with red hair? Will a background check reveal that I have an agenda? Or that I am not a team player?

    Will I watch these volunteers more closely? Honestly, no. I think they represent all volunteers. They just happened to feel comfortable enough with each other to be honest. We all have something that on paper makes us undesirable, but in person makes us honest, vulnerable, human. We want the human volunteers and that’s what we get every day. So, when new volunteers connect with one another, I don’t have to pick up sticks and worry about moving the ones below. They moved each other into a sync that will serve them well when working with our patients and families.
    Their confessions? Safe with me.
    -Meridian

  • Happy Volunteer Appreciation Week! I Appreciate the Little Things

    cheersThis volunteer appreciation week, I thought about the volunteers I personally appreciate and so I want to publicly acknowledge them. (names changed, however).

    Bill: For giving me that coveted family recipe for Yorkshire pudding-yum

    Jewel: For always being the first one to call me when I make a typo on flyers and telling me you’ll be at the meeting at 3am (oh, didn’t I say 3pm?)

    George: For calling me once a month with a joke-always needed

    Aida: For teaching me how to make real tamales at your house-complete with margaritas

    Mel: For your “Bob Dylan” impersonation that makes me snort with laughter

    Sadie: For always being the one volunteer I tell my stresses to, don’t know why I do that to only you, but you always make me feel like it’s going to be ok

    Kim: For always taking my face into your hands and looking into my eyes and telling me that I’m loved

    Bud: For always gruffly saying, “oh here comes the suit” when you see me. You actually make me feel like a manager

    Terri: For always understanding when I have to write down what you need and telling you that I have to call you back and then forgetting to do even that

    Syl: For being new and jumping right in, and then, in all the chaos, announcing that you “love it here”

    Lucy: For being part of that hair brained scheme called “recruit by food” and then doing your Edith Ann impersonation when it failed… miserably

    Josie: For believing me when I involved you in that project and not wavering even once

    Harry: For always kissing my hand (very Louis XIV)  when you see me

    Delores: For laughingly grabbing that paper out of my hands when I sheepishly said I forgot to give it to you and not making me feel like I’ve let you down

    Martin: For bringing me that obscure book on Marcel Proust because you remembered I liked him way back in college

    Walt: For giving me that figurine because your late wife shared my birth day

    Kristen: For laughing at my jokes in front of your savvy student friends so that I didn’t look like an idiot

    Dot: For always making that trip to the mail room before you leave because you know I’m not going to get away

    Kitty: For meeting me, at night, at that patient’s house

    Carla: For taking me under your wing when I got here and showing me how to care

    Phil: For telling me every time you see me how much you enjoyed my class

    Bob: For talking sports with me

    Tobi: For making sense of the spreadsheets

    Tuesday crew: For the “News Flashes”

    In looking back over this list, I realize, I have a very lot to be grateful for. I’m sure I’ve left many of you out, not to mention looking back over the years at all the volunteers I’ve known. Each one of you has made an impression on me and taught me something valuable. You may not know it, but you keep me going. It feels as though you are somehow extensions of me that are doing good in this world. I know that sounds selfish, and I don’t mean it that way, but I feel connected to you and the great things you do come humming back the way blood circulates throughout the body. I am proud of you and humbled by your work ethic. I’m protective of you and yet amazed at your strength. I’m careful to get what you need yet bolstered by your resilience. You, my friends, are the best and just being in your presence is enough to look back one day and say, “I was part of something”.

    Cheers to you all! You have made my life richer, more complex, more interesting and infinitely more worthwhile. You are most appreciated.

    -Meridian

  • Don’t Sit by the Phone

    A friend of mine called me yesterday with a problem. She volunteers in a thrift store for a local organization that helps victims of domestic violence. Every Saturday, she is scheduled to work from noon until 3pm. She has been doing this for two years.

    She told me that since Christmas, it has been hard for her to get to the shop. She’s had numerous out-of-town trips to see ill family members, and oftentimes her job requires her to work on a Saturday. She tells me she is diligent about calling to let them know she will not be there. The last time she had to go out-of-town, she called to let the manager know and was told that new volunteers were starting on Saturdays and to call when she got back. She called and was told that the shop would contact her when they needed her. This was about 3 weeks ago.

    My friend is angry, confused and upset. In her mind, she did everything right and her two years of service is being discounted. She feels as though she’s been cast aside for an unknown new person. She is really hurt. She is so hurt that she is telling everyone she knows about the shoddy treatment she received.

    Hmmmmm. From a volunteer manager perspective, I can only guess that the shop really depended on my friend and that each time she could not be there caused great hardship on the manager. We all know that oftentimes it is the volunteer manager who has to replace the volunteer when they are unavailable. This makes our jobs so much harder. What volunteers don’t realize is that they are not alone in calling off. Depending upon the type of volunteer role, volunteer managers can be left doing the job of three people at any given time. If this happens day after day, the volunteer manager can grow tired of filling in and will look to someone new who might exhibit a stronger commitment.

    However, what we always have to keep in mind is the perception of the volunteer. If they believe that they have given excellent help, have followed the rules and are diligent about reporting absences, that is all they will be able to perceive. I’ve had the unfortunate experience of trying to salvage a relationship with a hurt volunteer more times than I can ever count. Perception is everything.

    Was my friend a good volunteer? I don’t know, I wasn’t there to observe her. Was her manager just looking for a way to get rid of her because she was not performing well?  I don’t know that either. I do know that volunteers who are “fired” by never calling them are not happy. Clarity is necessary, especially when the message is a delicate one. Leaving volunteers hanging, not knowing if we want them or why we don’t want them is tantamount to unleashing a barrage of negative advertising. They will talk about us, even more than the volunteer who is happy.

    Not everyone can remain a volunteer. If we do need to let someone go, it’s better that they understand why. My friend has been hurt by her experience. The volunteer manager who left her hanging probably soured my friend on volunteering. That means we’ve all lost another volunteer. And we can’t afford to do that to one another.

    -Meridian

  • A Life of Its Own

    Last night I slipped into my chair at a committee gathering. This is a committee I started over four years ago and have been active in ever since. The first four years were hard and I have spent hours on the projects this committee oversees. Every member of this committee has put in sweat, ideas and love for the outcomes. It is without a doubt, the best committee I have ever been involved with. We spend our time enjoying each other’s company while we plan hard.

    We’ve been on hiatus for about three months. Truth be told, in December, we collectively kicked around the idea of disbanding because the amount of work we do is enormous. After four years, we were just plain weary. But last month, I started getting calls from the members. “Are we going to meet again?” “Have we decided to scrap the committee, because I might be ready to give it one more shot.”

    And so we met. As I slipped into my seat, I looked around at everyone who came back again. Only one person was missing. We even had someone return who had been battling a terrible illness and we added two new members. It was a big and raucous group. The meeting lasted four hours. Now, normally, meetings lasting more than 59 minutes are painful, but not this one. We laughed, reviewed and got excited again. Everyone brought fresh and outstanding ideas.

    For the first time since the formation, I did not say much. I took the minutes, nodded and put in a few comments, but mostly I listened while I soaked in the enthusiasm.

    And you know what? Never once did I feel overshadowed or ignored. I watched the group play off one another, picking up cues from each offered idea to go further, to get more creative. And basking in the loud chatter, I felt good, really, really good.

    To me, the purpose of creating committees to oversee projects or events is to find those who genuinely believe in the work, those who will bring their creative chops and revel in the outcome. It doesn’t hurt to like or respect each other either.

    This group is all of that and a cherry on top. Honestly, I like the feeling that I could quietly slip away and they would continue on beautifully. It’s not mine anymore and it probably never was. It has a life of its own.

    -Meridian

  • Proceed Until Apprehended

    I just finished creating a new voice mail message, one that replaces the really nice one I have on my phone line now. The new message sounds like this:  “Thank you for calling the volunteer department. I am currently on the phone or assisting other volunteers. Your concerns and questions are very important and I will return your call in the order in which it was received. Current wait time expected is between 2 days and 3 weeks.”

    No, I didn’t really change my voice mail message but sometimes I think it might be the wisest thing to do. When a volunteer calls (or stops in) and wants to discuss a problem, concern, idea or suggestion, it often requires the input or permission of someone either higher up or in another department to enact change. While the volunteer waits on the volunteer manager to solve or answer, the volunteer manager waits on other staff to give a go-ahead. This can literally take weeks. It may be because everyone is afraid to make a decision, or the suggestion doesn’t seem as important as everything else on the plate. No matter the reason, there is a time warp when it comes to volunteer needs. If management wants the volunteer department to create something, they want it post-haste. But when the volunteers want to create a great project, it sits on the pile of things to consider, often languishing for weeks.

    I’ve had a number of volunteers come up with really innovative ideas. I’ve had volunteers wait, get frustrated and then fade away. Sadly, the clients and the organization suffers. Right now I have this really dynamic volunteer who wants to create and run with an idea she deems awesome. She has the expertise to run the project. She has the backup man-power. She has the time to do it and she believes in it. So, what’s the problem?

    Organizations can run like bloated larva inching across road. We can be bloated with committees and oversights and liabilities that truly cripple creative thought. We may all be afraid to take a chance, yet when we see news of some organization winning an award for an innovative idea, we all look around and say, “why don’t we do that?” It’s a vicious cycle, one in which the volunteers cannot understand what takes us so long to make a determination. They shake their heads and walk away in frustration.

    I’ve noticed over the years that the successful projects are the ones I don’t tell anyone about until they are up and running. I encourage the volunteers to do a pilot project and we work out the bugs together. When I present the already running project to upper management, I get a “good job.” If a project doesn’t work out, we can contain any damage because we’ve started small.

    You have to give your volunteers credit, not free rein. You have to give yourself credit too. If you oversee the beginnings of a great idea, you can manage that idea so that it works within the parameters of your organization. Showing people a well thought out, proven project works better than pitching an idea. Ideas are shadowy things, full of pitfalls and danger. There’s a great deal of work you will do in the beginning, but if you believe in the outcome, the rewards will far outweigh the initial work involved making sure it runs properly.

    I’m going to tell this volunteer to run with her idea, but in a very controlled and confined space. With success, we can present it to the powers that be and if history serves me correctly, we should be ok.

    Yes, the motto is proceed until apprehended, but you know as well as anyone what your volunteers are capable of accomplishing. Rely on their desire to do what is right for your clients and proceed, cautiously, but with the conviction that you will succeed.

    _Meridian