volunteerplaintalk

Tag: charities

Humbled

Managing volunteers is very much like attending a life university in which there are classes on leadership, psychology, history, arts, health, philosophy, science and sometimes when you get lucky enough, quantum physics. We not only learn from our volunteers, but also each other, our clients, and our staff. No wonder we brush off the day-to-day hard stuff. We’re here to learn and grow.

Sometimes, that learning is tiny, almost imperceptible like a diamond lying in the dust under our feet until a shaft of sunlight illuminates the sparkle and only then, we stop to pick it up and turn it over in our hand, enthralled by the worth of such a tiny object.

Dot was a snip of a woman, outliving her husband by years, childless, left alone with her money and an emptying change purse of friends. She came to the hospice care center, her mind and demands intact and she could speak about the service aboard cruise lines as I could tell you where to find the best deal on hot dogs. She came with a short list of foods she would eat and an even longer list of those she would not. It was challenging for the volunteers who cooked in the kitchen and I tried to help them as much as possible to not become discouraged by difficult demands and critiques.

One morning after hearing the food stories of the previous day, I noticed that potato pancakes were on Dot’s “will eat” list and I thought of my deceased grandmother who had made them from scratch. Surely, I reasoned, scratch potato pancakes would calm Dot’s critical tongue, so I tied on a ruffled apron and got to work. I fancied myself on an episode of Iron Chef and put my heart and soul into 3 perfectly cooked pancakes. Feeling flush with satisfaction, I covered them with the tenderness of a new mother and brought them down to her room. She was looking out the window as I knocked.

“Good morning,” I chirped as she fixed me with eyes of steel. “I have something special for you, Dot.”

“What is it?” she growled, a big cat cornered in our prettily decorated trap.

I gently removed the cover, exposing my precious gift as I approached her tray table. “Potato pancakes, I made them just for you,” I said, breathless, waiting for that appreciative look I’d come to crave.

Dot looked at me then down at the plate. She inspected the pancakes as though they were secretly holding explosives and then she looked back at me. “Take them away,” she said with a wave of her hand.”Everybody with any sense knows you put black pepper in potato pancakes.” With that her gaze turned to the window again. I was dismissed.

Crushed like a flower beneath the stampeding herd, I headed back to the kitchen and scraped the three chef worthy pancakes into the garbage. I continued my day, the sting of rejection clouding my happiness.

I packaged that experience and unwrapped it later at home, letting my thoughts go anywhere they wanted. Why was she so ornery? Why couldn’t she just acknowledge my gift for what it was? Why did this hurt? Why do I bother?

Then, a prick of sunlight set itself on the dusty diamond. I began to ask myself these questions: Why did I assume she wanted those pancakes without my asking? Why did I cook them for her in the first place? Why, if I wanted to be of service, was this about me and my feelings?

From that day on, I tried to be better at focusing on the client and by extension, any volunteer or friend or family member or staff member instead of myself. I began to ask more questions and listen less to my voice. I began to free myself from personalizing everything.

When I would help out in the kitchen and take an order from a patient, I would ask them, “how do you want that prepared?” It’s amazing how many ways you can prepare toast, for instance-white, wheat, rye, pumpernickel, lightly toasted, toasted dark, dry or with butter or olive oil, whole or cut into two or four, rectangular or triangle-shaped, with or without jelly or peanut butter or honey or chocolate or maybe hummus. But the point was to give the person what they wanted without making them feel like a burden or without a self congratulating experience.

I have been fortunate over the years to be humbled again and again, especially at times when I started to think that I just knew more than everybody else.

Humility is one vastly underrated quality. It instills a sense of peace and curiosity and just might make someone like Dot feel a heck of a lot less captured.

And oh, I now make potato pancakes with black pepper in them, because everybody knows that’s the way you do it.

-Meridian

March 9, 2016
The Why? Parade

http://www.huntingtonbeachparade.com/archives/huntington-beach-parade-huntington-beach-high-school-marching-band-4/

A report on the Giving in Hard Times Project that attempted to increase volunteering levels in the UK showed that none of the employed approaches increased volunteering, according to Peter John, professor of political science and public policy at the School of Public Policy, University College London. The conclusion of this report in Professor John’s words was “finding out that something did not work means more research can discover something that does.”

Ok, that’s an honest conclusion and implies that recruiting volunteers is not as easy as some might think. You know, for some odd reason, this makes me think of comedian Louis C.K.’s hilarious riff on children who continually ask “why” to every answer given until a parent incoherently rattles off meaningless garbage or just yells at the child. Sometimes organizations repeatedly ask volunteer managers “why are there no volunteers” without hearing or understanding our answers, much like four-year old tykes. It goes something like this:

Senior Manager Gwen: Esther told me there were not enough volunteers at the Golf Tournament on Saturday. Can you tell me why?

Volunteer Manager Toby: Well, there were 10 really capable volunteers in attendance, as per the original request, just three short of the last-minute requested number.

SM Gwen: Well, why weren’t there 13 volunteers there?

VM Toby: There were several reasons, the biggest one being that we had ten volunteers lined up and Esther asked for three more on Friday at 4pm. We made numerous calls, but were not able to procure extra volunteers.

SM Gwen: Why couldn’t you reach more volunteers? You say we have a hundred volunteers on our list, why couldn’t you get three more if you actually called everyone?

VM Toby: Mainly because not every volunteer is available last-minute and our volunteers are very busy people with jobs and families and other commitments. Most volunteers are not home at 4pm. I know this because I have had multiple requests for last-minute volunteers.

SM Gwen: Why are they unavailable? Didn’t they sign up to help us?

VM Toby: Of course they did and they do; if I might show you last month’s volunteer hours, you will see that we increased volunteer participation 20% over the month before.

SM Gwen: I’m not interested in stats right now. Why then do I have a golf tournament coordinator who had to stay an extra hour to collect and tally all the score sheets?

VM Toby: Yes, I was told that by our lead volunteer, Ben who by the way was a professional events coordinator for over ten years. However Ben said that volunteer staffing was more than adequate and that some volunteers did not have enough to do. He also mentioned that the scores were not tallied on time because the system for collecting them was chaotic. He offered to help, but was rebuffed.

SM Gwen: Huh. Be that as it may, 13 volunteers were requested. So why can’t you recruit people who are available to us, like people who aren’t doing anything like the ones who have no jobs and no commitments?

VM Toby: Well, because typically, people who don’t do anything don’t do anything for a reason. Mostly, they don’t wish to volunteer. We try, but they don’t follow through.

SM Gwen: C’mon. It can’t be that hard.Why can’t you just convince them? Do you need one of our marketing people to come talk to recruits?

VM Toby: Thank you, no. From my extensive experience, volunteers need to hear a message directed at their wants and needs, not a general marketing message meant mainly for donations..

SM Gwen: Why are you taking that attitude with me?

VM Toby: Because I feel like you are calling me incompetent and incapable, of which I am neither. Recruiting volunteers takes skill and I have recruited and retained forty productive volunteers in the past two years. Besides, I also weed out inappropriate people as well, It’s not about numbers here, it’s about great, professional people volunteering for our organization. I’m proud of our volunteer force .Last minute requests will always be hard to fill, but I willingly do my best every time.

SM Gwen: Then why can’t Esther get 3 volunteers when she needs them? Three, just three?

VM Toby: Ok, because I’m stupid and lazy and I just want to collect a paycheck! I come in late, leave early and spend hours at lunch. I could care less about this mission and just want to find another job! Recruiting is easy, managing volunteers is a breeze, any idiot can do it, all right?

Yeah, kind of like answering a four-year old’s why parade. Even a well-thought out attempt by highly qualified people to increase volunteer rates proved that volunteer recruitment is a complicated and nuanced task.

So my why question to organizations is: Why aren’t volunteer managers judged on the number of competent and productive volunteers professionally recruited and managed, instead of on the perceived handful of phantom always available mind-less volunteers who are unavailable last-minute?

-Meridian

March 2, 2016
The Two Forks and Timing

Icebreakers: I could never really get the hang of using them at the first meeting when training hospice volunteers. I usually got eye rolls and polite “oh here we go” smiles so I opted for a more conversational start to training new volunteers who had real expectations for a serious mission.

I did however, develop a few exercises of my own that I introduced into the middle of volunteer training. Admittedly, these were often self entertaining and helped keep me engaged and I tried to deliver them with a twinkle so that the volunteers understood that the subject at hand was not just about doom and gloom. Hopefully they saw a lighter, quirkier side that prepared them to view patients and families with appreciation for the diverse and sometimes absurd situations that might arise.

One exercise for a small group was “two forks.” I asked the volunteers to arrange two identical forks in any setting they wanted. I told them to just arrange them on the table however they envisioned them at the moment. After the volunteers arranged the two forks, I would “interpret” their arrangement with phrases such as, “you are very open minded” or “you are extremely creative.” Teens especially liked this exercise. They would smile wryly and mentally call me out on my “game” but they would play anyway and seemed to enjoy the spoof of psychological testing. (I always did “fess up” and tell the volunteers that it was all made up) But then we would seriously discuss volunteering with various personalities and how to best connect with folks.

Another exercise that I used in group training was the personality test. I downloaded a simple quick personality test with broad results and tweaked the questions to represent volunteering scenarios. I asked the volunteers to record their answers on their paper and then tally up their score. I then read the “results” according to the score ranges. For instance, those with a score within 10-20 were introspective while 90-100 were very outgoing.

But I added my own twist to the test results. I made up silly outcomes for each personality type based on volunteering with a patient or family member such as, “it is said that this personality type because of their bubbly personality ends up talking so much about their recent family cruise that the family member actually experiences seasickness.”

About halfway through the result reading, the shocked looks turned to laughter and relief. “Oh you got us,” the volunteers would say. But it wasn’t just for comedy relief. We then went on to discuss the different ways a well meaning volunteer could over step their boundaries and reiterated how to keep active listening in mind. Those were productive conversations.

One thing I did learn in years of training was that timing is everything. Acting wacky or introducing quirky subjects too soon destroys the trainer’s credibility. Once trust and sincerity is established, then comedy relief and diverse teaching methods will be much more readily accepted. The same goes for introducing deep subjects. Volunteers have to be ready in order to really digest profound information.

My barometer of a class’ comfort level was always predicated on the day the class got up and freely helped themselves to coffee and snacks while chatting warmly with one another. It usually took two sessions to establish that level of comfort and trust. (I always taught six 3 1/2 hour sessions for initial orientation).

But once that comfort level was achieved, then I could introduce really fun activities, and on the flip side, speakers with really deep and profound experiences to share. Classes laughed and cried, but only after we all felt really safe with each other. Honestly, those intimate moments with new volunteers are memories so precious to me, I can’t even begin to describe them. How fortunate I am to have them.

Yes, timing is everything. Volunteers look to us to illuminate the way and we should be honored to own that responsibility. Providing volunteers with deep meaning enhanced with light and laughter takes some sense of timing. But when you get it just about right, it fills your soul with the most amazing moments.

Training volunteers creates a bond with them from the very beginning. We neither have to be just ultra serious nor just silly and entertaining. We only need to make them comfortable and care that they learn and feel a part of our team. This sincerity paves the way for the information you want to present.

So, don’t be afraid to have some fun.(When the timing is right of course) Arrange your own two forks, create a personality test, make up an icebreaker and watch the magic happen!

-Meridian

February 17, 2016
The “Blockholm” Syndrome
From Mom.Me

Javier is a former volunteer coordinator for a large non-profit agency. He now works as an insurance representative and jokes that he was hired because he had access “to all these retired people.” As he runs his fingers through his hair, he says. “I often regret that I left my volunteer coordinator job. I really thought that I was doing fulfilling work and I had some ideas to engage more volunteers, but at the same time, I felt really, oh, I don’t know, unimportant. Besides myself, we had a volunteer manager, Kristen, and another volunteer coordinator, Gail. Kristen would often vent her frustrations at senior management’s lack of understanding of volunteer services. She would come down from a meeting and roll her eyes and say, ‘Well, we got overlooked again.’ I think that affected Gail and me a lot. We began to notice little things more, like not being recognized for organizational accomplishments, not being remembered on Volunteer manager appreciation day, and other things, like not being called on in staff meetings to offer opinions. I started to think that I wasn’t producing enough, so I started looking for another job. When I landed one, I gave my notice. I’m not sure how I could have changed the way I felt, but I wish I could have.”

Tragically, Javier is not alone and while it is really crass of me to compare volunteer managers to survivors of traumatic hostage taking, aka the stockholm syndrome, I just wanted to point out that we, volunteer managers can easily start to believe that we are not as valuable as other staff based on our perceived treatment of volunteer services. Our self-worth can be “blocked” when we think that the volunteer department is the last one to be recognized, funded, or given educational opportunities. For those who are the sole volunteer coordinator, it is especially difficult, because who the heck is there to commiserate with besides the little stuffed tiger that sits on the back of the desk? (you know the one with the huge blue eyes a volunteer brought back from her trip to India).

Others might point out, “well, jeepers, the volunteers praise you all the time and lots of them are highly educated!” But true as that may be, do we not equate volunteer praise to the cuteness of a parent’s praise and think, “Yeah, well, they have to say that, they’re my volunteers!”

Deep down, do we not wish upper management could see what volunteers see in us? Do we long for that one on one with senior management so that they could feel our passion? Do we secretly hope that one of our more respected volunteers would burst into the CEO’s office and declare, “look, you have got to come to your senses and realize how valuable your volunteer manager is and I’m here to make you see that. Now sit!”

If we are not careful, we may become victims of the Blockholm syndrome. We can get dejected, depressed and frustrated as we look through the prism of low self-worth. So, how to keep from being “blocked?” Here are just a few suggestions:
1. Keep all notes of praise-as a matter of fact, write down verbal praise after the fact and keep these in a handy drawer. You will be shocked and buoyed by the rapid accumulation of kind words.
2. Deflect flippant unkindness-remember, snide comments are all about the speaker, not anything you’ve done.
3. Check in with people who care about you. Hearing from those who lift you up helps and don’t dismiss volunteer praise. The volunteers are smart, accomplished, perceptive people and their praise should never be discarded.
4. Continue to advocate for the great work you do. There are plenty of staff who notice your accomplishments even if they don’t vocalize continuous praise. Actually, praise everyone around you-they probably feel overwhelmed and undervalued just like you. They will return the favor.
5. Find ways to get volunteers into the limelight. Great publicity usually shines brightly all around.
Volunteer managers are amazing individuals who impact the lives of so many people from clients to volunteers to family and friends to other staff members. While we usually humbly state that we don’t need praise to function, we too, are human and sometimes feel under valued by circumstances around us. Don’t let it block your self-worth.

In the words of a volunteer, “I owe so much to my volunteer coordinator. She trained me, spent time with me and showed me the way. She was patient and kind and now I am so proud of the work I do. I am a better person because of her.”

Let’s all unleash our potential by focusing on the positive instead of letting the blockholm syndrome define who we are.

-Meridian
February 10, 2016
Maybe I Need a Good Cry

Kenny, a part time volunteer manager recently said, “my brain is sometimes so overloaded that I feel like I’m going to explode. I have duties as a thrift store manager which is a full time job overseeing all the donations, ordering supplies, keeping the store clean and organized and then I also manage about 20 volunteers who are really a different type of managing from my four employees. I’m constantly juggling all the needs of customers, staff and volunteers. I feel like the constant stress is just building up and there’s no way to get rid of it.”

Stress is a volunteer manager’s BFF. It looks over our shoulder as we guzzle our first cup of coffee and crawls into bed with us at night. It’s hanging around from the first stir of our PC’s until well after we arrive home still thinking about whether we should make one more phone call to make sure the volunteers have what they need for that event in the morning. Our jobs are never done and there is hardly ever a break from that needy shadowy voice that whispers, “you should have called volunteer Emma to see how her trip went”. We listen to volunteers’ stories in the grocery store. We field calls and emails after hours. We are recruiting as we wait for that donut and coffee. We show up at events on weekends, fill in for volunteers that call off, and network while getting our cars washed. It’s no wonder that we live with the annoying grip of continuous stress. So how do we unwind? How do we duck into a side door to ditch stress for just a few moments? Well, here are a few suggestions from volunteer managers I have known:

Do something ridiculously silly: Go sing at a karaoke, dress in a costume and attend a non-costume party, play a crazy board game with friends. Let loose and make fun of yourself and laugh until your sides hurt. When you are genuinely laughing, your focus is on the fun and those nagging thoughts about how you forgot volunteer Mary’s grand dog’s birthday are banished, thus giving yourself a much needed break from the seriousness of work.

Build something: Put on your old clothes, get your hands dirty and dig a moat around your house, make a 3 foot statue of your ex, construct an outside igloo in summer, or make Mount Everest out of paper clips . Concentrating on the task at hand frees your mind from the worry that staff member Giselle will make 87 year old volunteer Dan carry all the boxes of event stuff up two flights of stairs which will probably give him a heart attack .

Hide for a day: Go off the grid and bar the door. Watch that movie about bugs who sing, sleep, or practice your banjo. Do not clean, answer any communication nor entertain guests. Make it a good 24 hours of nothing. Eat whatever you feel like eating and don’t comb your hair. Banish your stress buddy by unplugging and binge watching those television shows about two roommates who are really zombies. By immersing yourself in a fantasy escape, you can artificially express your emotions without consequence and “care” about something that is not real nor consequential.

Let the sadness escape: Spend some time watching the saddest movie ever, read a poignant story, find a documentary on tragedies and cry until you are dehydrated and reaching for the Gatorade. In the helping professions, we deal with true sadness and tragedy every day and yet we know that breakdowns do not help our clients so we stifle sadness. It needs to come out so let it escape with “Terms of Endearment” or “Sophie’s Choice” and a six pack of boxed tissues.

Find a qualified BFF. Someone has to understand exactly what we are going through, so find a person who has either been a volunteer manager or has an ability to relate to your frustrations and confide in them regularly. Of course they must be discreet, but you can use fake names when speaking about that volunteer that keeps going to the CEO about the lack of proper bathroom tissue in the stalls. Sometimes we just need a respected good friend to tell us we’re not nuts.

I’m sure you have other great ideas about how you de-stress and honestly, we all would love to hear them, especially if there are ways to mini de-stress during workdays.

Stress is always going to be a part of a volunteer manager’s job so we need to keep it from buying us matching best friends forever bracelets. Hang on, I think “Titanic” is just about to come on. Sniff

-Meridian

February 3, 2016
“It’s Good to Remember, Remember With You”

With his permission granted, I want to share a song written several years ago by Michael Becker, a talented singer and songwriter who strove to capture the connections volunteers make with folks suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s disease. Mike spent many years not only volunteering with people at end of life but also inspiring new volunteers to follow their hearts. I’ve been humbled witnessing Mike playing his song for patients, caregivers, family members and volunteers who quietly relate to that difficult journey through memory loss. As Mike says, “I’m just grateful to be able to share my experiences through my music.”

Please enjoy

-Meridian

January 27, 2016
Eureka! I’ve Discovered the Value of a Volunteer!

Volunteer manager Lilly looked up to see the CEO standing in her doorway. “I’m trying to remember our volunteer, Gladys Williams, can you tell me about her?”

“Oh,” Lilly said, “Gladys was a wonderful volunteer who did office work in finance. She volunteered there for about 12 years, even before I got here. I attended her funeral last month.”

“I think I remember her. Small lady, white hair?”

“Ahhh, yes,” Lilly said thinking that description fit any number of office volunteers and added, “she always wore a purple ribbon in memory of her husband.”

“I think so. Well, we were just told that she left us $25,000 in her estate. I thought you should know.” The CEO paused for a moment. ” Now I’ll have to let finance know too.”

I read an article recently about the generous surprise gift bequeathed to a Detroit museum from the estate of a 19 year volunteer. While the incredibly benevolent support of her organization speaks volumes, the tone of the article made me wonder how this volunteer would have been remembered (beyond the staff that obviously cared about her) had she not given such a sizable donation. And exactly how much does a volunteer have to give before the fundraising arm of our charities becomes giddy?

We all know our volunteers regularly donate money and goods, which seems to now be a trendy topic among the fund-raising gurus who gleefully point to these stories as if they’ve discovered a whole new vein of gold. But again, how much do volunteers have to give in order to be smiled at and afforded that extra bit of silky attention normally reserved for the donor crowd? Is it $1,000, $10,000, $24,999 or more? Will $50,000 pressure upper management into inviting a volunteer to an exclusive luncheon? Will $27,856 make the organization really, sincerely interested in the wonderful work that volunteer is doing?

So, I’ve hatched a plan in the basement laboratory of my brain. I think all volunteer managers should include an estate planned giving form with our volunteer applications. We should coerce our volunteers into committing to an amount they will bequeath after they die. Then, that amount should be printed in bold type on their badge. On a really valuable volunteer, it will look something like this:

That way, at a glance, everyone in the organization can see the worth of that volunteer. Now granted, those, like volunteer Mary above, who are not giving very much may be relegated to the nameless rabble heap, but hey, at least some of our volunteers will achieve recognition.

And so, when volunteer Imani holds the hand of that distraught client and gently dries flowing tears while staying that extra two hours until family members arrive, her pledged gift of $14,000 might just get some notice.
After all, it’s all about the ~~money~~, er work, isn’t it?
-Meridian

January 20, 2016
New Year’s Resolutions On the Half Shell
Hello 2016! Well, the dreaded “I have to make” new year’s resolutions time is here. It’s inevitable, just like dental checkups, taxes and frantic binge preparations before a volunteer training session. So, unlike last year’s resolutions that jetted out the window after a few days, hopefully this year’s resolutions will be kept. (at least until I’m fired or I’m sent to ’employee counseling’, whichever comes first)

To recap, last year’s highly admirable but unattainable resolutions were:
1. I will not hide in the bathroom when volunteer Zelma comes in because I can’t hear about how her daughter in law is ruining her son’s life one more time. (after only 3 days into the new year and spending 45 minutes listening to Zelma describe her daughter in law’s inability to make proper cheese blintzes, the next time I saw her come in, I bolted for the bathroom where I keep a Reese’s peanut butter cup taped under the towel dispenser.)
2. I will make senior manager Ella stop claiming that “there are no volunteers when you need them.” (yeah, after I stood up in that January staff meeting and spit out all kinds of impressively convoluted stats that no one could wrap their heads around, one of the volunteers had an emergency and could not show for an important assignment. And we all know that one volunteer’s absence is the basis for judging all volunteer involvement . Sigh. )
3. I will stop apologizing to the volunteers for things out of my control. (then my first day back, I answered the phone and a volunteer sweetly asked me to check on a request for reimbursement for an entry fee into an important event that she had to pay out of pocket because someone in marketing forgot to pay it, so she forked out $200 of her own money to cover the expense. Her request for reimbursement was submitted over three months before. “Holy crap,” I involuntarily shouted, ” I’m so so SO sorry!”)
So, this year, I’m going to pick just one of two possible resolutions and see if, for once, I can’t just stick to the one. My possible life altering resolutions for 2016 are in no particular order:
1. I’m going to now demand to be referred to as Goddess of Volunteers, because leader, manager, and coordinator do not seem to command any respect, so I’m going big and mythological. I will speak in a foamy but otherworldly voice and wear an olive branch crown and flowing gowns with gold sandals, even in the snow. I will announce that “I come from the sea on the half shell and will rule all volunteers like the beautiful goddess I am.” Hey, they say visuals work, so I’m calling ’em on it.
2. I will not drive a volunteer to North Carolina. I know this is pretty specific, but I figure if I say “out of state” I will really hamstring my chances of keeping this one. Maybe I should say, I will not drive a volunteer and her entire family to North Carolina for her grandfather’s doctor’s appointment to make it more attainable. I might have to add “in months that have more than 30 days” to really give me an edge. Here’s the tricky part on this one. I’m afraid that when volunteer Cal tells me his kids finally took away his driver’s license because, well, he has already hit a few cars in the parking lot when he comes to volunteer, I’ll be shouting, “you’ve got shotgun Cal, get it!”
So, maybe instead I should just resolve to do my best, be fair and professional and try to see the beauty in my job every day. That’s one I’m pretty sure I can keep.

-Meridian
January 6, 2016
Volunteers: The Quiet Why

But it was Mary, Mary
Long before the fashions came
And there is something there that sounds so square
It’s a grand old name….

Cohan George M. – Mary’s A Grand Old Name, 1906

Ralph, a volunteer for a hospice in-patient unit sat in the metal chair by the bedside of 97 year old Mary. Her wisps of white hair blended in perfectly with the assortment of pillows that supported her frail head and body. Ralph was holding her gaze, his brown eyes searching her blue eyes for clues. Her eyes were magnified in their sharpness by the lined and hollow face they stared out from and Ralph was determined to connect with her.

“Should I hold her hand?” he thought internally and was afraid. A strange man touching a woman might be perceived improper. “I want to stroke her head,” he thought but pulled his hand back. That was too forward.

He stared harder, drawn into her being and thought of her life. At 97, alone and childless, her husband long dead, what gave her life meaning? She was born almost a century ago, forty years before he took his first breath. What was her world then, and if she was going in and out of that era as the staff told him, what was she thinking about now?

Suddenly he remembered a song his father would sing to his mother, who was also named Mary and he began to quietly sing, tentatively at first, the lyrics gliding over and under his gaze. “For it is Mary, Mary, plain as any name can be.”

Those blue eyes widened and recognition rushed back to meet him. Ralph sang on softly, “But it was Mary, Mary, long before the fashions came…” Now, caution gone, he held her hand and thought he felt the murmur of a squeeze. Mary’s lips stirred, trying to sing with him. It didn’t matter to Ralph that he had always been told his singing was awful. It didn’t matter that he couldn’t remember all the lyrics correctly, he sang on, to her, to his beloved Mother, to all the Mary’s that ever lived.

Tears shimmered over the blue eyes in a pool of kinship. For a brief moment he imagined he could see his mother’s eyes looking back at him.

Then the eyes grew weary and closed. Mary’s slight frame relaxed into a peaceful sleep. Ralph let go of her hand and tiptoed out from the room. A nurse was standing in the doorway, wiping tears from her cheek.

Nothing was said. Nothing needed to be said. Ralph nodded at the nurse and left her to attend to Mary. He gathered his things and left the in-patient unit. He had errands to run. As he walked out the door, he sang softly, under his breath, “and there is something there, that sounds so square, it’s a grand old name.”

-Meridian

December 16, 2015
It’s 2pm and Everyone is Leaving for the Holidays Except…

I’m just going to say it: Volunteers are expected to work holidays. Every single holiday, every single time. No exceptions.

Sonia, the volunteer coordinator for a busy health care clinic was approached on December 21st last year by the CEO. “We need you to round up a few volunteers to man the front desk on Christmas day so that our receptionists can be with their families. Thanks.”
Sonia stammered, “But the volunteers want to be with their families too. I don’t know that I can find anyone. A great number of them are going out of town.” The CEO just stared at her and so she hurriedly added, “but I will do my best as always.”

Ahh, the holidays or as I like to call them, the “hol the heck in the world will I find all these volunteers days”.
I remember one year being asked to “get” volunteers to go into nursing homes on Christmas day to deliver baskets of goodies for the staff who were working that day.

When suggesting that volunteers could deliver the baskets on Christmas eve or another day, I got a peevish look. “We want it to be for the staff working that day and we want them to you know, remember us for thinking of them on the actual holiday.”

Oh, so you want the volunteers to spend their holidays marketing, is that it? Then, why are you paying a marketing specialist? And why are we thinking of everyone else on the holidays except our volunteers?

But back to Sonia who sighed and said, ” I do not ever remember being told to give the volunteers a day off on holidays. Rather, I was always asked to find more so that they could fill in for the droves of staff that took the holidays off. I guess I just wish that organizations would realize our volunteers are people with lives and family. I wish volunteers would be the first ones thought of when my organization considers family needs during special occasions. And I wish that organizations would properly thank the volunteers who give up their day to help out on holidays with true recognition or a gift or something special. I know my volunteers see through the gifts I buy and pass off as being from the entire staff.”

It’s frustrating to hear organizations say they value volunteer contributions but fail to treat volunteers as real people who have lives beyond their commitment to us. And really, volunteer managers shouldn’t have to “educate” our management on that fact. Organizations’ managers should have enough people skills to realize that volunteers deserve to also be thought of when planning holiday coverage.

As management clears out for the holidays, they will turn off the lights and shut their doors. Their laptops and phones and tablets will sit on their desks through the holidays, ready to be utilized, for machines never require time off. Machines are tools without needs, made to be used without consideration.

But volunteers aren’t just tools now, or are they?

-Meridian

December 2, 2015