volunteerplaintalk

Tag: new volunteer manager

  • Oh BTW, Get 42 Permanent Vols By Next Month-Part 1

     

    Oh BTW, Get 42 Permanent Vols By Next Month-Part 1

    Is this the new volunteer manager job security? A dear colleague and friend to this blog, Eileen from Volunteering Counts in Dudley borough (volunteering counts.org.uk) has astutely pointed out in one of her comments that volunteer managers everywhere should be prepared to undertake new volunteer roles when budget cuts force them to supply volunteers for underfunded programs.

    Ok, sure, but how prepared? Well, I had been on the job at a hospice for less than a year when my supervisor decided to rotate the volunteer coordinators into each other’s regions and so I found myself taking my cute inspirational signs off my newly decorated office wall and settling into a care center location. Here I would be in charge of home team volunteers,  nursing home volunteers and care center volunteers for a 14 bed facility. I felt energized, perfectly jazzed until one afternoon, I was summoned to a meeting with the care center supervisor who informed me that dietary would now be volunteer run.

    “Excuse me,” I choked out.

    “Yes, volunteers will be preparing patients’ meals and you will be in charge of meal plans with the help of a dietician, and you will also be responsible for food procurement, safety, health inspections and training of the volunteers in food management.”

    I think I wet my pants a little at that point. (Maybe that’s why I kept a pair of clean skivvies in a locked drawer all those years)

    I honestly can’t remember every emotion I experienced at that moment. I think I couldn’t feel my fingers. I mean, Saturday evening, Friday evening, Sunday morning, all the traditional time slots that were hard enough to fill on occasion-now I had to fill those permanently? Why hadn’t I listened to my mother and found a real profession?

    Here’s the thing. Volunteer managers everywhere must be ready to have these types of requests dropped into their laps at any time. For most volunteer managers, a great deal of volunteer involvement is determined at meetings in which the VMs are not in attendance. Ideas for expansion, cutting costs or projects are often hammered out in board meetings and sent careening down the slope of middle managers until the edicts land in the laps of stunned volunteer coordinators. And sometimes, these ideas are conceived as a last gasp effort to save a program-“I know, we’ll get the volunteers to do it.”

    I went home and cursed my supervisor. Why me? Honestly, I was terrified, completely afraid that I would never be able to accomplish this task. I calculated that I needed to put at least 42 permanent volunteers in place for all three meals a day, seven days a week. And the God awful hard truth was that it became a long slog.

    When handed a huge project, especially with deadlines, every last millisecond of a volunteer manager’s time, energy and creative focus shifts away from other crucial duties and to the project exclusively. In order to maintain the ongoing programs, a VM has to find some balance and deputize seasoned volunteers into leadership roles.

    When you can’t do everything, you can’t do everything. Identifying key volunteers in preparation for the possibility a big project will materialize is proactive volunteer management and will save your sanity. Ease volunteers into taking leadership roles in existing programs and by ease I mean work alongside them until they are comfortable and you are comfortable in how they handle their roles. But, in my experience, don’t “turn over” a program to someone else if you are in charge. The VM must still be the ultimate person in control and checking in continuously (asking questions, offering support, intercepting challenges) establishes your leadership continuum.

    So, did my project succeed? Yes, it did. It’s still going 20 years later in multiple care centers.

    Was it bone crushing hard?  Oh, goodness, yes, even the smallest of things. I still get throbbing headaches when I smell spilled Ensure and when I see food handlers without gloves.

    Did it take time? I think I missed my son’s graduation from middle school, but he won’t say.

    Would I do it again? If I was younger, yes.

    Was I blissfully optimistic or sadly pessimistic about the possibilities? It depended upon the day I was having. Or whether or not I took my medication.

    Did I learn anything of value? Oh, goodness, so much about so many things.

    Can you share these things? Of course, I will, I promise-the good, the bad and the useable-next time:

    Coming in part two,  A perspective: Takeaways from a huge arse-busting project.

    (At least at this point, you know I survived intact!) (Well, maybe physically anyway.)

    -Meridian

  • I Give 100%, No 125%, No, Wait More Like 200%!

    percents

    “I’m close to quitting, just walking out,” Ruby, a wispy volunteer manager says tersely. “And so are some of the other staff at my organization. I don’t know, I just feel like I have to sacrifice everything for my job. Now, whether or not I feel that because of a certain culture in my organization or if it is just self-imposed, I don’t know. But what I do know is that I feel inadequate when I choose a family outing over a fundraising event on a Saturday or when I feel that I deserve more compensation. And what’s worse is I feel so incredibly guilty having these feelings. I mean, does managing volunteers mean I forsake any and all personal life and needs?”

    Well, duh, Ruby. Or wait, does it? Once you’ve “become” a volunteer manager, does everything personal just fade away into this nirvana of blissful martyrdom?

    Coincidently, a recent article on overworked non-profit workers published in Atlantic Magazine addresses this very idea and one of the interview quotes from this article is:

    “The unspoken expectation is that you do whatever it takes to get whatever it is done for the people who you’re serving,” she says. “And anything less than that, you’re not quite doing enough.” Timm, Jonathan.  “The Plight of the Overworked Nonprofit Employee.”  The Atlantic Aug 24, 2016

    Do we, in the non-profit world sometimes wear our “commitment” like a badge of devotion on our chests? Do we secretly lap up the comments like cans of energy drinks when telling people what we do for a living? “Oh, you’re so selfless,” “I could never do that work,” “thank goodness for people like you.”

    Do we subtly feel this martyr attitude and does that translate into a self-sacrifice that is simmering under our weary feet waiting to burst into burn out? Do we feel guilty when we look at our colleagues who we imagine are selflessly working more and therefore care more? Does a nagging voice whisper, “If this is your calling, then how dare you complain (or ache or fall ill or blink)?”

    So,  are we afraid to voice the following concerns to our superiors for fear of being selfish?

    Asking for more resources (how dare we-precious money and resources need to go to the mission)

    Mindfulness about overwork (if I don’t keep going, someone, somewhere won’t benefit)

    Planning vacations, family time (family will just have to understand, THIS is more important than their needs)

    Needing help with stress over working with tragedy (How can I possibly complain, heck, I have it pretty good compared to the clients I see)

    Asking for a raise (Could I be any more selfish?)

    When the hard stuff, like not enough understanding of what volunteer managers do, or too many requests from too many departments and no way to prioritize, or challenges with staff, or no perceived support starts to whittle away at your commitment, then burnout begins.

    When we are embarrassed or afraid of asking for the help we need, we aren’t just doing a disservice to ourselves, we are actually hurting our volunteers and the very people we are here to help because we will not be any good to them if we are resentful or burned out.

    So, if you have to, tell yourself that asking for the help you need is really about providing the best volunteer management for your clients and volunteers. Frame your requests to your superiors in that way: “In order to provide the best for our clients and volunteers, I will need….”

    Because your “calling” is not to be a martyr, it’s to be a leader.

    -Meridian

     

  • Thank You, Thank You For That Silly Answer, Any Answer!

    painting

    Recently I went on a tour of a historical site with some friends and family. From start to finish, I made sure to ask questions of the tour leader and I frequently poked my group members in their sides so they would answer the questions he threw out. Why was that so important to me? Well, I was actually thinking of volunteer manager Jonas.

    “And then the silence was so awkward,” Jonas said one day, recalling the time he took a large, prospective group of volunteers on a tour of his organization’s headquarters. “I really, really pitched the benefits of volunteering with us. I showed them all the great opportunities to volunteer, I stopped staff in the hallway to say hi, I mean, I was passionate and threw out lots of anecdotal stories to get them thinking. But, then, when we stopped back at the lobby, I asked them what they thought and crickets! No one said anything, they just nodded and looked like they were ready to get their things and leave. I felt like a big balloon had popped.”

    Ahhhhhhhhhh, the silent group. We’ve all had them. Now, it’s not that they’re evil, or mean, or out to make us look bad, these are just groups that have a quiet dynamic. It makes it harder to connect with them, and in my humble experiences, I have found the groups that engage in honest give and take will bond with each other, with you and with the mission. But it takes skill to facilitate a group and real effort to create an atmosphere conducive to meaningful conversation.

    So, what can we do to encourage participation by the groups we train, or speak in front of, or tour with? Here are just a few methods I’ve toyed with over the years:

    Begin by establishing your expectations: Tell your group that you are not a lecturer, you are the group facilitator and that you are extremely interested in their comments and questions.

    Don’t wait until the end to ask questions: Ask several immediately and establish the give and take.

    Make it about them: Do research on their group if you can and speak to that or…
    Be an ignoramus: Ask questions about the group itself and let them school you on their interests, reason to be, etc. But keep in mind, it only works if you show genuine interest in them.

    Never start with hard questions: No one wants to be the first to be wrong. And then, when someone answers the simple questions, you can say, “see, you know more about us than you think!”

    Try a simple yes or no polling question and go around the room, capturing everyone: (thereby making everyone verbalize an answer but without having to be put on the spot) Then you can mentally calculate the stats and ask another question about the results. “Are you surprised at the results?” You can compare your group’s results to other groups or national stats to pique curiosity.

    Look for people who speak to each other and ask a question for the two of them to answer.

    Offer “This is one of the questions other groups have asked” and throw out your own question: Follow up with “what do you think?”

    Use humor and be self-effacing: Let them know you are approachable and not authoritarian.

    Break them into smaller groups: Have them discuss a topic then present to the others if you have time.

    I remember one training group I had. No matter what I did, they would not talk. It was just the wrong roll of the group dynamic roulette wheel. These were the hardest hours (over the course of six sessions) of my training life-my voice went hoarse, I started to babble and finally when I was just about to dismiss them ridiculously early, one of the group members raised their hand. “Thank you, thank you,” I silently breathed, not caring if the question was silly or redundant or even, “do you know that you have a piece of spinach in your teeth?”

    From that day forward, I made a promise to myself to never let a facilitator suffer through the silent treatment. Engaging with groups is an art form. You paint a picture and hope they can find something worth admiring or critiquing or just plain talking about. Sometimes you paint in silence, but that doesn’t mean the connection is not there.

    It just may take your best skills to bring that connection out.

    -Meridian

     

     

     

  • The Volunteer Management Word That Makes My Head Explode!

    explosion

    Hal, a new volunteer manager was feeling pretty good about his recent volunteer recruitment campaign when his supervisor stopped by for a chat. It seems that several senior managers from his organization had just returned from a national conference and they brought back handouts from all of the sessions, including the ones they did not attend. “I’ve got a handout for you here,” Hal’s supervisor said to him, “from the volunteer session. I’d like you to read this over, then call the presenter to learn more about her program and try to implement her recruitment method. I think it would help you.”

    Hal took the handout from the presentation entitled “Six Easy Steps to Recruiting Skilled Volunteers With Staying Power” and read the power point slides. He had heard about some of the recruitment methods before, and was in the process of implementing them, but he called anyway. The presenter was pleased that someone wanted to hear more about her program and she answered Hal’s questions. When Hal explained to his supervisor that he was in the process of implementing many of the presenter’s suggestions, his supervisor quipped, “then why don’t we have enough volunteers?”

    Wait for it, my head’s going to explode! So, ok, how did one little word cause this disconnect between Hal and his supervisor? Did you spot that fiend in the title of the volunteer management presentation?

    Six Easy Steps to Recruiting Skilled Volunteers With Staying Power.

    Did you see it? That slimy, rotten word that absolutely makes volunteer managers’ jobs a living nightmare? The evil word is easy.  Or substitute these similar back-stabbing words: Tried and true, sure-fire, simple, foolproof, fail-safe, reliable.

    My head is calming down now. Why would any decent volunteer expert do that to the rest of us? I wondered that the first time I attended a conference. Fresh faced and eager to learn from experienced volunteer managers, I sucked up the “do this and results will magically appear,” presentation like a Mai Tai on a Friday afternoon. Then I went out and tried to quickly install the methods that promised guaranteed results and failed.  I really, honestly thought I was a complete dimwit because the magic results were anything but magic. (Unless you consider the fact that after I pieced my skull together, I woke up pretty quickly to reality, but that wasn’t their intent, was it?)

    We all have a program or method that has worked out well and we want to share that with each other. That’s awesome and we need to learn from one another. But to imply that the program we’ve created will be a “breeze” to implement only makes other volunteer managers’ heads blow up, because organizational staff who do not fully understand all the skills involved in obtaining, training and retaining volunteers will key onto the words that imply managing volunteers is a “snap.”

    Sorry to rant here, but this has had my temples throbbing for years and years and I still see these treacherous words, in conference session titles, and in internet articles. Besides, my question for the presenter or author is: Why would you want to sell yourself short anyway? Why give the impression that the work you are presenting is without sweat and long hours? I’ll bet you worked your tail off to implement your methods, so why not say so?

    I remember raising my hand and asking questions about the challenges and pitfalls of presenters’ programs and some would just smile and not want to talk about it, and others would reluctantly open up and let the audience know that their programs were fraught with difficulties. How refreshing.

    So, instead of using simplistic words, how about we all give a nod to the complexities of volunteer engagement? Can we not term our offerings a bit more realistically? Instead of using the head-blow upping word easy or any of its evil twins, why can’t we use words like skilled, ambitious, or advanced, complex, or even “God awful hard but worth it?” Why would we ever give the impression that cultivating a volunteer force is simple?

    We know that volunteer management isn’t about tea parties and a few “easy” phone calls. So if instead it’s about real skills and thought and hard, hard work, let’s make sure we don’t give the wrong impression. (And by doing so, keep our heads intact).

    -Meridian (thanks, going to get a Mai Tai now)

  • Huggable Book of Volunteering Stats or Why a Kiddie Pool Can’t Explain the Ocean

    kiddie pool

    “Stats, reports, time management sheets, I’m sick of all of them,” Clara lamented. “None of these truly depicts my day. When I include activities for volunteer retention on my day book, the entries look so superfluous. Unless I write paragraphs as to why spending time with a volunteer is necessary to retain them, it just sounds like I’m having a coffee break all day.” Clara laughs, “sometimes I think I’m just viewed as a caffeine junkie.”

    Yes, stats,  the way we justify our actions. If you, like I, have struggled with showcasing the complex work involved with attaining, training and retaining volunteers, you feel Clara’s pain. Volunteer managers everywhere keep stats on all sorts of activities-impact, volunteer retention, volunteers trained, return on investment (ROI), clients served, events staffed, recruitment efforts, etc. We include anecdotal stories, quotes, pictures and anything else to illustrate the impact of our volunteers on organizational missions and the efforts required to support that work. (Sometimes it feels like bringing a kiddie pool filled with water to describe the ocean.)

    In a recurring fantasy, my Day book  is covered with glittery gold stars and smiley faces and called, “The Doing the Right Thing Day Book.” It is frayed and loved and cherished by the CEO because she believes in doing the right thing above immediate numbers and simplistic reports . Of course in this fantasy I’m also 30 years younger and I actually know how to catch a Pikachu, but I’m off topic here.

    So what if we could report stats that revolved around doing the right thing, even if that meant traditional reporting occasionally fell short? How would that huggable soft leather day keeper look? (Sorry, in my fantasy, the day book is paper based, ’cause you can’t hug excel)

    Here is an excerpt from Week 26 in the “Do the Right Thing” Day book:

    DAY 1 at 9AM:     Trusted my instincts to spend extra time with a 5 year volunteer whose partner has just been diagnosed with cancer. I can see he needs to take some time off and I have placed him on the inactive list thus reducing the number of active volunteers. He may or may not resume volunteering, but, due to his positive experiences volunteering so far, will remain a friend to our organization forever. I will be spending some time to check in on him periodically because I truly hope he returns to volunteering, but also, because I care about him as a person.

    Day 2 at 2PM:  Realized that a situation requiring a volunteer was overwhelming for just one volunteer so took the extra time (three days) to find and enlist the right two volunteers who could support one another while dealing with a very difficult and challenging assignment. Did not meet goal of finding a volunteer in 24 hours, but instead, created a workable solution that avoided one of our excellent volunteers becoming embroiled in a difficult situation, thus retaining two good volunteers for the future and ensuring our client received excellent care.

    Day 3 at 11AM: Temporarily removed a marketing volunteer from staffing events because of recent health challenges. Although volunteer insists that he is physically able to carry boxes, his wife informed me that his doctor has prescribed no lifting or standing for three months. As a result, I reduced the number of available marketing volunteers but salvaged this volunteer’s future potential and eliminated the substantial risk for a workman’s comp situation should this volunteer injure himself while under his doctor’s orders. More importantly, we sent a message to all volunteers that their health and well-being is important to us and we view them as valuable assets. 

    Day 4 at 3:15pm: Spent 45 minutes with a prospective volunteer who admittedly can’t volunteer until sometime next year. This prospective volunteer’s father was helped by our organization and she is interested in giving back, although current commitments are preventing her from taking training. I have set reminders in my calendar for scheduled contact with her throughout the year as I perceived her as an excellent future volunteer. Rushing her at this time will only increase her overload of responsibilities and will cause her to quickly quit. As a result, no new volunteer stat has increased but time spent will pay off in future because this potential volunteer also belongs to several key civic groups that I have been recruiting.

    Day 5 at 6pm: Attended funeral of long-term volunteer who retired due to health reasons more than two years ago. No stat will be affected, but please folks, this is the right thing to do.

    When you think about it, this fantasy Day Book is really a book about trust-trust that volunteer managers everywhere know how to spend their time wisely. VM’s know what to do and how to do it in order to ensure a volunteer program built on excellence, not just for the present, but for the future as well.

    If Executive Directors and CEO’s would just trust their volunteer managers to do the right thing, then stats will fluctuate at times, but will also naturally increase due to the good and hard work put into a volunteer program.

    It’s a huggable fantasy, isn’t it?

    -Meridian

     

  • Volunteering Ointment While the Wound Heals

     

    eagle

    I was reading this article on how volunteering helped a volunteer through her grief and it gave me this warm, familiar feeling, like the cracked and stained coffee cup I reach for every morning. It makes me think of all the volunteers with a story similar to this young woman’s who have applied volunteering as an ointment of sorts on their wounds while they heal.

    I think of Paul, whose beloved wife died so young. His gaping open grief was covered by a thin bandage of keeping busy. Helping others, focusing on someone else’s pain and being surrounded by kind people allowed him a chance to slather on the soothing volunteering ointment each time he came. And he stayed for almost ten years as the  ointment became less necessary, but more of a routine that he was used to and so so good at.

    I think of Judy, whose loss was long ago, but unresolved and ever fresh, who talked about the death of her son as though it had happened twenty minutes before. I think of how she instinctively avoided working with any clients, as though she knew her rawness would just get in the way. But while volunteering behind the scenes, she smeared herself in the listening ears of ever patient staff and volunteers who heard her pain and with encouragement, Judy sought out grief counseling.

    I think of Claire, who had been let go from a long-term and secure job. Her wound was to her psyche, and her face showed the lines of deep self-doubt. Every skill she possessed was slashed open, and each job rejection opened her wound again and again. Claire sought out volunteering like a lost pet who puts its nose against a stranger’s patio door in desperation. Her feelings of worth grew very slowly, but steadily until she shook the mantle of worthlessness and viewed each job rejection as a sign of the times. Eventually she gained employment and was more prepared to walk into her new place with confidence on the mend.

    It’s ironic, because each one of these volunteers was not “retained.” Each one of these “wounded healers” used volunteering as salve while delivering extraordinary work to the organizations they served.

    But they did not stay forever. Their retention lasted as long as the ointment helped them to heal enough that they did not need us anymore. Yes, they left not because we did not need them anymore but because they did not need us anymore.

    And just as we celebrate the release of a rehabilitated injured bird back into the wild, we can celebrate the fact that these volunteers were ready to fly. And we can take some solace in the fact that volunteering helped these wonderful hurting people begin to heal.

    So, should we continue to say that volunteer retention is our end game?  I don’t think so, because personally, I’ll take a soul on the mend over retention any day.

    -Meridian

  • The Conversation We Dread: Pain or Opportunity?

    The_Scream
    Or, in reality, “The Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad, Completely Upsetting, “Don’t Make Me Do It,” “I Think I’m Going to Be Sick” Day. Yes, that should pretty much cover it.

    Having that conversation with a volunteer-you know the one, the one where you have to discuss a complaint during that mean chat that will forever label you a terrible, cold person for hurting the helpless volunteer. You may as well burn the volunteer’s house down too while you’re at it-that’s how soul-less you are.

    So, how do we start a difficult conversation with a volunteer after a complaint has been made? And how do we prepare ourselves to have the confidence to do the right thing without melting down into mush? For what it’s worth, here are a few suggestions that I hope help you.

    Remember that you are the best person for this challenge: You have recruited and cultivated this volunteer. You care about them and will do what is necessary to see them succeed. And leaving them to fail is ultimately more cruel than helping them remain on track. Tip: Keep reminding yourself that clearing the air and guiding a volunteer is a growing experience for all of you and you will get through this.

    Practice your opening line: “I wanted to sit down with you today and chat about how things are going,” is fine, but volunteers really need us to get to the point. The more you dance around the topic, the more uncomfortable it becomes for you and the volunteer. It’s better if you nicely state the complaint up front. “Emma, I wanted to meet with you today, because one of the visitors to our museum called us to say that last Friday you were too busy to show their disabled son where the bathroom was located. You are one of our finest docents and have been for over five years now and I want to hear your side of the story. Do you recall this particular incident?” Tip: Tell yourself to use the exact words of the complaint-don’t water them down because the volunteer deserves the opportunity to respond to the exact charges that were brought.

    Don’t apologize for the conversation: Starting out with “I’m so sorry to call you in for this,” or “I hate that we have to talk about this” creates the impression that your organization’s ethical standards are meaningless. Tip: Tell yourself that being neutral, not apologetic helps the volunteer think and respond more clearly.

    Assure the volunteer that you are open-minded and fair but don’t put words in their mouth: “Emma, we want to hear your side of the story,” or, “Emma, let’s talk about what happened,” is better than saying, “I’m sure the complaint is unfounded,” or “this must be a misunderstanding.” Tip: Tell yourself that if the complaint is indeed a misunderstanding, then it will surely become obvious and not to worry. If the complaint is well founded, then you have an amazing opportunity to help this volunteer regain their footing.

    Don’t diminish the person(s) who made the complaint: Saying, “don’t worry, this person complains about everyone,” or “they probably just had a bad day,” negates the actual complaint. Tip: Tell yourself that bridging relationships is one of your strong skill sets and seeing both sides validated is a chance to bring both sides together.

    Allow ample time for discussion: Here is the area in which you will excel at nice-guy volunteer management. These conversations ebb and flow-but the savvy volunteer manager rides the spoken waves with the recurring message that the volunteer’s time and effort is invaluable and their concerns are worth hearing and discussing, even if their actions are in the wrong. Tip: Trust your instincts to tell you when you know the volunteer is satisfied that their feelings, opinions and aspirations are validated. That is when you can move forward with a resolution.

    Follow up with diligence: This step takes you from a manager to a leader. Speak with both parties after your initial conversation to ensure that the resolution works for both and that there are no lingering issues. Tip: Use your best mediation skills to assure both parties that your goal is to provide the finest volunteer involvement possible and that you believe in each person. Keep following up periodically until you see the resolution has been met.

    We can view difficult conversations in the same way we view traveling to a new place. We can tell ourselves that we will hate the new place by thinking things like “It’s going to be too hot,” “I will hate the food,” “the people are too strange,” etc. That usually becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Or, like the person who welcomes traveling somewhere out of the comfort zone,  we can entertain the idea that this new experience will help us grow, both as a manager and leader.

    Choosing to grow and embrace challenging conversations will strengthen not only your program, but yourself as well. So, while it is perfectly normal to dread a difficult conversation, don’t let the opportunity to excel go to waste.

    You’re not the bad guy, you’re the leader.

    -Meridian

     

  • May I “Trouble” You For a Plan?

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    “There was something about Jules,” Jake recalled, “something just off. She didn’t seem to connect with the program nor with other staff and volunteers. She never looked me in the eye. She made off the wall comments to other volunteers.She even started to call me after hours with odd requests about volunteering; for example, she called me one Sunday night to see if it would be okay to bake doggie cookies to bring to any staff that owned dogs . Frankly, I had an uncomfortable feeling about her but had no idea what to do about it because she passed our background check.”

    Oh boy. We deal with all types of people who are potential volunteers. And unless we are conducting clinical psychological testing sessions with each one, we have to pretty much trust our instincts and judgement when working with volunteers who set off that gnawing gut feeling that something is just “off.”

    But. on the flip side, we also walk alongside some pretty amazing people who might be going through common personal issues that render them sensitive such as:

    Loneliness/Socially ostracized

    Grief/Loss of job/Loss of home/Loss of identity

    Illness/Caregiving

    So, if the overwhelming majority of volunteers are wonderful, then isn’t it overkill to treat every volunteer as potentially snapping? On the other hand, do we blissfully think we can fix everyone’s challenges by our cheery encouragement? Or is there a professional medium?

    I recall a brand new volunteer, Kristof, who had a very strong, almost in your face personality. He passed all background checks. He said the right things in training. But a long-term volunteer, Jim, who was a fellow member of a club Kristof belonged to, told me in confidence that Kristof had threatened to hit a fellow club member.

    Now what do we do with second-hand knowledge? Could I hold that against Kristof? Was he a violent man? I hadn’t witnessed violent behavior, but proactively,  I assigned Kristof to a seasoned, mentoring volunteer. Also, in the agreement that Kristof and all other new volunteers signed, it stated that he was under a six month probationary period during which he would be evaluated and could be terminated at any time for rule violation, including threatening or inappropriate behavior.

    Sure enough, after about three weeks, one of the mentoring volunteers came to me and said that Kristof had made a threatening gesture towards him. It seems that Kristof did not appreciate being told that he could not go and do whatever he wanted.

    So, I called the head of security, Charles and asked him to accompany me and a senior manager in a meeting with Kristof. Thank goodness for Charles. He stood like a statue in the closed doorway, saying nothing, but speaking volumes about our seriousness. I talked with Kristof about the presumed threat. He got angry and said to me, “I see what this is about. I know what you are doing.” I reiterated our policy and he looked at Charles. “I don’t want to be here anyway,” he said. “I quit.”

    We walk a fine line here. Being proactive with volunteers prevents surprises and even tragedy down the line. Here are a few things to keep in mind when those little red flags start to flutter before your eyes:

    1. Be aware and monitor-enlist trusted volunteer mentors to help monitor all new volunteers
    2. Have expectations and rules written out and signed by each volunteer
    3. Put probationary periods in place for all new volunteers
    4. Never counsel volunteers alone
    5. Involve security if necessary
    6. Document all “red flag” behavior
    7. Create a step by step procedure to address situations before one arises
    8. Script a conversation that is neutral, professional yet firm
    9. Involve appropriate staff members within the organization
    10. Know risk management assessments, volunteer rights and legal pitfalls

    While volunteer managers excel at coaching, inspiring, mentoring and cultivating volunteers, we cannot stick our heads in the sand. Nice people and nice organizations can sadly sometimes be a place that feels right for folks with less than honorable intentions.

    Was Jake wise to be concerned about Jules? Yes, because he trusted his instinctive ability to lead. With his heightened awareness, he could then proceed to monitor and/or cultivate Jules’ volunteering. Having a plan in place to act quickly and professionally does not mean that you are suspicious of everyone and everything. It just means that you are prepared to handle difficult situations should they arise. And you are prepared to be a leader.

    -Meridian

     

     

     

  • See, Hear, Then Feel

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    “I walked into this position without any experience,” says Miriam, a tiny freckled redhead with sea blue glasses. “I had no idea what to expect since I had never worked with volunteers before. My supervisor told me to come in with a purpose, to take charge. They gave me a volunteer manual so that I could train new volunteers and a list of rules.” Miriam sighed. “No one encouraged me to listen to the existing volunteers, to hear their stories, to get their history. Actually, a couple of long-term volunteers wanted me to shadow them, to see what it is they do but I felt like my manager wanted me to establish the program without too much volunteer input. For whatever reason, I didn’t shadow those volunteers and now I think I regret that.”

    Oh boy. Walking into an established program is tough. How do you meet the expectations of the organization yet give power to the volunteers? How much weight do you give to how things were done before? How much immediate control do you need to establish? Is there a happy medium?

    I remember the day I walked into an established program. I was scared because I had no idea how the volunteers did what they did. How can someone who knows nothing, tell them how to volunteer? How could I train new volunteers with no idea of what it was like?

    Fortunately, a lifesaver named Mary took pity on me. Mary had been volunteering for some time and she saw how lost I was and because, luckily she wanted me and the program to succeed, she burst into the office one day and took my arm. “C’mon,” she said, “I want to take you with me to meet my hospice patient.”

    She drove me to this nondescript house. Mary explained, “the caregiver is a neighbor who took the patient into her home after the patient’s husband died. They had no children.” We knocked and entered the modest home which to me, felt like a labyrinth of secrets and unknown societies. The patient, Emma, a child’s smile touching the corners of her lips, watched as Mary greeted her caregiver and neighbor, Francine. I was introduced to both and I folded myself inconspicuously into a corner to observe. Francine, who was going out on errands while we sat with Emma, whirled around the living room, searching for keys, lists of groceries, and gathering papers to drop at the bank. Mary’s visit was her once a week chance to get her errands done. With a manic intensity, Francine showed Mary where everything she could possibly need was located, all the while assuring us that she would return as quickly as possible. There was this wild energy in the room. I couldn’t look away from the enormous responsibility of Francine.

    But then I watched calm Mary, who had been gently stroking Emma’s hand while steadily gazing into her eyes. “Just a moment,” Mary said to her as she got up from Emma’s side. She walked over to Francine who had just checked her purse again and was opening the door to leave, still mumbling over and over that she wouldn’t be gone long. Mary gently wrapped her arm around Francine’s shoulders and said, “you are doing a remarkable job. We can all see how difficult this is and you are doing it with grace. You need to know what a blessing you are to Emma.”

    And then it happened. I heard the catch in Francine’s voice. I saw her shoulders rise and her expression change. I felt the waves of encouragement wash over her. I experienced the renewal she felt.
    And in that brief moment, in that tiny living room, Mary opened up the world of volunteering to me.

    Being able to connect with our volunteers as they change the lives of those we serve is a precious gift. The moments we are privileged to witness inspire us, teach us and equip us to enlist others in important work.

    Our volunteers are teachers too. From them we learn to see, to hear and to feel. And then, armed with those gifts in our fingertips, we can put our rules and expectations in place.

    -Meridian

  • Frustration

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    “It’s just so frustrating,” volunteer manager Elsie says. “I have this volunteer, Abbie. She is without a doubt, the most talented artist I have ever met. She has a heart and soul full of giving. So why am I frustrated? Well, we have asked Abbie to create posters for our program and she readily agreed. Everyone here knows her talent and is excited to see her work, but Abbie is continually chatting up the staff, starting posters over, and in general just wasting time. I nicely try to remind her that we have deadlines and needs, but she continues to drag things on and on. I’m spending an awful lot of time with her because she brings so much potential to the table.”

    Oh boy, the volunteer who frustrates. I’ve had them, and I’m sure you’ve had them too. I remember a volunteer who was so talented, but so needy, a volunteer who was so accomplished but so critical, one that was so loved by staff, but went so far off the rails.

    One in particular stands out. I’ll call her Tanya. Tanya had this incredible ability to connect with family members. She could enter a room and be a trusted insider within an hour. Watching her engage with a devastated family was like standing at the edge of a powerful waterfall. The sheer energy was awesome.

    But, away from a client and family, Tanya was all drama. Her life was upside down, inside out in a whirlpool of turmoil. For years, I was her sounding board. For years I soothed her spirit and dried her tears, all because I witnessed such potential in her. I would think, “if only she could stop fighting with her family,” or, “if only she wouldn’t look to stir the pot all the time and instead concentrate on her gifts.”

    For years I hoped she would view her life the way she viewed her volunteering. I cared deeply about her and, just as we care about all of our volunteers, wanted to see her succeed, not only in volunteering, but in life. She had the personal tools to be great. It killed me to see her waste that by alienating and fighting with friends, peers and relatives.

    One day Tanya turned on me. I left her to simmer and take time off and she came back as if nothing happened. But then, she turned on me again and this time stabbed me in the back. Fellow volunteer coordinators sympathized and refrained from saying, “I told you so,” even though they had warned me that this would happen.

    Do I regret trying to mentor Tanya? No, I don’t. Am I bitter? No, honestly not, because I saw so many clients benefit from her extraordinary talent. Would I do it again? That’s a tough one. How do you look at a formidable waterfall and try to keep it from breaking the rocks below?

    We all will occasionally interact with people who frustrate us because we are in the business of cultivating potential and it’s hard to watch incredibly talented people sabotage themselves. We care about our volunteers and wish them well in all aspects of their lives.

    But maybe, part of the frustration is in trying to change people. Is that really our job? Is getting involved in a volunteer’s personality traits a part of developing great volunteers?

    Now as I look back, I think that a great deal of my frustration with Tanya came from the idea that I could change her, make her a “better” person instead of accepting her for who she was and concentrating on her volunteering. And really, who am I to think that I could make her perfect, that I could control that energy?

    So, I still feel a small pang of frustration, but really not as much with Tanya, but with myself for being more of an enabler than a volunteer manager.

    My take away, I guess is to be careful, because sometimes, when standing on the mossy edge of that powerful waterfall, you can slip and fall in.

    -Meridian