volunteerplaintalk

Category: organizations

  • Maybe I Need a Good Cry

     

    tissues

    Kenny, a part time volunteer manager recently said, “my brain is sometimes so overloaded that I feel like I’m going to explode. I have duties as a thrift store manager which is a full time job overseeing all the donations, ordering supplies, keeping the store clean and organized and then I also manage about 20 volunteers who are really a different type of managing from my four employees. I’m constantly juggling all the needs of customers, staff and volunteers. I feel like the constant stress is just building up and there’s no way to get rid of it.”

    Stress is a volunteer manager’s BFF.  It looks over our shoulder as we guzzle our first cup of coffee and crawls into bed with us at night. It’s hanging around from the first stir of our PC’s until well after we arrive home still thinking about whether we should make one more phone call to make sure the volunteers have what they need for that event in the morning. Our jobs are never done and there is hardly ever a break from that needy shadowy voice that whispers, “you should have called volunteer Emma to see how her trip went”.  We listen to volunteers’ stories in the grocery store. We field calls and emails after hours. We are recruiting as we wait for that donut and coffee. We show up at events on weekends, fill in for volunteers that call off, and network while getting our cars washed. It’s no wonder that we live with the annoying grip of continuous stress. So how do we unwind? How do we duck into a side door to ditch stress for just a few moments? Well, here are a few suggestions from volunteer managers I have known:

    Do something ridiculously silly: Go sing at a karaoke, dress in a costume and attend a non-costume party, play a crazy board game with friends. Let loose and make fun of yourself and laugh until your sides hurt. When you are genuinely laughing, your focus is on the fun and those nagging thoughts about how you forgot volunteer Mary’s grand dog’s birthday are banished, thus giving yourself a much needed break from the seriousness of work.

    Build something: Put on your old clothes, get your hands dirty and dig a moat around your house, make a 3 foot statue of your ex, construct an outside igloo in summer, or make Mount Everest out of paper clips . Concentrating on the task at hand frees your mind from the worry that staff member Giselle will make 87 year old volunteer Dan carry all the boxes of event stuff up two flights of stairs which will probably give him a heart attack .

    Hide for a day: Go off the grid and bar the door. Watch that movie about bugs who sing, sleep, or practice your banjo. Do not clean, answer any communication nor entertain guests. Make it a good 24 hours of nothing. Eat whatever you feel like eating and don’t comb your hair. Banish your stress buddy by unplugging and binge watching those television shows about two roommates who are really zombies. By immersing yourself in a fantasy escape, you can artificially express your emotions without consequence and “care” about something that is not real nor consequential.

    Let the sadness escape: Spend some time watching the saddest movie ever, read a poignant story, find a documentary on tragedies and cry until you are dehydrated and reaching for the Gatorade. In the helping professions, we deal with true sadness and tragedy every day and yet we know that breakdowns do not help our clients so we stifle sadness. It needs to come out so let it escape with “Terms of Endearment” or “Sophie’s Choice” and a six pack of boxed tissues.

    Find a qualified BFF. Someone has to understand exactly what we are going through, so find a person who has either been a volunteer manager or has an ability to relate to your frustrations and confide in them regularly. Of course they must be discreet, but you can use fake names when speaking about that volunteer that keeps going to the CEO about the lack of proper bathroom tissue in the stalls.  Sometimes we just need a respected good friend to tell us we’re not nuts.

    I’m sure you have other great ideas about how you de-stress and honestly, we all would love to hear them, especially if there are ways to mini de-stress during workdays.

    Stress is always going to be a part of a volunteer manager’s job so we need to keep it from buying us matching best friends forever bracelets. Hang on, I think “Titanic” is just about to come on. Sniff

    -Meridian

     

  • “It’s Good to Remember, Remember With You”

    With his permission granted, I want to share a song written several years ago by Michael Becker, a talented singer and songwriter who strove to capture the connections volunteers make with folks suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Mike spent many years not only volunteering with people at end of life but also inspiring new volunteers to follow their hearts.  I’ve been humbled witnessing Mike playing his song for patients, caregivers, family members and volunteers who quietly relate to that difficult journey through memory loss. As Mike says, “I’m just grateful to be able to share my experiences through my music.”

    Please enjoy

    -Meridian

     

     

     

  • Eureka! I’ve Discovered the Value of a Volunteer!

    volunteer badge

    Volunteer manager Lilly looked up to see the CEO standing in her doorway. “I’m trying to remember our volunteer, Gladys Williams, can you tell me about her?”

    “Oh,” Lilly said, “Gladys was a wonderful volunteer who did office work in finance. She volunteered there for about 12 years, even before I got here. I attended her funeral last month.”

    “I think I remember her. Small lady, white hair?”

    “Ahhh, yes,” Lilly said thinking that description fit any number of office volunteers and added, “she always wore a purple ribbon in memory of her husband.”

    “I think so. Well, we were just told that she left us $25,000 in her estate. I thought you should know.” The CEO paused for a moment. ” Now I’ll have to let finance know too.”

    I read an article recently about the generous surprise gift  bequeathed to a Detroit museum from the estate of a 19 year volunteer. While the incredibly benevolent support of her organization speaks volumes, the tone of the article made me wonder how this volunteer would have been remembered (beyond the staff that obviously cared about her) had she not given such a sizable donation. And exactly how much does a volunteer have to give before the fundraising arm of our charities becomes giddy?

    We all know our volunteers regularly donate money and goods, which seems to now be a trendy topic among the fund-raising gurus who gleefully point to these stories as if they’ve discovered a whole new vein of gold. But again, how much do volunteers have to give in order to be smiled at and afforded that extra bit of silky attention normally reserved for the donor crowd? Is it $1,000, $10,000, $24,999 or more? Will $50,000 pressure upper management into inviting a volunteer to an exclusive luncheon?   Will $27,856 make the organization really, sincerely interested in the wonderful work that volunteer is doing?

    So, I’ve hatched a plan in the basement laboratory of my brain. I think all volunteer managers should include an estate planned giving form with our volunteer applications. We should coerce our volunteers into committing to an amount they will bequeath after they die. Then, that amount should be printed in bold type on their badge. On a really valuable volunteer, it will look something like this:

    volunteer badge2

    That way, at a glance, everyone in the organization can see the worth of that volunteer. Now granted, those, like volunteer Mary above, who are not giving very much may be relegated to the nameless rabble heap, but hey, at least some of our volunteers will achieve recognition.

    And so, when volunteer Imani holds the hand of that distraught client and gently dries flowing tears while staying that extra two hours until family members arrive, her pledged gift of $14,000 might just get some notice.
    After all, it’s all about the money, er work, isn’t it?
    -Meridian

     

  • 5 Ways to Get Off the Passive Aggressive Roller Coaster

    Kumba_at_Busch_Gardens_Tampa

     

    Glenda, an office manager and volunteer coordinator for a public school enjoys a good working relationship with the rest of the school staff, except for Ms. Riley,  the vice principal. As Glenda recalls,  “One day the vice principal, Miss Riley complained about our volunteers in a PTA meeting. She claimed that none of the volunteers were signing in and that we were losing most of our volunteer hours. Honestly, I was shocked when she said it. Instead of coming to me to ask about it, she chose to throw it out and make me look like I wasn’t doing my job. Besides, only two volunteers out of fifty did not sign in for that month and someone happened to mention that insignificant statistic to Miss Riley and she just assumed all the volunteers were not signing in. I was so frustrated I didn’t know what to say so I just sat there. I wished I had a good comeback.”

    Yes, Glenda, we’ve all experienced insufferable passive aggressive managers and staff. Snide little comments, copying department heads on jabbing emails and rehashing a volunteer error in staff meetings are their emotional roller coasters that just go off track and belittle volunteer managers. So what can we do? Do we have to ride this frustrating coaster or can we simply just get off?

    Well, for what it’s worth,  I finally got really tired of a few passive aggressive staff who routinely dragged me onto their caustic car and I decided to say no to their desire to control my emotions with their passive aggressive behavior. So, here are my suggestions on ways to respond to these staff members who want to get a “rise” out of you.

    1. Check your emotions. The point of the passive aggressive staff member’s snarky behavior is to get you emotionally involved. Quash those emotions and become professionally detached. The staff member who loves to goad people will get no satisfaction from your neutral demeanor and will seek other prey.
    2. Don’t strike back. If you don’t like the tone of an unreasonable emailed request that is copied to department heads and meant to bait you, begin your reply with a cool, unruffled, “Thank you for your confidence in the volunteer department. It is always our goal to provide the very best volunteers for each situation and to treat our clients with the respect and professional service they deserve. Because I view this request with the same importance as every request, I will keep you posted on our progress every step of the way.” The passive aggressive staff wants you to complain that the request is unreasonable, so don’t jump on that ride.
    3. Make them prove it. When a staff member complains that “the volunteer requests are not being met on time,” pin them down with, “Can you give me concrete examples of requests that were not met on time? Without specifics, I really cannot make improvements and it is my sincere desire to continually improve volunteer services. So, what are those examples?” Broad statements without factual backup are a favored route of the passive aggressive staff so make them give you something that you can work with.
    4. Deflect unwarranted blame in a professional way. Called out in a meeting because a staff member did not get something done and they want to blame lack of volunteers? Pick the right moment to stand up and say, “While it is unfortunate that we were only able to get 3 volunteers for this request, I would just like to take this opportunity to reiterate that volunteer services will do everything in our power to supply the right volunteers for all requests. Obviously the sooner we get a request, the more time we have to engage our volunteers.  Last minute requests will be treated with high importance, but sometimes we have more than one last minute request.” Don’t get into finger-pointing but take the opportunity to educate staff on how to request volunteers.
    5. Defend the volunteers in a professional manner. Passive aggressive staff that “joke” about volunteer mistakes or qualifications can be reminded that volunteers are real people who give of their time and accomplish much for clients. Try saying, “While yes, volunteer Mary didn’t send that visitor to the right station yesterday, did you know that she is caring for her seriously ill husband right now and is admittedly, a little scattered? It’s amazing that she takes her volunteer job so seriously that she continues to come in for her shift, don’t you think? And even more amazing is that Mary donated over 300 hours last year in our reception area.”  Staff members need to see volunteers as real human beings who donate valuable service time.

    The sad reality about passive aggressive staff is they are not really serious about teamwork and solutions. They are not interested in honest communication but instead, want to manipulate our emotions and drag us along on their melodramatic trek.

    With some staff members you have to stick to a strictly professional, emotionless communication. When they realize that they cannot involve you in pointless emotional back and forth, they will move on.

    While it’s unfortunate that some folks have little interest in teamwork and solutions, you don’t have to indulge them. Volunteer managers have far too much meaningful work to do to get caught up in mind games.

    Even though roller coasters are meant to be fun, passive aggressive roller coasters are neither fun nor productive. You don’t have to get on one.

    -Meridian

  • New Year’s Resolutions On the Half Shell

    resolutions

    Hello 2016! Well, the dreaded “I have to make” new year’s resolutions time is here. It’s inevitable, just like dental checkups, taxes and frantic binge preparations before a volunteer training session. So, unlike last year’s resolutions that jetted out the window after a few days, hopefully this year’s resolutions will be kept. (at least until  I’m fired or I’m sent to ’employee counseling’, whichever comes first)

    To recap, last year’s highly admirable but unattainable resolutions were:

    1. I will not hide in the bathroom when volunteer Zelma comes in because I can’t hear about how her daughter in law is ruining her son’s life one more time. (after only 3 days into the new year and spending 45 minutes listening to Zelma describe her daughter in law’s inability to make proper cheese blintzes, the next time I saw her come in, I bolted for the bathroom where I keep a Reese’s peanut butter cup taped under the towel dispenser.)
    2. I will make senior manager Ella stop claiming that “there are no volunteers when you need them.” (yeah, after I stood up in that January staff meeting and spit out all kinds of impressively convoluted stats that no one could wrap their heads around, one of the volunteers had an emergency and could not show for an important assignment. And we all know that one volunteer’s absence is the basis for judging all volunteer involvement . Sigh. )
    3. I will stop apologizing to the volunteers for things out of my control. (then my first day back, I answered the phone and a volunteer sweetly asked me to check on a request for reimbursement for an entry fee into an important event that she had to pay out of pocket because someone in marketing forgot to pay it, so she forked out $200 of her own money to cover the expense. Her request for reimbursement was submitted over three months before. “Holy crap,” I involuntarily shouted, ” I’m so so SO sorry!”)

    So, this year, I’m going to pick just one of two possible resolutions and see if, for once, I can’t just stick to the one. My possible life altering resolutions for 2016 are in no particular order:

    1. I’m going to now demand to be referred to as Goddess of Volunteers, because leader, manager, and coordinator do not seem to command any respect, so I’m going big and mythological. I will speak in a foamy but otherworldly voice and wear an olive branch crown and flowing gowns with gold sandals, even in the snow. I will announce that “I come from the sea on the half shell and will rule all volunteers like the beautiful goddess I am.” Hey, they say visuals work, so I’m calling ’em on it.
    2. I will not drive a volunteer to North Carolina. I know this is pretty specific, but I figure if I say “out of state” I will really hamstring my chances of keeping this one. Maybe I should say, I will not drive a volunteer and her entire family to North Carolina for her grandfather’s doctor’s appointment to make it more attainable. I might have to add “in months that have more than 30 days” to really give me an edge. Here’s the tricky part on this one.  I’m afraid that when volunteer Cal tells me his kids finally took away his driver’s license because, well, he has already hit a few cars in the parking lot when he comes to volunteer, I’ll be shouting, “you’ve got shotgun Cal, get it!”

    So, maybe instead I should just resolve to do my best, be fair and professional and try to see the beauty in my job every day. That’s one I’m pretty sure I can keep.

    -Meridian

     

  • Volunteers: The Quiet Why

    hands

    But it was Mary, Mary
    Long before the fashions came
    And there is something there that sounds so square
    It’s a grand old name….

    Cohan George M. – Mary’s A Grand Old Name, 1906

    Ralph, a volunteer for a hospice in-patient unit sat in the metal chair by the bedside of 97 year old Mary. Her wisps of white hair blended in perfectly with the assortment of pillows that supported her frail head and body. Ralph was holding her gaze, his brown eyes searching her blue eyes for clues. Her eyes were magnified in their sharpness by the lined and hollow face they stared out from and Ralph was determined to connect with her.

    “Should I hold her hand?” he thought internally and was afraid. A strange man touching a woman might be perceived improper. “I want to stroke her head,” he thought but pulled his hand back. That was too forward.

    He stared harder, drawn into her being and thought of her life. At 97, alone and childless, her husband long dead, what gave her life meaning? She was born almost a century ago, forty years before he took his first breath. What was her world then, and if she was going in and out of that era as the staff told him, what was she thinking about now?

    Suddenly he remembered a song his father would sing to his mother, who was also named Mary and he began to quietly sing, tentatively at first, the lyrics gliding over and under his gaze. “For it is Mary, Mary, plain as any name can be.”

    Those blue eyes widened and recognition rushed back to meet him. Ralph sang on softly, “But it was Mary, Mary, long before the fashions came…” Now, caution gone, he held her hand and thought he felt the murmur of a squeeze. Mary’s lips stirred, trying to sing with him. It didn’t matter to Ralph that he had always been told his singing was awful. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t remember all the lyrics correctly, he sang on, to her, to his beloved Mother, to all the Mary’s that ever lived.

    Tears shimmered over the blue eyes in a pool of kinship. For a brief moment he imagined he could see his mother’s eyes looking back at him.

    Then the eyes grew weary and closed. Mary’s slight frame relaxed into a peaceful sleep. Ralph let go of her hand and tiptoed out from the room. A nurse was standing in the doorway, wiping tears from her cheek.

    Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. Ralph nodded at the nurse and left her to attend to Mary. He gathered his things and left the in-patient unit. He had errands to run. As he walked out the door, he sang softly, under his breath, “and there is something there, that sounds so square, it’s a grand old name.”

    -Meridian

     

     

     

     

  • Warm Bodies, Cold, Hard Facts

    Qtips

    “What a massive responsibility, being a moral creature”
    ― Isaac Marion, Warm Bodies

    Does this line of questioning sound oh so familiar?  “Why don’t we have enough volunteers to be an Emergency Buddy? How hard can it be to find people willing to be called in the middle of the night to come by our headquarters to get the emergency plan for the district, drive out to the emergency shelter and then get a shelter spot ready for arrival? I mean c’mon, do you not know how important this volunteer job is? Have you actually tried targeted recruiting? There must be scads of retired emergency personnel who would love to use their talents to help us.”

    Well, huh. Why didn’t I think of that the last twelve times I tried targeted recruiting, or maybe I was wrong to try and think out of the box by recruiting those great college students.  Perhaps I should lie to potential volunteers so that they don’t know what the job entails? I’m sure that once they realize we lied to them, they’ll forgive us and won’t do a lousy job just because we trained them improperly .

    There’s a study that indicates companies spend more resources  weeding out lousy employees than they do cultivating superior talent. This lopsided approach often applies to organizational views on volunteer recruitment.

    toxic workers are more expensive than superstar hires

    The more important the volunteer role, the more up front work is required in order to place excellent and ready volunteers. Proper vetting, orientation and training takes time and effort by hard working volunteer managers.

    Sure, warm bodies can fill roles, but cold, hard facts say that

    Warm bodies ultimately:

    Leave abruptly, usually within the first three months

    Do not sync with the organization and remain on the outside

    Can do irreparable harm to clients

    Volunteer managers understand how much effort it takes to cultivate a qualified volunteer. Because we abhor the “warm body” theory, we will continue to be accused of not providing “enough” volunteers for critical roles.

    When pressured by senior management to magically produce more bodies, point to the lack of  harmful behavior by your competent volunteers. Remind them that properly vetted and trained volunteers do not damage the very people we serve and oh, yeah, properly vetted and trained volunteers take time and skill to implement.

    And maybe ask the person this question: “Would you want a hastily recruited and insufficiently trained volunteer working with your mother, father or child?”

    Neither would we.

    -Meridian

     

     

  • It’s 2pm and Everyone is Leaving for the Holidays Except…

     

    laptop

    I’m just going to say it: Volunteers are expected to work holidays. Every single holiday, every single time. No exceptions.

    Sonia, the volunteer coordinator for a busy health care clinic was approached on December 21st last year by the CEO. “We need you to round up a few volunteers to man the front desk on Christmas day so that our receptionists can be with their families. Thanks.”
    Sonia stammered, “But the volunteers want to be with their families too. I don’t know that I can find anyone. A great number of them are going out of town.” The CEO just stared at her and so she hurriedly added, “but I will do my best as always.”

    Ahh, the holidays or as I like to call them, the “hol the heck in the world will I find all these volunteers days”.
    I remember one year being asked to “get” volunteers to go into nursing homes on Christmas day to deliver  baskets of goodies for the staff  who were working that day.

    When suggesting that volunteers could deliver the baskets on Christmas eve or another day, I got a peevish look. “We want it to be for the staff working that day and we want them to you know, remember us for thinking of them on the actual holiday.”

    Oh, so you want the volunteers to spend their holidays marketing, is that it? Then, why are you paying a marketing specialist? And why are we thinking of everyone else on the holidays except our volunteers?

    But back to Sonia who sighed and said, ” I do not ever remember being told to give the volunteers a day off on holidays. Rather, I was always asked to find more so that they could fill in for the droves of staff that took the holidays off. I guess I just wish that organizations would realize our volunteers are people with lives and family. I wish volunteers would be the first ones thought of when my organization considers family needs during special occasions.  And I wish that organizations would properly thank the volunteers who give up their day to help out on holidays with true recognition or a gift or something special. I know my volunteers see through the gifts I buy and pass off as being from the entire staff.”

    It’s frustrating to hear organizations say they value volunteer contributions but fail to treat volunteers as real people who have lives beyond their commitment to us. And really, volunteer managers shouldn’t have to “educate” our management on that fact. Organizations’ managers should have enough people skills to realize that volunteers deserve to also be thought of when planning holiday coverage.

    As management clears out for the holidays, they will turn off the lights and shut their doors. Their laptops and phones and tablets will sit on their desks through the holidays, ready to be utilized, for machines never require time off. Machines are tools without needs, made to be used without consideration.

    But volunteers aren’t just tools now, or are they?

    -Meridian

     

  • Staff Are From Mars, Volunteers Are From Venus, and We Are Earth-in the Middle

    from www.space.com
    from http://www.space.com

    “‎” when men and women are able to respect and accept their differences then love has a chance to blossom ”
    ― John Gray, Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

    Jay, the volunteer manager for a disaster relief organization walked into the monthly staff meeting and took the last seat near the back of the crowded meeting room. The two managers in front of him were snarking about the “annoying always perky operations manager” who stepped forward to give a report on the number of clients served during a recent flood. Jay began to grumble to himself. “Where are the volunteers in this meeting,” he said under his breath. “They are a huge part of these statistics and would love to feel a real bonafide part of this organization. They do everything for us, so why can’t they ever be included in staff meetings?”

    I don’t know about you, but I’ve felt like Jay. Why aren’t volunteers included in staff meetings, celebrations and outings. (and no, having them decorate the Christmas Tree in the staff lounge doesn’t count) Why are we the only ones who think of involving volunteers as equals? Then, when my head was about to blow from my fantasies about never providing another volunteer for you ingrates again, I had a quiet staff member tell me that she felt her job was threatened by a dynamic volunteer. What?????

    Do staff have needs different from volunteer needs and how can we, volunteer managers be the grounded terra firma middle men who are able to intuitively understand both sides? And will thinking about the vastly different needs give us better insight into helping staff and volunteers to integrate? Let’s look at some of these separate needs:

    1. Volunteers need to feel included and valued. Staff need to feel that volunteers will not take their jobs.
    2. Volunteers want to do meaningful work. Staff want help so they too, can do meaningful work instead of laboring over boring paperwork and attending endless meetings.
    3. Volunteers need flexibility. Staff needs a paycheck.
    4. Volunteers want to utilize their skills. Staff wants to feel that their skill-set is not upstaged.
    5. Volunteers want to help. Staff is afraid to let go.
    6. Volunteers want to engage with staff. Staff has deadlines and wants time to work.
    7. Volunteers need teamwork. Staff needs alone time.
    8. Volunteers may be in awe of staff. Staff may be jealous of volunteers.

    We spend a great deal of time trying to educate staff on the treatment of volunteers. Perhaps we can look at staff’s needs as well and take those needs into consideration when introducing volunteers into the mix. Can we reassure staff that we get that they too, have wants and needs when working with volunteers so that they in turn, welcome volunteers?

    I think yes, if we look at it through their eyes. Staff can be intimidated by a highly educated or talented volunteer. Overworked staff just slogging through the day may feel inadequate next to an enthusiastic volunteer who is fresh and able to leave whenever they choose. Staff may have a deadline and not be able to chat with volunteer after volunteer. Staff may have worked hard on a project and may be reluctant to just turn it over to someone who only comes in once a week. So, taking this into consideration, we might:

    Talk to staff before introducing a new volunteer. The old Venus me would have sold a new volunteer by saying, “I’m bringing in Sally, a former CEO and a published expert on human resource management. She brings a wealth of knowledge and experience and will be awesome at working with our clients. She’s a very busy young retiree with lots of energy and talents. I know you will love her!”

    But what Mars staff heard me say was, “Move over, idiot. I’m bringing in Sally, a way better worker than you. She’s smarter and will probably point out every thing you are doing wrong and that’s a lot from what I hear through the grapevine. You’ll have to spend all your time answering questions and listening to her glory day stories and you’ll fall behind in your work. As a matter of fact, they’ll probably hire her which is ironically kinda funny, don’t you think?”

    Eeeck! Maybe I, as Earth should say, “I have this wonderful new volunteer Sally. She is a retired professional who wants to get to know our organization from a starting point and I thought of you and all your skills and knowledge. I am hoping that she will be a good fit for your tasks but I will be checking in with you frequently, especially during her first few times volunteering to make sure that you are getting the kind of help you need. I want you to alert me to any issue you might have with this new volunteer because I know your time is valuable and I want to make sure this is a help, not a hindrance. I know from experience that you will treat her with the respect that will make her a long term volunteer. Thank you for giving her this opportunity.”

    Let’s face it, we volunteer managers are good ol’ Earth, in the middle of staff and volunteers. And since we want to ensure that volunteers are integrated into organizational culture, we may have to mediate that integration in a balanced way by taking into consideration the needs of not just our Venus volunteers but also our Martian staff.

    It can be a tough, mud-filled, seemingly bleak task for us-being the planet in the middle. But, take a moment and look at Earth from space. It is a bright blue haven of all things possible, creative and vibrant. I’ll take being Earth any day.

    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

    -Meridian

  • If I Say No Will You Stop Liking Me or Can We Negotiate?

    like me
    Taylor, a petite millennial, manages volunteers for an agency that pairs mentors with children struggling in elementary school. Taylor recruits, schedules and places the reading buddies who help seven and eight year olds improve their reading skills. One staff meeting day, she was asked to provide volunteers at an upcoming cocktail party given for the mayor and several dignitaries and key donors. Taken aback, Taylor said she didn’t think that her group of volunteers would want to serve drinks.
    “The senior managers looked at each other as if I had declared a mutiny. One snidely asked me if it was too much for me to try or if I was too busy. I couldn’t believe it, but I kind of stammered that I would ask.” Taylor adjusted her glasses and paused. “Ever since that day, they have treated me differently. It’s subtle, but I can feel a coldness about them. It’s as if I committed the ultimate betrayal, although they seem to have no problem questioning each others’ ideas. I guess it’s ok for them, but not for me.”

    Ahh, I can still remember twenty years ago being told that I got the job as a volunteer manager mainly because I was so nice. “Yes!” I shouted in my head.(but not too loudly so as to offend my other thoughts) “I am nice,” I pumped my fist (not too threateningly, more like a sweet hello wave). I prided myself on being nice and after all, that’s what was expected of me, wasn’t it? Yep, what a great job, can’t wait to be nice to some volunteers!
    Well, it didn’t take too long for me to figure out that nice was a personality trait and not a skill. I found I needed some mad skills to actually manage volunteers. “Dang,” my nice self said over a cold beer, “this is much more complicated than I thought!”
    And after a few years, I began to wonder if those random “you’re so nice” comments might just be code for some other concept. Are the following definitions of “nice” the secret meanings of the word?
    Nice=invisible
    Nice=doormat
    Nice=timid, placid, submissive, weak, docile, spineless, wishy-washy
    Nice=quiet, never offering opinion, robotic
    Nice=unable to see the big picture like those in charge.

    Hmm, can nice volunteer managers say no as in “no, the volunteers will not go out in the blizzard to put flyers all over town for your event because you forgot to mail them out?” And, if we say no, will we be disliked?

    Well, it’s not about whether senior management likes us (and really, we know deep down that doormats are not liked, they’re used), it’s about doing our jobs. It’s about being a team player but also an expert in our volunteer base. We know our volunteers and their capabilities and we should not be afraid to voice our opinions on utilizing them. So, in between Dolly Doormat or Negative Ned, is the logical negotiator.

    For example, Negative Ned might shout, “No way dude! Seriously, you want me to round up volunteers right now? Do I look like I have nothing else to do? If you honestly think volunteers just sit around waiting for me to call, then you’re nuts!”
    Or Dolly Doormat might nod her head and smile. “Yes, ma’am, I’ll cancel that presentation at the Ladies’ Auxiliary I had lined up for this afternoon and get right on it. I’m sure those 200 potential volunteers won’t mind my last minute no-show. I’ll just apologize profusely to them and try to explain in my monthly report why there are no new recruited volunteers.”

    Instead, here’s how Noble the Negotiator would answer: “Let me see if I understand this correctly. You need five volunteers in two hours to man a booth at a last minute fair. (re-state the request) That sounds like an important task.(acknowledge that the requester feels the request is important) I have an important presentation today that could possibly give our organization an ‘in’ with the Ladies Auxiliary and have put a lot of effort into making this happen so you can see that I have to be there. (nicely point out that you have work you must do and why it’s important) But let’s figure this out. Can a staff member set up the fair and stay until our first volunteer arrives? (involve the requester or offer alternatives if the request can’t be wholly fulfilled) I will put a trusted volunteer on the phone right now and give him a list to call. Since I will be out in the field, I will have that volunteer keep you updated until I return.” (fulfill the request without owning the lateness or mistake or circumstances that make the request difficult to fulfill)

    There is a danger when we, volunteer managers look at requests from our own emotional prism. When we deem requests “stupid” or “unreasonable,” we lose the objectivity needed to operate in a professional manner. Besides, volunteers deserve to make up their own minds as to whether to drop everything and come in or to subjugate themselves to what we may perceive as a demeaning task. It’s their choice.

    But if we are seeing patterns of refusal, then we can arm ourselves with the data to justify a “no volunteer will do that job” scenario. Keep detailed records of volunteer responses to requests. It can be as simple as “when we call during the day, 82% of our volunteers are already engaged in other activities and cannot come in,” or “of the 43 volunteers called, 100% said no, they were not comfortable serving drinks to donors at a party. Five of them even called it and I quote, ‘inappropriate’.”

    Data always trumps vague, emotional claims such as, “volunteers don’t want to do that!” Knowledge and data are the capital with which to negotiate. We don’t have to be afraid to voice our expert opinion in such a way that we are not perceived as pushing-back or lazy or negative.

    If we become a noble negotiator, we may or may not be liked, but we will be respected.
    -Meridian