Just visited a volunteer in the hospital on Friday. This is something we all do routinely; visit in the hospital, attend funerals of spouses, send get well cards and flowers, mourn the passing of relatives and bring casseroles to homes. Our volunteers are more than just unpaid help and the more we nurture them for duty, the more we get personally meshed in their lives. Unless we are stone cold beings, we are affected greatly by the things that befall our charges. They hurt, we feel. And because we have so many more part-time volunteers, we have more human element on our plate than any HR manager. It is our burden to bear.
This volunteer has inoperable cancer. Now, working for a hospice, this doesn’t come as some huge surprise. He was losing weight. He was worried and scared. He knew before they told him, but being a private, independent person, he kept us at an arm’s length until he was sure. Now, he let us in. He talks about quality of life. He wants to continue to volunteer. His son was touched by how well we knew his Dad, how we had inside jokes with him, how we reminisced over 12 years of service. His Dad is more than the guy who works on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He’s as human to us as a member of our family. And so we prepare ourselves to walk this last journey with him. Tears, loss, and hurt will be our companion. To care is to feel and when you manage volunteers, your feelings are open at all times. We bare ourselves emotionally because we care that these people get something out of their volunteering and so ultimately, we care about them.
All the encouragement, the jokes, the listening, the training, the feedback, the inquiring, the answering, the building? That was easy.
Now once again, comes the hard part: The goodbye.
_Meridian
Thank you for your entry on the loss of volunteers. I am attending the Memorial Service of a dear woman who gave 49 years of her life to our organization. Since I found out the date of the service about a week ago I’ve been feeling a bit put out – you see the service is the same day as my birthday. Now I’m a bit quirky about my birthday – for example having a birthday “celebration” the weekend before or after my birthday is not “celebrating” my birthday because it is not my birthday. After reading your entry I see that the volunteer is not taking my birthday celebration away from me, but I am celebrating the lives of two great women on the same day (me and the volunteer).
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Hi Cynthia!
You are so spot on, where does it end? Skip a child’s graduation, a day trip long planned, a crucial meeting? We all have to pick and choose and we pick very carefully, oftentimes to our own detriment. I still live with guilt over not being able to go to certain important functions for volunteers, (an 80th birthday and I was out of town). I guess if we treat each and every volunteer well to the best of our ability, we won’t have so much guilt when we can’t be there for everything. We’ll still have some guilt, but maybe not as much! Ouch, this part of the job hurts!
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Hello Meridian –
I have been following your posts for a while now, admiring the beautifully-crafted calligraphy of your writing, and the very human approach you have to volunteers, and to management of volunteers. You are also reminding me of the best, and sometimes the worst, of my experience of managing volunteers for a hospice organisation.
I am taking the liberty of quoting you in my next blog (management4volunteers.wordpress.com) because (1) I think what you say is so right and real, and (2) it cannot be repeated enough.
Thank you for keeping me grounded on the basics and the best of managing volunteers.
Sue Hine
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Hi Sue,
thanks so much, I will check out your blog! I think it’s so important that we “talk” to each other, I know it helps me tremendously to feel part of a group going through similar circumstances.
-Meridian
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